Obsessed
by seeimsmiling360
Summary: Revisits Season 4 Tamela and Pam's "Eat, fuck, and kill" line. Begins right after Episode 4x11. DISCLAIMER: Some chapters contain violence and non-consensual sexual activity.
1. Chapter 1

_**Will continue with my multi-chapter fic now, but felt really inspired to write this. Realize it's not for everyone, but if you like it, please please comment, because that's the impetus that gets me to write more :P **_

Tara sat inside Moon Goddess Emporium in silence. Everyone else was gone, including Marnie's dead body. The killing had been reported to the police, and the blood and mess had all been cleaned up. Tara told Sookie that she just needed a moment, and that she would catch up with her soon.

Yet here Tara sat, two hours later, trying to organize her scattered, chaotic thoughts.

Now that it was all over, she wondered what she was going to do. There was no longer any fear of necromancers here. And Eric was back to his usual state. And Sookie was safe.

But New Orleans and Naomi… her previous life seemed so far away now. It had all been a lie, but it was a comforting, safe one. Of course she missed her girlfriend, but she knew she had done the right thing.

_Maybe I'm just meant to live a fucked up life_, she thought. _Maybe this really is where I belong._

The idea of returning to New Orleans was so readily possible again. Of being with Naomi again, of being somewhat normal… happy, even.

Then Tara remembered.

_"It may be 10 minutes from now or 10 years: the moment you think you're safe, I promise I will hunt you down and fucking shred you like confetti."_

There was no point in leaving. Things would be hopeless wherever the hell she went. Tara felt herself beginning to wallow in self-pity, but instead she chose anger. This one psychotic bitch was the only thing stopping her from her potential life.

"Fucking Pam," she spat out.

Tara stood up, finally realizing she wanted to get the fuck out of there. But as she started to leave-

"Did someone say my name?" an amused voice called out, the speaker out of view.

Pam then emerged as she sped inside the room, planting herself solidly in front of Tara. She looked like hell. There were traces of blood stained underneath her eyes from where she had been crying over Eric, but she was definitely in no sentimental mood at the moment.

For some reason Tara wasn't afraid. Maybe she was too emotionally drained at this point.

"You look like shit," Tara uttered plainly.

"And you're about to," Pam retorted threateningly.

"You're back to your normal, sour-faced self, ain't you?" Tara asserted. "You have no beef with me now. So why don't you just leave me the fuck alone," she said as she started to walk away.

"Now why would I want to do that?" Pam responded sardonically, blocking Tara's path.

"Cuz I've done nothing to you, bitch. So quit stalking me," Tara replied.

"Bullshit," Pam uttered dryly.

"I ain't fucking lying'! I'm not a goddamn witch. I have no fucking magical abilities whatsoever," Tara said as she gestured to her whole body. "And whatever nasty ass spell Marnie cast on you is gone. So just-" Tara tried to walk away again, but Pam once again cut her off.

"Why are you so obsessed with me?" Tara demanded.

"Don't fucking flatter yourself, Tara" Pam replied.

"No but seriously, what the hell is it with you?"

Tara had a thought, but then almost laughed at how ridiculous it was. Yet she decided to say it anyway.

"Maybe… maybe this is your own… fucked up idea of a seduction," Tara verbalized as she mentally worked this through in her head. She realized what she was saying was completely absurd, but she also knew from personal experience that in the past, she was at times harshest to the ones she wanted the most.

Tara spoke louder now. "So listen, cuz what _I'm_ thinking- I mean, this is how I figure-"

Pam sped towards Tara and shoved her against the wall. "How about you shut the fuck up?"

Tara didn't know if this reaction meant her hypothesis was correct, but she started to run with it, even just to continue to infuriate the vampire.

"Is this turning you on right now? Touching me like this?" Tara asked, raising her eyebrows sassily. "Would it help if I was protesting?" Tara's voice raised and she started pouting like a little girl. "Oh please Pam, please let me go! I'll do anything!"

Pam slapped her hand against Tara's mouth, silencing her.

"You're really starting to piss me off," she growled.

Tara shoved her hand aside. "Nah, I don't think you're pissed off. But I do think you're jealous. I mean you did try and kill my innocent girlfriend, didn't you? My tongue in her mouth as you watched on, eyelids sagging down your ugly fuckin' face." Tara looked Pam right in the eyes. "Just say it... You want me." Tara moved to whisper into Pam's ear. "You're just too pussy to admit it."

Pam let out a guttural scream. She pulled Tara off the wall, turning her 180 degrees and pushing her hard. Tara flew halfway across the room, landing on the floor with a thud. A sharp flash of pain ran through her spine, but she tried her hardest to mask the hurt.

"You have got to be the most delusional, over-confident cunt I have ever met," Pam spat out as she marched towards Tara.

The wind was knocked out of Tara, but she managed to breathe out some words as she winced.

"If you… hate me that much… why don't you… just… fucking kill me? Seems like… you want to… keep me around," Tara got out, struggling as she started to sit up.

Pam vamp sped towards her and shoved her down to the ground again, straddling her and pinning her hands above her head. Tara couldn't help but cry out in pain.

"Oh, because that wouldn't be any fun, now would it? I want to make this last as long as possible," Pam drawled.

Tara regained control of some of her breathing. "So this is your favorite position, seems like, yeah?" she mocked, recalling her near-death experience with the vampire at the cemetery. She knew Bill had forbidden Pam to kill her, but in this moment, Pam seemed so enraged that she didn't seem to care.

Tara knew it was going to happen any second now, that she was making it worse, but she couldn't help herself. She was getting to Pam and didn't want to stop.

"Well what are you waiting for?" Tara mouthed. "Make me beg for it."

"You insufferable cunt," Pam declared, removing her hands from Tara's and kneeling so she was now in between her legs. "Is this what you want?" she demanded, grabbing Tara by the hips as she pulled her closer and forced her legs wider apart.

Pam squeezed Tara's inner thighs so hard that she knew she was leaving bruises. She brought her face right next to Tara's and whispered, "Don't think I won't fucking do it."

Tara was now terrified, but at the same time she felt a throbbing between her legs that she desperately tried to ignore.

"Whatever, bitch. It's your fucked up fantasy," Tara retorted.

"See, that's funny," Pam said, "Because I recall this being _your_ idea."

"You just tell yourself whatever you need to," Tara replied sarcastically.

Pam brought her knee in between Tara's legs, pressing against her clit. Tara exhaled through her nose, trying to keep her face as deadpanned as possible.

"So you don't want this…" Pam uttered, her eyebrow rising as she pressed her knee harder.

"No, you fucking freak," Tara replied, tensing her abs, trying not to squirm.

Pam moved her hands to the seam of Tara's pants, but Tara smacked Pam's chin up with the heel of her hand. The hit made Pam bite her tongue hard, and she tasted blood in her mouth as the cut healed. Tara tried to get up, but Pam shoved her shoulders down, more pissed off than ever. Tara tried to hit her again, but Pam slammed her hands to the floor, moving to hold them with one hand only as the other pulled Tara's pants and underwear down to her knees. Tara struggled underneath Pam's hold, and then lifted her head and spat at her. Pam was surprised for a moment, but then smiled. She moved her free hand to her throat where Tara's saliva landed. She wiped it slowly onto the pads of her fingers as she stared at Tara's defiant expression.

"Well now you're just asking for it," Pam said, her voice low and smooth.

Tara tried to force Pam off of her, wriggling and twisting desperately, until Pam's hand suddenly thrust unapologetically into Tara, who couldn't help but let out a whimper. To the surprise of both of them, Pam's fingers slid right in.

"My, my, what have we here?" Pam asked wickedly.

"Fuck you," Tara exhaled, but Pam started to speed up her thrusts, silencing her. Tara's chest heaved as her breathing quickened.

"Who the fuck do you think you are," Pam started, "Trying to fuck with me?" she asked unswervingly.

"I… told….you," Tara breathed out, trying to get a hold of herself as Pam's fingers curled inside of her and started thrusting up.

"I'm… not trying…" Tara moaned. "To…fuck with… Oh…" Tara's mouth fell open and her eyes fluttered shut.

Pam looked down at her. As furious as she told herself she was, the more she watched Tara writhe under her hand, the more she felt arousal start to replace her anger. She felt Tara clenching around her fingers and then, her fangs clicked.

Tara heard this and opened her eyes, which promptly widened when she saw Pam's fangs.

"Don't you fucking do it," Tara warned.

Pam snapped out of it. She removed her hand, feeling Tara's wetness as she pulled out.

"You do know I can't take your 'no' seriously anymore, right?" Pam replied tauntingly.

She moved to Tara's neck, pushing her hair to the side.

Tara flashed back to a year ago, remembering Franklin's fangs penetrating her supple skin and how fucking awful it was. No way was she going to let that happen again.

Pam was taking her time, scratching her fangs torturously over Tara's neck. As she did so, Tara reached under her tank top where a long silver necklace with a large, thick pendant lay. She tugged until it fell into her hand, and as she felt Pam preparing to sink her teeth in, Tara reached up and pressed the pendant to her throat.

Pam screamed as she felt the silver burn through her skin. Tara didn't release her hold, and Pam could feel her body losing strength. Tara pushed Pam off of her, but instead of escaping, she switched positions so that she was now on top of her.

"Get. The. Fuck. Off of me," Pam ordered throatily.

"Hard not being in control, isn't it?" Tara replied icily. "So used to being a _fucking_ bully," Tara said, her face now an inch from Pam's.

They locked eyes. "Don't you fucking kiss me," Pam muttered in disgust, the pain from her throat still agonizing.

Tara had no intentions of doing such a ridiculous thing. But as she looked into Pam's cold, cruel eyes she suddenly felt an unexpected desire for control and power surge through her. She removed the silver from Pam's neck, dropping the pendant to the floor and bringing her hands to Pam's mouth, pulling it open.

Pam was healing and knew she was still stronger than Tara, but for some reason didn't resist.

Tara tilted her head, moving her mouth roughly over Pam's as she forced her tongue inside. It was far from romantic. Pam didn't think she was responding, yet her lips were unconsciously moving against Tara's.

_What the fuck am I doing_? Tara thought, almost at the verge of pulling away and getting off.

But then… something happened.

Neither of them knew who it was, but someone moaned. As their lips glided over each other, a genuine moan of pleasure escaped one of them.

All of a sudden, hands were everywhere. Pam reached up and grabbed the back of Tara's neck, pulling her in closer to deepen the kiss. Tara ran her hands over Pam's breasts, then moved them lower, this time tugging her pants down past her thighs. She ran her hand over her panties, damp with arousal.

Pam's hands moved down Tara's torso and around to grab her ass. Tara then moved her hand inside Pam's underwear, sliding two fingers inside as her thumb circled her clit. She started to move them in and out, slowly increasing the pace. Pam moaned, and Tara moved to kiss her neck while adding another finger, causing Pam to dig her nails into Tara's lower back.

Tara ran her tongue over Pam's throat, over the recently healed spot her necklace had burned into. Pam grabbed Tara's face, tilting her head until their mouths were on each other again, tongues first. Tara bit Pam's lower lip, tugging gently between her teeth. Tara then sped up her thrusts to the point that Pam broke away, crying out.

Tara pulled her fingers out, now lightly stroking her up and down, changing tempos at her whim. Pam clenched two fistfuls of Tara's shirt and pulled them towards her. She was close, and she tugged at Tara even harder as she exhaled unnecessarily.

"Fuck…" Pam breathed, her voice high and soft, completely devoid of its typical severity. She then moved a hand in between Tara's legs.

Pam's fingers rubbed circularly around Tara's clit, albeit automatically as she felt herself starting to quake. She whimpered, bringing her free hand to the nape of Tara's neck again, pulling her in close so that their foreheads were touching. They both kept moving inside the other, eyes closed, not saying a word, moans and sighs escaping their bodies. They both knew the other was close. Tara pushed her fingers inside of Pam again, who then did the same, sliding inside of Tara up to her knuckles. Pam's eyes squeezed shut and her brow furrowed.

"Look at me," Tara ordered huskily.

All of Pam's resistance was gone. Her eyes fluttered open and gazed back at Tara.

Tara thrust her fingers harder and they both struggled to keep their eyes open as their bodies started to come. Tara was first, her hips starting to buck as hot waves of pleasure coursed through her. She groaned and then moved Pam's hand away from the hypersensitive area. Tara now placed all her focus on Pam, bringing her free hand to Pam's pelvis and pressing down, something she knew from personal experience always pushed her over the edge. It seemed to work, because Pam's fingers started to claw at the floor. Tara pressed down a little harder and moved to Pam's neck again, grazing her lower teeth against her skin and then biting hard. Pam gasped, her body shuddering as she released a string of incomprehensible sounds.

Tara watched Pam tremble and shake, waiting for it to slow. She then moved her face to hers, pressing their lips together ever so gently. After a moment, she pulled away, and they made eye contact.

All of a sudden, the air grew tense. The realization of what just happened sunk in for both of them. Tara sat up all the way, looking up, around, anywhere other than at Pam. She then looked down, embarrassed to see her pants and underwear around her ankles. She pulled them up hastily.

Pam did the same. They sat in an incredibly uncomfortable silence for a moment, and then Pam stood up. She adjusted her clothes, then swept a strand of hair away from her face, clearing her throat.

"So I guess… I'll see you around," Pam finally said.

"Yeah," Tara replied softly, staring at her hands.

Pam started to walk away. But then she stopped and swallowed, as if deliberating.

"And Tara…" she murmured, her back still turned.

Tara looked up. "Yeah?"

"I'm… sorry," Pam said, her jaw clenching, thankful she actually got the words out.

Tara looked down at the floor, silent. She nodded. Pam couldn't see her, but she sensed it nevertheless.

And with that, she was gone.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N** _I know this chapter is relatively short, but I wanted to post something today before I got swamped with outside work. I will try and post again tonight. Reviews make me update faster! : P_

Tara sat inside Moon Goddess Emporium for another two hours. She remained on the floor in the very spot it had all happened, staring at the floor. Her hands fidgeted with the material of her pants and she bit her bottom lip, at times so hard that she almost drew blood.

_What just happened? _This thought repeated itself relentlessly in her mind like a broken alarm.

Tara shifted her upper body slightly. Her back felt bruised all over. So did her thighs. Her knuckles were sore from where they were banged into the floor. Everything ached.

Yet all she could remember was the way it felt when Pam had grabbed the nape of her neck, kissing her like her life depended on it. Hands running down her face, tongue softly caressing her lips. And how Tara touched her back with everything she had.

Then the guilt surfaced.

_Only I would do something this fucked up_, she thought. Tara looked back and reflected on the lifetime of unbounded pain and abuse she had been through, even as a small child.

_Of course I would end up sleeping with the woman who threatened to fucking __**mutilate**__ me, _part of her avowed.

_Then why did it feel so good?_ another voice in Tara's head asked. Because when the two of them just let go, when they dropped their harsh exteriors and whatever games were being played, it felt so natural and so right.

_Listen to yourself! _Tara silently chastised herself. _What the fuck is wrong with me?_She then thought about Naomi. A wave of nausea swept over her as the idea of Naomi finding out what she had done crossed her mind. She would be absolutely horrified. And with good reason.

Tara lowered her head and rubbed her hands over her eyes.

_I'm just going to forget this ever happened. She clearly is not going to bother you anymore. You probably won't even see her again. Just stay the fuck away from vampires. And witches. And… just, stay the fuck away from everyone, for your own sake. _

Tara exhaled and then felt a tug of disappointment in the pit of her stomach. Deep down, she _did _want to see Pam again, even though she wouldn't consciously admit this.

Tara looked up and shook her head, trying desperately to stop reliving the way Pam's face looked when Tara was inside of her.

"Fuck," Tara mumbled, hand over her mouth as she stared vacantly at the wall, trying to push the images away.

It was no use. It was all she could think about.

XXX

Pam was back at Fangtasia. It was practically dawn and she needed to sleep. The place was nowhere near clean, but she didn't have the energy to tell Ginger off, wherever she was. She walked down into the basement, too tired now to even change her clothes. She slipped inside her pink coffin, closed the lid, and shut her eyes.

She lay there for almost an hour. She was exhausted but couldn't fall asleep. She could feel her blood start to trickle out of her ears.

She couldn't relax, and she then realized how uncomfortable it was trying to sleep in her constrictive outfit. She didn't want to get up, so she began to undress inside her coffin. She unbuttoned her top and pushed it to the side. But as her hands moved to her pants, she remembered Tara on top of her, whose warm hands had run down the length of her body to pull them off without hesitation.

Pam couldn't do it. She lay there in her bra with her pants still on, her hand resting on her pelvis. Both arms then moved to wrap around her waist as she embraced herself. She held there for a moment, then moved the back of her hand to her face to wipe away some more blood. She figured it was the bleeds, but then recognized to her dismay that it was a tear.

It was then Pam realized. She was lonely. Desperately lonely.

The tears started flowing now. She tried to hold them back but couldn't and eventually gave in. She held herself tighter, her body convulsing as she started to sob hopelessly. She didn't even worry about being heard, because no one was listening. No one was there.


	3. Chapter 3

_***** A/N **Oh my god, it is almost 11PM and I am still at work, having just finished writing this chapter. I didn't have dinner and I missed two dance classes because I wanted to finish this. You all better give me lots of love... :P ***_

It had been a week since the "incident." Both Tara and Pam carried on with their own lives, on the surface appearing to be at least somewhat themselves. Inside however, there was not a moment's rest.

Tara asked Sam if she could get her old job back as bartender. He of course said yes, but the long waits she endured between customers' requests for drinks proved to be agonizing. She dreaded being left alone with her thoughts. And orders of Tru Blood from Holly or Arlene ignited an irrational fear that Pam was somehow there at Merlotte's, sitting there, waiting, watching her.

Fangtasia wasn't much better. Pam was running the place single-handedly now. And every time she thought about Eric she remembered him screaming in her face and how terrifying and wounding that was. She felt weak; in the past few days she had completely let down her walls, and not just with her maker, but with a _human_. This was not acceptable. It was _laughable_. It was absurd.

Pam told herself all of this, yet she didn't look back on her encounter with Tara with regret. All she could do was reflect on it with a kind of wonder, because it was just… on such a separate plane. She couldn't compare it to anything else. It just stood there, in all its… everything.

At night Tara lay in bed, curled on her side, guilt-ridden that her thoughts weren't on Naomi but on someone else. She couldn't touch herself anymore. Well, she wouldn't. She would lie there in frustration, knowing exactly where her mind could go to find release, but she wouldn't. She was too ashamed.

Pam hadn't touched another woman since. She hadn't even fed from them. She had turned to Tru Blood for the past few days, and as sickening as it was to drink, it somehow made her feel better to force herself to swallow the saccharine, distasteful stuff. Like a punishment, almost. Like she didn't deserve the rich, satisfying pleasure of drinking straight from the source.

They both tried to convince themselves that every day they would think about what happened a little less. That this would all go away with time.

But it didn't.

XXX

A month had passed. Tara was at Merlotte's, which was dead except for a quiet, middle-aged couple lingering in a distant booth. Sam wasn't in that night, to Tara's disappointment. He was an enormous comfort for her, especially over the past few weeks. Talking to him, about anything, always made her feel better. He was so busy with his own life though, including with his girlfriend, that they didn't have much time together anymore.

Tara sat by the bar counter in silence. All the waitresses had left and told Tara she should just shut down already. That was over an hour ago, but it was now that Tara was finally starting to get restless. Just when she was ready to ask the couple to leave, she saw them getting up. They smiled curtly as they walked past her, the man tilting his hat towards her. Tara smiled politely back, then watched them push the doors open and exit.

She grabbed their plates and walked into the kitchen. She scraped the leftovers into the trash and placed the dishes in the washer.

She walked out of the kitchen and looked around. The place was eerily quiet. As she began to gather up her things to go home, she realized she would just be leaving one empty, isolated place for another.

She locked up and walked to her car. She turned on the radio and then immediately turned it off. As she drove down a windy road, nearing her place, she realized that she didn't want to be alone with her thoughts anymore. With _these _thoughts. She needed peace of mind. She had been so passive and so lifeless over the past month. She needed to at least do something… feel something.

Tara pressed down on the brakes. She made a U-turn in the middle of the road and started driving in the opposite direction. She didn't dare second-guess herself because she knew if she did, that she would never go through with it.

XXX

Tara warily pulled into the Fangtasia parking lot. She could hear music softly buzzing from inside the building. Her heart was pounding and she felt like throwing up. Still, she shut her car door and made her way to the entrance. She silently showed her ID to the bouncer, exhaled heavily, and made her way inside.

The music blared and filled her ear drums as she entered. Tara looked around. The place was quite packed. As she made her way to one of the tables, she felt a few pairs of eyes on her back. She didn't think she looked particularly good that night, but then realized it was probably because she hadn't really been here before. One vampire in particular was scanning her up and down like she was auctioned furniture put on display, but Tara was too nervous and preoccupied to cuss him out.

Her eyes swept over the entire club, but they never found Pam. A flood of relief coursed through her, but she was also disappointed.

"Can I get you a drink?" a man called out, who was standing behind the bar counter. She turned and saw a young, friendly-looking bartender who smiled at her as he dried the inside of a glass with a rag.

"I don't think I'm, um, going to be staying long…" Tara murmured.

"Here, this one's on the house," the man said, sliding a rum and coke across the counter. "It's a tradition I have for new faces 'round here."

Tara didn't want to refuse him. She walked over and had a seat on the stool, pulling the drink closer to herself.

"Thanks," she said quietly. She took a small sip, and stared at the counter as the rest of the club carried on with their business around her.

XXX

Pam was in her office. She didn't feel right to be out there, to be sitting in Eric's throne with the way things currently were between them. She also didn't have her usual snark and quick wit by her side, which was necessary when it came to dealing with desperate fang bangers and slimy, over-aggressive vampires. She sat at her desk, filing through tax papers, incredibly bored but grateful for having a task at hand. She pulled open the drawer to grab a binder clip when a huge crash was heard from the main area of the club. Pam's head snapped up, and she vamp sped out of her office.

Two vampires were in the midst of a fight, and a table had been smashed. One of them punched the other in the neck, who retaliated with a head butt. They were both clearly very young and impulsive, and the rest of the crowd seemed to be enjoying the scene, as no one was interfering.

Pam sped towards the two baby vamps, grabbing the hair at the back of their heads and pulling them apart.

"Get. The fuck. Out of my club," Pam spat out. "Now," she growled, her voice low and coarse.

"It's not my fault!" one of them protested. "He was saying he was gonna feed on-"

Pam yanked the back of his head even harder.

"What part of this are you not understanding, you pathetic dipshit? You are not welcome here. I said get the fuck out."

Pam shoved both the vampires hard towards the exit. They stumbled and staggered for a few steps to catch their balance, then hurriedly exited the club.

Pam's lips were pressed tightly together. "Show's over," she muttered, and turned on her heel to go back to her office.

Pam was surprised at the bite in her words. Maybe she was returning to her normal self after all. She moved past the club's occupants, her expression stern and fierce. Everyone watched her guardedly, and she suddenly felt more confident than ever. She didn't show it, but on the inside she wore the slightest of a smirk.

And then she froze.

There, sitting at the bar right in front of her, was Tara. She looked at Pam steadfastly, yet with apprehension, her mouth slightly parted in a relaxed way. They stared at each other for a while, and Pam had to consciously remind herself to _speak_.

"Hi," she said finally.

"Hi," Tara replied softly.

XXX

"And this is… the basement," Pam announced awkwardly.

She had no idea what to do with herself or how to act around Tara now, so she had decided to give her a short tour of Fangtasia. Tara was quiet but seemed to be going along with it. Pam stood on one of the bottom steps, and Tara was on the floor ahead of her looking around.

"So down here we, uh…" Pam didn't really know how to describe the dungeon.

"I know what you use it for," Tara replied faintly.

Pam wanted to rip her own hair out. She forgot. She had forgotten this was where she and Eric had chained and tortured her cousin for weeks. Where on another occasion she had stood over Lafayette, stiletto to his chest, whipping around to then see Tara with a gun pointed right at her heart.

They both stood there in uncomfortable silence as they recollected their past interactions.

"I um… don't know why I'm showing you all this," Pam mumbled, stunned at how completely useless and pathetic she was acting.

"It's okay," Tara replied. "I don't even know why I came here," she said honestly.

Tara didn't mean it in a bad way, but Pam felt a small stab when she heard this.

"So I guess I'll just… go," Tara said hesitantly.

"Okay," Pam said lightly, swallowing.

Tara stepped slightly to her right to move past Pam, and started to climb the stairs rather slowly. Pam stood there, immobile, staring ahead and clenching her jaw. But she then closed her eyes and reached her arm out.

"Wait," she breathed.

Tara stopped and looked down to where Pam was gently grasping her forearm. Tara then gazed at Pam, who looked so open and so timid that it was jarring.

Tara descended two steps so she was standing next to Pam.

"Is something wr-"

But Pam leaned in and kissed Tara, effectively interrupting her words as their lips overlapped. Tara exhaled through her nose and her eyes slipped shut as she felt Pam's warmth and softness on her.

It wasn't until this moment that both of them realized just how tormenting the past few weeks had been for them, having spent them in such isolation and such shame.

And now they desperately clung to each other. Tara deepened the kiss as her tongue slipped inside Pam's mouth. Pam's hands moved up around Tara's neck and down the front of her body. She sighed into her mouth, and Tara pulled her down a couple of steps until they were both on the floor. They moved away from the stairs and kneeled towards the ground, lips still connected. They faced each other on their knees and continued to caress each other, their kisses wet and warm and soft.

They began to undress each other. They didn't look each other in the eye though. There was still a guilt and an unease they were afraid would resurface the moment they did. Pam looked demurely and shyly down to the side as Tara unzipped her top and pulled it off. Her hands were so warm, and she knew hers would not feel nearly as comforting.

Garments continued to be shed until they were both fully unclothed. Pam gently pushed Tara down so she was sitting, and then slowly lowered her onto the ground. Tara shuddered as her naked back pressed against the cold floor. Pam lightly dragged her fingers down the front of Tara, in between her breasts, down her stomach, and pausing right around her hips. Tara felt a throbbing in between her legs and reached her hand up and moved it over Pam's, pushing them both lower until her breathing hitched. Pam's thumb circled around her clit slowly and Tara's eyes squeezed shut, her brow furrowing as she exhaled audibly through her nose. Pam moved down to kiss Tara's neck, running her tongue teasingly over her smooth skin.

Pam took her hand away, and Tara whined softly. Pam started to place small kisses down Tara's chest and stomach, pushing open her legs gradually with her hands. Tara froze, her eyes widening, realizing what Pam was about to do.

She wanted it. Badly. But she also didn't know if it was okay. It was a very intimate thing.

Pam moved up slightly to run her hands over Tara's breasts, squeezing gently and then firmly, then moving them to rest on Tara's hips. She kissed her again, fingers rubbing over her hip hones.

"I missed you," she whispered.

Tara held back a sob. Whatever doubts she had were quelled right then and there, but she was also overwhelmed at the sheer ability this woman had to make her feel. Any and everything. She tried to grasp why this was, how one person could have so much influence on her, but when she felt Pam's tongue slide in between her legs she lost all sense of focus.

Tara let out a heavy moan. It felt. so. good. Her thighs were already quaking as she tried to keep them open, and she emitted tiny whimpers every time Pam's tongue lightly flicked her clit.

Pam slowly brought Tara to climax, whose hands ran through Pam's hair and tugged a little too hard as her body shuddered and pulsated. She was breathing heavily and opened her eyes foggily. She sat up, pulling Pam onto her lap so that she was straddling her thighs. Tara kissed her hard, grabbing Pam's hips to pull her in even closer. She could already feel Pam's arousal on her thighs. Tara sucked on her lower lip, and as she pulled away her teeth dragged against them.

Tara moved her hand down Pam's lily-white stomach, pausing for a moment as she drew her face nearer to Pam's.

"I missed you too," she whispered into her ear.

Tara then pushed her fingers inside Pam as deep as they would go. Pam gasped and her fangs clicked. Tara didn't care. She began to thrust into her, varying her pace unpredictably as Pam wrapped her arms around her tightly. Pam moaned and sighed, clinging tighter to Tara whose fingers skillfully worked inside of her.

Their foreheads touched as Pam rocked over her, nails digging into Tara's back. Tara withdrew her hand and slid her fingers so lightly over her clit but that was enough. Pam cried out, pressing the side of her face to Tara's as her body began to shake.

Tara held her firmly as Pam's shuddering slowly subsided. She moved to rest her forehead against Pam's chest, who slipped her hands underneath Tara's arms and held her close.

How long they stayed like that they did not know. But they held each other in silence, the only movement coming from the rise and fall of Tara's chest. There they remained, completely unconscious of the muted voices and the vibrating bass emitting from right above them, completely focused on each other.


	4. Chapter 4

_***** A/N**__ Hey guys. I bring in some other characters this chapter, and I wanted to say that not all of them are going through exactly what they actually did in Season 4 (e.g. Lafayette losing Jesus and that whole Marnie situation). I had a lot of fun writing for some other characters, and just note that there are actually no typos in Lafayette's dialogue, haha. I would love your feedback; please comment! ***_

The two of them lay on the floor together, eyes closed, the air tranquil and still. Their clothes were now on, but they had stayed down in the basement the entire night. Pam's head rested on Tara's chest and one arm was draped over her. Tara was tired, but she knew Pam actually _had_ to sleep. The sun was starting to rise and Tara felt all of Pam's weight on her, sensing her exhaustion. She sat up slightly, gently lifting Pam's head and scooting over to place her head back on the ground. Tara moved to kneel beside her, grabbing under Pam's knees with one arm and supporting her back with the other. She lifted her up, and Pam unconsciously tilted her head against Tara's shoulder.

"Whatyoudoin…" Pam mumbled almost incoherently, her eyes still closed.

"You need to sleep," Tara replied as she carried her to her coffin.

"Iken do it," Pam murmured, shifting a little in Tara's hold, signaling her to put her down so she could walk herself.

"Go back to sleep," Tara stated quietly.

"Okay," Pam sighed. She seemed so delicate and adorably fragile that it was hard for Tara to even look at her.

Tara approached Pam's coffin, pulling the top open and lowering her slowly inside. Pam's body molded into the cushion, and she tilted her head to the side, her mouth slightly parted as the last ounce of consciousness she had drifted away. Tara gazed down at her, admiringly but also with a twinge of unexplainable sadness. She leaned down and placed a gentle kiss on Pam's forehead before closing the lid and walking away.

XXX

Tara slept in all day, and luckily didn't have to be at Merlotte's until 6 that evening. Still, when she got to work she didn't feel adequately rested, especially not enough to deal with the typical Bon Temps crowd that regularly frequented the place. She was in a bad mood and she didn't know why. The night before had been indescribably amazing, but perhaps it was the realization that the rest of her crappy life was still there and not going anywhere.

Lafayette spotted Tara from the kitchen and sauntered out towards her.

"Hey hookah, what's good?" he asked jauntily.

"Hey yourself," Tara said, with a little less attitude than Lafayette was used to. His brow furrowed and he turned his head slightly to the side.

"You feelin' aight?"

"Fine," Tara replied, "Just tired," the twang in her voice resurfacing.

"And why is that?" Lafayette answered. "Was you up all night or sumthin'?" his hand gesturing up her body.

Tara couldn't really say no, so she just reached under the counter to grab a few glasses.

"Oh shit!" Lafayette exclaimed, a mischievous smile creeping onto his face. "Was you with someone?"

Tara ignored him and turned to grab a couple bottles from the shelf behind her.

"Who was it, hm?" Lafayette continued, not letting her off the hook.

Tara said nothing.

"Bitch you know I'ma find out anyway," he uttered.

Tara felt her stomach drop. The idea of him finding out about her and Pam could never happen. _Ever_.

"What, is you afraid I already slept with him or somethin'? Cuz then youse probably right," Lafayette chuckled, patting the side of his head like a diva.

"How about you mind ya business?" Tara retorted, moving past him to go get some more napkins in the back.

"Well damn," Lafayette mumbled. "Guess he wadn't very good."

XXX

Later that night. Fangtasia had a decent crowd and Pam was leaning against the bar counter, no longer feeling the need to hide out in her office. She had awoken in her coffin earlier that evening a little disoriented, until she paused and recollected all of the events of the previous night. It had been maybe the best night of her entire life, but she was still a little embarrassed at just _how_ vulnerable she had been. She remembered how Tara had even lifted her up and carried her like she was a tiny toddler who had fallen asleep in her car seat. Pam was determined to retain her tough and unflinching exterior, but she also knew that Tara would always be the one exception to this, and that there was no helping this.

Pam was about to ask the bartender how his stock of O neg Tru Blood was doing, since it seemed to be an unusually popular choice that evening. But as she started to walk behind the bar counter, an incredibly distressed Jessica entered the club. She feverishly searched the room for Pam and when she found her, she walked over and stood there like a despondent puppy dog. Pam could see remnants of blood stained underneath her eyes.

"What?" Pam finally asked flatly.

"Can I talk to you?" Jessica asked meekly.

Pam put her hands on her hips and then raised her eyebrows, her nonverbal way of saying "Hurry up." Jessica realized that Pam wasn't picking up on what she was implying.

"Alone?" Jessica added, delivering it more like an apology.

"I'm busy," Pam retorted.

"It-it'll just take a few minutes," Jessica responded. "I just..." her face started to crumple, and she looked on the verge of tears.

Pam rolled her eyes. "Fine," she said, annoyed. "Come on."

The two of them walked into Pam's office, and Pam closed the door behind them. Jessica sat on the top of her desk while Pam stood across from her with her arms crossed.

"What is it?" Pam asked impatiently.

"Hoyt and I... we broke up," Jessica cried, looking down at the floor.

Pam stared at her. "_That's_ what you came here to tell me?" she asked irritably. "Sweetie, I've got a business to run."

"No, wait!" Jessica said as Pam started to turn towards the door. "It's just…" she sniffled. "You were right," she declared softly.

"Right about what?" Pam asked, not having the slightest idea what she was referring to.

"I…I really wanted to make it work with Hoyt, you know?" Jessica continued, as blood tears started to fall down her pale cheeks. "But what you were saying before… you know, in the bathroom that one time? When you were laughin' at the idea of us together, at the idea of a vampire and a human. Y'know, together, monogamously and stuff. How you were basically sayin' it could never work. And I…" Jessica started crying harder. "I know what you mean now," she whimpered.

"I tried _so hard_," she continued. "To make it work. I loved him so much. I did! It was so perfect in the beginning, you know? I couldn't believe the very first boy I kissed was the one asking me to move in with him, and introducin' me to his momma and everythin', and I finally wasn't alone anymore because Bill never pays attention to me, and doesn't even really _want_ me I don't think," Jessica continued, starting to sob, her voice growing higher and higher.

"And I just needed someone to talk to. I don't know what to do, Pam. I don't think I know how to be a vampire, a _real_ one. Like you," Jessica explained. "Cuz you, you seem so happy, just… eatin' and fuckin', you know? Like what we're supposed to do? But I don't know what to do, because I think I wanna be with Jason, but now he hates me and I don't want to make the same mistake over and over again. I don't know why I keep fallin' for humans. It's just hard," Jessica cried. "But I can't control it, I can't control how I feel, you know? Should I just stop myself before I mess everythin' up again? Before Jason really hates me like Hoyt does? But what if I get lonely? I don't know what I'm supposed to do. No one ever_ tells_ me anything, but I don't want to keep messin' up and hurting people," Jessica wept.

"Even if Hoyt and I were still together, I used to think about if we got married one day. And how he would grow old and die and then I'd be alone again, _forever_. Unless I found someone else and then _they'd _just die. And would that just be my life, over and over again? I don't think I can do that, but I also just don't want to be alone forever and I don't know if I can do what you do, even though you do it so well and seem real happy, even if you don't _show_ it the most. I guess I just wanna know what I should do cuz this hurts real bad and you've always known what to do whenever I've asked before. I guess I also wonder if you ever knew any vampire that _did _make it work with a human because I _really_ don't think I can stay away from Jason long. Cuz I mean I think he and I could work in a way that Hoyt and I couldn't, but maybe I'm just crazy? I just don't know what to think and feel anymore. My momma always told to follow my heart but my heart doesn't even _work _now and I don't think I even have a brain anymore, do I? Why is everything so hard? I just don't know what to do," Jessica sniveled, half her face now crimson from all the tears.

Normally Pam would never, _ever _let Jessica go on such a huge, never-ending vent like this. But she stood there speechless as she listened to Jessica. A steady fear grew inside of her as she listened to each new point Jessica made. _Was _it crazy to even think a relationship between a human and vampire could work? Is it even worth it considering one of them is going to deteriorate and die in a mere matter of decades? _Had_ she ever known any vampires that carried out truly successful, monogamous relationships with humans?

She found herself asking these questions over and over again in her mind.

"Pam?" Jessica said timidly.

Pam lifted her head, realizing she had been silently staring down at the floor without ever having responded.

She cleared her throat, trying to snap out of her fretful rumination. "I um… I don't know, hun. Maybe Hoyt just wasn't the right one for you."

Jessica's eyebrows lifted in surprise. This didn't sound like Pam at all.

"So you think Jason and I could work?" she asked optimistically.

"I didn't think that boy had it in him to commit to anything but a chili corn dog, but it seems like you could hold his attention longer than the average twit he seems to go for," Pam uttered, sounding more like her usual self.

Jessica interpreted this as good news. "I think I could too, Pam!" she squeaked. "I just gotta get on his good side again, you know? And I…I think I know exactly how," she added wickedly with a grin, remembering that Halloween was coming up.

"Okay, I gotta go now!" Jessica exclaimed, scurrying up to Pam and kissing her on the cheek.

Pam flinched, a little repulsed, but she didn't say anything.

"I don't know what I was so worried about!" Jessica peeped. And with that, the baby vamp scampered out of her office.

She rolled her eyes, but as Jessica slammed the door shut by accident, the recollection of everything the young vampire was panicking over materialized once more. Pam looked down and ran her thumb over one of her perfectly manicured pink fingernails.

_Was I right before?_ _Is this crazy? Am __**I **__crazy?_

Pam walked around her desk and sat down, leaning back in it as she continued to wrestle with her disconcerting thoughts. _Fuck_.

Suddenly there was a knock at the door.

"I'm busy," Pam announced loudly, hoping to deter whomever was at the door.

But she heard the hinges creak as the door slowly opened. There Tara stood in its frame with a small smile on her face.

"Hey," she said, her smile widening.

"Hey," Pam replied softly, and her heart sank.


	5. Chapter 5

_**A/N**. Oh god. I think I must be in a mood. I am just going to post this and run far, far away. _

Pam sat there quietly, trying to avoid making eye contact. Tara walked over to the desk and hovered beside her.

"How are you?" she asked, tucking a strand of Pam's hair behind her ear.

"I'm okay," Pam replied softly, looking down as she rubbed her index finger against her thumb.

"Am I allowed to be in here?" Tara inquired teasingly.

Pam smiled shyly. "Yeah," she answered, her voice faint.

"Hey," Tara said gently. "Is everything okay?"

Pam swallowed but didn't respond.

"Are you upset about Eric?" Tara asked, knowing something must be up with them since she hadn't seen him in a while.

Pam couldn't bring herself to tell Tara what was really going on, so she just nodded. Tara saw this and nodded too. She pulled Pam's chair out slightly from under her desk and grabbed Pam's hands as she sat in her lap, perpendicular to her as she looked into her eyes.

"Well I'm here now. How can I help?" Tara questioned, running her thumb across Pam's cheek.

Pam sat there in quiet agony. This was terrifying. She could feel herself falling for this woman.

"I don't really want to talk about it," Pam replied quietly.

"Okay," Tara said. "We don't have to talk." She leaned closer to place a soft kiss on Pam's lips. "You smell nice," she added.

Pam smiled reservedly again. Tara began kissing Pam's neck, and Pam's eyes closed. Everything she wanted was right here in this moment, but she couldn't shake off her feelings of fear and unease. This could ultimately never end well, right? Pam told herself she was not going to open up to Tara anymore. She didn't know why this premise sounded so difficult; she didn't open up to anyone, even to her maker the majority of the time. But the idea of holding back all of her deepest thoughts, desires, and experiences from Tara made her feel sick.

Pam tried to figure out a way to stop Tara, who seemed determined to ensure her lips touched every inch of Pam's body. But as Pam felt Tara's hands move over her breasts and then down past her pelvis she couldn't bring herself to stop her. She wanted her so badly, and she desperately tried to push away all of her pressing qualms and anxieties.

"I couldn't stop thinking about you all day," Tara said, her voice low and smooth.

"Yeah?" Pam breathed, opening her eyes and trying to compose herself when she realized Tara was getting on her knees.

Tara ran her hands up and down Pam's thighs, at times curling her fingers so her nails were dragging lightly, sending chills up Pam's spine and intensifying the pulse between her legs.

Tara moved to unbutton Pam's pants, unzipping them and tugging at them. Pam lifted her hips and Tara pulled them down to her ankles and then off. She then pushed her legs apart roughly, interrupting the slow and tender atmosphere but turning Pam on so much that she squeezed her hands into fists.

Tara rolled Pam's chair a little closer to her, dragging her nails against the inside of her thighs for a few more moments as Pam felt herself getting wetter with each caress.

Tara brought her thumb to feel Pam's clit over the panties, arousal soaked through the thin cotton. Tara gently rubbed in circles, and Pam started taking unnecessary breaths as she tried to keep herself quiet. Tara varied the pace and the rhythm, and Pam resisted the urge to feverishly push Tara's fingers inside of her.

Tara touched Pam like this for several minutes, sometimes alternating by stroking all the way up and down the length of her. Pam was going crazy. Her eyes were closed again and her head was tilted back into her chair. It wasn't until Pam started digging her nails into the arm rests so hard that they emitted a harsh, grating sound that Tara finally moved to pull Pam's underwear off.

Tara tossed them to the side and grabbed Pam's hips to pull her in a little closer. She started at the inside of her knee and gradually kissed her way down, occasionally biting and running her tongue against Pam's soft, pastel skin. Pam's fingers ran through Tara's hair, already grabbing fistfuls in preparation.

Tara blew a cool wind of air in between Pam's legs before spreading them a little wider and descending. Pam whimpered the minute Tara's tongue made contact, which lightly teased her flesh. There was a heat emanating from Tara's lips and tongue and she alternated between flicking and sucking. Pam was already so far gone. Tara moved her hands up Pam's hips to her breasts, pinching her nipples hard as her tongue increased its pace.

Pam choked back a moan and her fangs clicked. She gripped her fingers in Tara's hair harder as her legs started to shake. She only let tiny whimpers and light, sharp gasps escape as she felt herself begin to climax. Her legs tried to squeeze together and trembled as Tara held them open. She tensed and shuddered, leaning back harder into her chair as her body tried to calm itself.

But Tara's tongue didn't stop. Pam couldn't bear it and tried to push Tara's face away but Tara reached up and grabbed Pam's hands. She held them against Pam's abs as she continued to tease and suck on her flesh. Pam cried out and came for a second time, her own fingers digging into her skin, hands trapped underneath Tara's. She quaked and trembled and Tara only waited a few moments for this to subside before she stood up, lifting underneath Pam's hips and moving her so she was sitting on the edge of the desk. Tara nudged the side of the chair and it rolled away. She wasn't finished.

Tara hastily pulled Pam's top off, then sought Pam's lips with her own, kissing her fervently while she slipped her tongue into Pam's mouth. Pam let Tara lead and dominate, her own senses overloaded. Tara ran her hands over Pam's abdomen and up the side of her breasts. They moved to her back and she unhooked Pam's bra and pulled it off. She moved her hands to Pam's shoulders and then down over her breasts. Pam exhaled, frustrated that the throbbing between her legs had still not subsided.

Tara broke away from Pam's lips and kissed her jaw, then ran her tongue down Pam's throat and sucked on a patch of skin. She grazed her teeth against the sensitive spot at the juncture of her neck. Tara was working Pam up again, who couldn't help herself; she started frantically tugging at Tara's shirt.

Tara kept sucking on Pam's neck as she unbuttoned her own shirt and let it fall to the floor. Pam pulled Tara close, running her hands down the warm, smooth skin of Tara's back and slipping her hands inside her pants to squeeze her ass. Tara tried to ignore the ache between her legs and the memory of how Pam's long, slender fingers felt inside of her.

Tara kissed the underside of Pam's chin and ran her tongue down the front of her throat. She brought her hand in between Pam's legs, this time slowly sliding a finger inside of her. Pam squeezed Tara's ass harder out of frustration, her silent way of telling her "more." Tara obliged, sliding another one easily inside. Pam pulled Tara closer to her and tried not to let her head fall back as Tara started thrusting inside of her, gradually increasing the speed. Pam moaned loudly, her hips starting to twist over Tara's hand. Tara curled her fingers as she drew them out of Pam's body, letting them slide roughly along Pam's inner walls before she thrust back into her. Pam pressed the side of her head against Tara's, moving her hands up to her shoulders, gripping at her desperately.

"Tara," she breathed, clutching Tara's shoulders harder.

"You're fucking gorgeous," Tara whispered into Pam's ear.

She circled her thumb over and around Pam's clit as she added a third finger and Pam screamed. Her brow furrowed and she clenched her jaw, fangs cutting into her lips and her abdomen quivering with tension as she began to shudder and writhe against Tara's hand.

Tara held Pam's hips as steadily as she could as Pam continued to shake. Tara kissed her and ran her hands up and down her thighs, fingers lightly caressing her skin. She moved her hands up Pam's waist and then around to her upper back, pulling her in and deepening their kiss.

They finally broke apart, and Tara looked at Pam as her fingers gently scratched against Pam's skin. Tara gave her a small smile, and Pam returned it, although with a fresh pang of guilt. She had let this happen when she was supposed to be closing herself off. And here was this woman in front of her giving her absolutely everything she had.

"Do you feel better?" Tara asked, a hint of wickedness lacing her voice.

"Yes," Pam replied softly. It was partly true. Her body was spent and sated, but her initial contrition had returned.

Tara walked away from the desk to gather Pam's clothes. She began to help her get dressed, but Pam held her arm out.

"I can do it," Pam retorted a little too assertively.

"Okay…" Tara said, somewhat baffled by this response.

Pam got dressed hastily. Tara watched her vigilantly.

"Are you hungry? I can grab you a Tru Blood from the bar." Tara inquired.

"I'm fine," Pam responded, walking back to her desk and sitting as she began to organize the papers and folders that sat atop it in disarray.

"Is something wrong?" Tara asked, utterly confused.

Pam tried with all her ability to put on an uncaring and uncompromising veneer. She failed, but managed to at least muster up some words to speak again.

"I'm sorry, I have a lot of work to do, Tara. Can you see yourself out?"

Pam wanted to die the moment she spoke the words.

Tara's eyes widened and her brow wrinkled. She stood there for a few moments, glaring at Pam who kept her eyes down at her desk like a coward.

Tara moved to grab her own shirt off the floor, pulling it over herself swiftly.

"Have a good night," Pam said meekly, finally lifting her eyes to glance at Tara.

"Fuck you," Tara said.

She slammed the door and she was gone.


	6. Chapter 6

_**A/N. **__Oh my god it's almost 5AM. Why do I do this to myself? Anyway, so sorry for the wait but this is quite a lengthy chapter and I hope you like it. Oh and I know Tara lived with Sookie during Season 4, but I kinda pictured her living in that motel sort of place she showed Sam in Season 1. You'll see why later. Thanks for reading and your reviews mean the world to me. Xoxo_

Pam sat there, her ears ringing from the sound of the door slamming shut. She tried to tell herself that she was doing the right thing, that she was saving them both a lot of strife in the future.

But then why did it feel so fucking awful?

She began to rebuke herself for letting her guard down in the first place. Because now she was leading Tara on. Plain and simple. As she quickly reviewed everything that had just happened in the last hour, she felt herself overcome with torment.

_Oh God_, she thought. The gravity of it all had just sunk in. This woman comes to pay her a surprise visit after an indescribable night together, then makes love to her like she is the only thing that fucking exists to her, and is then abruptly dismissed like she's her whore.

Pam felt even worse now. She of all people should understand how being treated like that can be absolutely humiliating and degrading.

_I didn't even touch her back_, Pam thought, feeling even more horrified as she recognized her level of selfishness.

Having a conscience was not commonplace for her. Yet with Tara she felt herself wanting to avoid the slightest action or dialogue that could upset her. It was somewhat absurd, the miniscule amount of time the two had spent together that had led to them both caring so much for the other. But it was the reality. And Pam had fucked it up.

She didn't think she could feel any lower until she realized that in the entire history of their interactions, Pam had caused all of the suffering and pain. Tara had never once done anything wrong, from the day they first encountered one another to today. It was always Pam.

The idea of not being nice had never bothered Pam before in her vampire life. But the realization of her true character now was just plain devastating.

XXX

Tara stormed out of Fangtasia. She ran into fang bangers and her hip bumped roughly against a table, causing the glasses to rattle as liquid splashed out of them. But she didn't stop until she was out of there. She got into her car and drove as fast as she could.

_You fucking bitch_, Tara thought, stepping on the gas pedal even harder. She felt tears ready to surface but she held them back.

She felt dirty. She felt used. She felt like a fucking idiot.

She had never been this open and vulnerable with someone before. Not with someone who could take it and then trample all over her.

_What did you fucking expect? Just be fucking grateful that she didn't kill you. That's all you ever wanted from her anyway._

But it didn't matter now. Tara was invested and she couldn't shake this all off so easily. She had developed an attachment and she had created expectations in her mind and now moving on was going to be a painful and arduous process.

But what was not helpful was that she wasn't even angry at Pam, an emotion so necessary when it came to trying to heal and get over someone. She was scared. She remembered how harrowingly lonely it was to be apart from her before.

Tara missed her already, even as she drove away in silent anguish.

XXX

Two weeks had passed. Pam carried on with her life, but she had never been more miserable. Everywhere she went, memories of Tara slapped her in the face. The desk in her office. The dungeon floor. The bar stool Tara sat at the first time she came to see her.

Every night Pam secretly hoped she would see Tara pass through Fangtasia's doors, somehow having forgiven her for everything she had done.

But Pam knew this was never going to happen. And not even because Tara was incredibly stubborn. But because you'd have to be a fucking masochist.

XXX

Tara's defense mechanism was anger. The more pain she felt in her life, the more she lashed out at those around her as a way to protect herself from further hurt. And it was affecting her job now. The smallest amount of attitude from a customer sent her over the edge. Insubstantial tips infuriated her. Even compliments and polite conversation pushed her buttons in an irrational way. Sam didn't know what to do; he didn't want to fire her, but this was starting to severely affect his business.

During a quieter shift, he pulled Tara aside and tried to talk to her.

"Hey," Sam murmured, resting his hands by his hips. "What's been going on?" he asked with concern.

"Nothing," Tara retorted, her brow wrinkling and her arms crossing defensively.

"Well it sure seems like something," Sam said, his head tilting to the side. "Seems like you're really upset about something. Talk to me."

"I'm fine, Sam. Why don't you mind your fucking business," Tara replied as she began to walk away.

"Actually it _is_ my fucking business," Sam answered, his voice raising now. He tried to stop Tara by grabbing her arm.

"Don't fucking touch me," Tara spat out as she shook her arm out of Sam's grasp. "What? Are you gonna fire me?" she asked threateningly.

Sam stood there uncomfortably, not sure how to respond. Tara saw this and stared him down callously.

"Well I'll save you the goddamn trouble. I quit. You're fucking welcome," Tara uttered, and she abruptly turned and walked out.

XXX

Another week had gone by. And Tara had spent the entirety of it in bed. She slept and slept, barely getting out of bed, barely eating. Her mind was essentially blank; she felt numb and indifferent. But she couldn't bring herself to re-enter the real world. All she could do was sleep.

But her dreams… She would fall into a deep slumber and she would see Pam. Sometimes her dreams were wonderful, and sometimes they were terrifying. In a recurring one, the two of them were back at Moon Goddess Emporium, making love like they had before. But as soon as Pam would bring Tara to climax, she would shove her other hand inside her ribcage and rip out her heart, just as Tara had seen Eric do a couple weeks earlier. Tara would wake up in a panic, clutching her chest and not calming until she located the reassuring, steady beat of her heart.

Others though were purely euphoric. Tara would wake up with the sweet scent of Pam fresh in her mind; she would recall her soft touch and her delicate smile. Tara would have unquestionably reached for the booze upon waking from these utterly blissful but devastating dreams, but she didn't have any with her and she didn't dare leave her room.

XXX

It was 2 AM. Tara lay in bed, trying to will herself to fall asleep. Not that she had any sort of regular sleeping schedule now. But lately, thoughts and images and recollections had started seeping into her conscious mind, interrupting her previous state of numbness and detachment.

She didn't want to deal with them right now. But as she lay on her side in quiet darkness, she found herself looking back on all of her past relationships.

She thought about Eggs. And as soon as she did, she flashed back to him lying on the dirt, blood trickling out of the bullet-sized hole in his forehead. And she thought about Jason, the boy she had wanted since she was a little girl, and how he was the one to fucking pull the trigger.

She thought about Sam…. No. She did not want to think about him right now.

Then she thought about Naomi. _No._ She could not think about her right now either.

Tara curled up on her side, pulling the sheets up under her chin. All she wore was an extra large white t-shirt and she pulled it down her body as she readjusted her pillow. She exhaled slowly and then felt a surprising wave of drowsiness wash over her. She closed her eyes and within minutes she was fast asleep.

XXX

An hour later. Pam was standing outside the door to Tara's place. She felt like a fucking stalker, because how she was actually able to locate Tara's address, she would never tell a soul. She stood there for what felt like an eternity, trying to will herself to do something. She was terrified. And she felt like an idiot for showing up at such a ridiculous hour, but she couldn't get away from Fangtasia any earlier.

Pam took an unnecessary breath and bit her lip. After a moment, she placed her hand on the doorknob and turned it slightly, checking to see if it was locked. It wasn't. This coupled with the knowledge that Tara didn't own the property led to her opening the door all the way, and then walking inside as if she wasn't in control of her own body in the slightest.

Pam told herself she just wanted to see her. And for a moment, that's all she did. She stood from a distance and gazed at Tara, who looked so peaceful and so beautiful as she lay in bed soundly asleep. Pam moved in a little, just to see Tara's face closer up. But before she knew it, she was sitting on the edge of the bed, looking down at Tara with such joy at being near her again.

Tara shifted in her bed, giving Pam an enormous fright. She was about to speed away until she realized Tara was merely turning around to her other side. Pam smiled. And was clearly functioning solely on impulse, because she then found herself curling up beside Tara, her chest pressed against Tara's back as she wrapped an arm around her and shut her eyes.

They remained like this for a while. Pam reveled in it. She had missed Tara's smell, her touch, her entire presence. Pam was awake, but her eyes remained closed.

Suddenly, she felt Tara stir. Tara's legs rubbed against each other and she tilted her head up higher against her pillow. Pam realized that Tara must be dreaming, and again without thinking, she moved her hand that was wrapped around Tara to under her shirt, so that it was now resting on her stomach. Pam had forgotten just how cold her own skin was to humans, because after a moment, Tara awoke.

She was disoriented and still sleepy. It took a minute to remember what she had just dreamed. And then the disappointment sank in. She had dreamt of Pam again. She had essentially relived their time together in the basement of Fangtasia, sprawled on the floor with Pam's body against hers as they lay together in silent ecstasy.

Tara slowly felt her senses beginning to awaken. And then she was confused. Was she still dreaming? It felt as if she had never woken up, that she could still feel Pam beside her... her smell even seemed to be lingering in the air. It wasn't until Tara took a low, deep breath that she felt something.

_On her_. A hand.

Tara froze. There was someone. in. her. bed.

But Pam's fingers lightly brushed over her skin and Tara felt herself automatically relaxing. She knew who it was.

Tara didn't move. And she tried to stay quiet. She lay there, basking in the feeling of Pam's touch after so long. But moments later, there was a sniffle. And then another one. And another. And then Pam felt Tara's stomach begin to convulse. She was crying. Hard.

Pam clearly knew Tara was now no longer asleep. She sat up and gently pulled Tara towards her so that she was now lying on her back. Tara couldn't even look at her. She brought her hands to her face, covering them as she continued to sob.

Pam felt awful. She didn't know what to do. She gazed down at Tara in a panic.

Tara was weeping heavily now, her cries filling the entire room. Pam moved her hands over Tara's, trying to pull them gently off her face. Pam intertwined their fingers and moved both their hands down by Tara's side. Pam squeezed them lovingly, and patiently waited as Tara tried to calm herself down. Tara exhaled, blowing air out of her mouth slowly, her stomach still shaking as she did.

Pam moved one of her hands higher and she began stroking the side of Tara's face. She wiped away Tara's tears but couldn't help but feel her own beginning to brim as she looked down at her. After a moment, blood began to seep onto her cheeks as she continued to comfort Tara.

Tara still couldn't look at her. This was much too overwhelming. The amount of times she had wished she would awake with Pam holding her just like she had been… The amount of times she had arisen and felt the bitter reality sink in that it was all just a dream. That nothing she had thought she had experienced was actually real. That she was still utterly alone. This couldn't be real.

But it was. It was happening right before her.

A blood tear accidentally dropped onto Tara's chest. Pam cringed in guilt, but after Tara looked down at her shirt she lifted her gaze and finally met Pam's eyes. The only other vampire she had seen cry was Franklin, but Pam looking nothing like that. She looked heartbreakingly gorgeous, and Tara finally began to calm down as she watched tears slide down her cheeks. Tara's breathing began to return to normal. She reached up and caressed the side of Pam's face. Pam smiled, her face stained in scarlet but still glowing.

They both looked at each other, calm now, and wholly present. Tara sat up, wiping her face with her hands. She pulled Pam off the side of bed, trying to bring her in. Pam submitted, letting Tara guide her closer. She was on her knees, straddling Tara whose face was now pressed against Pam's neck. Tara inhaled, taking in Pam's sweet scent as she wrapped her arms tightly around her waist. Pam did the same, moving her arms so that they were now around Tara's back, holding her close.

They didn't speak. To be honest, Pam still wasn't sure she should be doing this. But her need to see her again had overpowered any worries and uncertainties she continued to have about them being together. She moved her hands to Tara's face, cradling it between her hands as she bent down to brush their lips together. Tara sighed. She had missed this more than she could ever put into words.

Pam began to kiss Tara's neck and jaw, and it wasn't until then that Tara felt all her current emotions begin to shift into arousal. Her eyes slipped shut and she exhaled through her nose as she felt Pam hands run up and down the sides of her torso. Pam lifted Tara's t-shirt over her. Tara had no bra on, and felt her nipples grow erect as they encountered the cold air. Pam's thumbs ran over them before her hands moved to squeeze her breasts.

Tara began to ache with desire. Pam massaged her breasts and deepened their kiss. Everything was so warm and wet and soft. Pam then pushed Tara back down towards the bed and pulled the sheets down lower off of Tara's legs. She slid Tara's panties down her legs, pulling them off and then slowly opened her legs.

Tara tried to control herself. She never thought this would be happening again. If she wasn't so turned on she'd start to cry again. She reached up, wanting to touch Pam back, but Pam wouldn't let her. Every time Tara tried to undress her or run her hands over her body, Pam would grab her hands and hold them down. She didn't feel she deserved to be touched. Not after what happened last time.

Pam then moved her hands to Tara's abdomen, softly running them over her smooth, defined muscles. Her slender, delicate fingers then danced over Tara's thighs, and Tara began to get frustrated with need. She exhaled audibly through her nose, and Pam sensed this. She grabbed Tara by the hips and pulled her closer to her, spreading her legs a little wider with the back of her hand. As she bent down to kiss in between her breasts, she slid a finger inside.

It wasn't enough. Tara tried to be patient but Pam was moving agonizingly slow. She was kissing Tara everywhere, underneath her breasts, down her stomach, over her hips, all while she moved a single finger in and out of Tara teasingly slow.

Tara moved her hand down so it was over Pam's, trying to urge it to go faster. Instead Pam suddenly pushed two more fingers inside, beginning to thrust into her rapidly. Tara choked out a moan, completely caught off guard. Pam didn't stop. She varied the speed of her thrusts, at times quickening to vamp speed that would cause Tara to cry out, and then slowing back down again. Sweat began to form by Tara's brow and down her back.

Everything was tender. Pam didn't stop kissing Tara. She was so grateful to be seeing her again, and to be _touching _her. That was the greatest privilege of all.

Pam nuzzled the side of Tara's neck and pulled her fingers out. They were slick and hot and she moved them over Tara's clit, all three of them now moving around circularly, causing Tara's legs to tremble, then squeeze, then kick. Pam's teeth lightly grazed over Tara's hip, her tongue occasionally licking her dark, silky skin. Pam re-entered her and continued to stimulate her clit with the palm of her hand, and Tara was there. Her eyes were squeezed shut and her brow furrowed, hips shifting and moving against Pam's hand as she felt a flash of heat burn through her. She whimpered, her body beginning to convulse as she came until her breathing finally held and her body stiffened.

Pam continued to kiss her all over as Tara's body began to relax. Pam wasn't done, but every time she tried to resume touching Tara between her legs, Tara would reach up and try and touch Pam back. Pam had to continually move Tara's hands off of her, yet Tara continued to insist. It wasn't until Pam realized that Tara genuinely wanted to touch her that she obliged, letting her pull off her top and then unzip her pants. Tara tugged and Pam pulled them off all the way along with her underwear. Tara brought her face close to Pam's chest, biting and then licking over the lace of her bra that covered her nipples.

Pam tried not to feel guilty as she felt the need for release build deep inside of her. But she wanted Tara to touch her. Badly.

Tara unclasped Pam's bra and slid it down and off her smooth, fair arms. Tara squeezed the sides of Pam's hips, relishing in her softness. As Tara moved down to the bed and onto her back, she brought Pam with her. They kissed for a while, heads tilting and tongues caressing each other. When they broke apart, Pam reached down and grabbed two of Tara's fingers, lifting them close to her face. She opened her mouth and sucked on them slowly, ensuring they were well-lubricated. Tara pulled them out and dragged them down the front of Pam's body. They brushed over her clit before Tara slid them inside, and just she did Pam reciprocated, gliding two fingers inside Tara as they resumed their kisses.

They touched each other like this for a while. It was utterly intoxicating. Sighs, moans, and sharp exhales filled the air. Tara moved her free hand up in between Pam's breasts to her throat and then up so she was cupping her cheek. They locked eyes and Pam's fangs clicked. She looked immediately apologetic, bringing her free hand up to cover her mouth. But Tara pushed it away. Pam watched Tara then sweep aside her dark hair that was covering the side of her neck. Pam looked completely dazed. Both their hands stopped moving inside the other as they continued to look into the other's eyes. Pam finally looked away. She couldn't dare do it.

But Tara was relentless. She pulled Pam's face forward and ran her thumb over one of her fangs.

"Do it," Tara said, swallowing.

Pam looked up at the ceiling and took an unnecessary breath. She was still not convinced.

"I want you to," Tara said again, her voice firm and resolute.

Pam let this register for a moment. She eventually looked back down at Tara. She bent down but she kissed her first, and very cautiously so as not to cut her. She began to slide her fingers in and out of Tara again, who did the same. Pam then gently broke away from their kiss. She looked into Tara's eyes one more time, then moved lower to the side of her neck. She placed a soft kiss against her skin first, and then after a moment she bit down, her fangs sinking easily into her skin as Tara's blood began to seep into Pam's mouth.

Tara gasped. Pam sped up her thrusts as she began sucking hard at her neck, Tara's sweet, rich blood flooding into her mouth. Tara reached around and grabbed Pam's back with one hand while the other continued to drive into her hard and fast. Her eyes squeezed shut; where Pam drank from her hurt but in an incredibly pleasurable way. The idea of Pam being inside her in more ways than one was driving her fucking insane. Tara tried to focus, and she pulled her fingers out of Pam, beginning to stroke her up and down. Pam did the same. Pam then broke away from her neck, which Tara was not happy about. But Tara's heart rate was so fast that Pam couldn't tell when she needed to stop and she did not want to risk going too far.

Pam leaned down again, running her tongue over the two openings and licking up the remaining blood. Pam slid her fingers up to Tara's clit and stayed there, rubbing around it so fast that her fingers quickened to vamp speed. Tara let out a heavy moan and gripped Pam harder, bringing her legs up so that her heels were now digging into the bed. She squeezed and tensed and her back arched as she sloppily continued to touch Pam between her legs. It was enough though, because Pam's abs tightened and her throat seized as Tara brought her to climax. Her leg muscles burned and everything began to tighten. She cried out and she brought both hands to Tara's hips. She dug into them a little too hard as she rode the hot waves and tried to still her shaking body.

After a few moments, Pam leaned down to kiss Tara again. Tara could taste her blood on Pam's lips, which was an incredibly strange sensation. Pam gazed into Tara's eyes before reaching her thumb up and pressing the flesh into a fang. She moved her thumb over the cuts in Tara's neck, which promptly healed. Pam kissed the spot on her neck again and then retracted her fangs. She lifted her head higher so they were face to face, and she grazed her nose lightly against Tara's as her eyes slipped shut.

Tara held Pam's face in between her hands, thumbs running down her cheeks where her blood tears had stained them. Pam slowly opened her eyes, and as they looked at each other a thought simultaneously entered both their minds.

_I think I am falling in love with you_.


	7. Chapter 7

_****A/N** Apologies for the wait. But I can't tell you how wonderful it is to hear that so many of you are enjoying this story. Xoxo **_

Tara smiled as she continued stroking the side of Pam's face. She just could not get over her eyes. They were so clear and expressive and so mesmerizingly blue. Tara didn't speak though. The saying "you have beautiful eyes" had become a tired cliché that she had heard much too often.

But Pam noticed her reverie. It warmed her heart, but she also felt like she should say something. The two of them had clearly made up, but Pam still felt like she owed Tara an apology. She looked around the room, just now noting how much of a mess it was. And she had felt earlier that Tara's frame seemed a little thin between her hands. It pained her to think that she had been the one responsible for driving her to this state.

"Have you been in bed all day?" Pam asked gently.

Tara cast her eyes to the side and was quiet for a moment. "Yeah," she replied faintly.

"Did you take the day off?" Pam inquired.

Tara clenched her jaw. Pam's questions were making her a little uncomfortable.

"I um… quit my job," Tara mumbled eventually.

"You did?" Pam replied. "Why?"

Tara hated having to revisit all of this. But she was honest.

"I think I was about to be fired," Tara answered.

"What happened?" Pam continued, not an ounce of accusation in her voice, simply curiosity.

"I was… a little upset," Tara murmured, well aware how much of an understatement this was.

"Oh," Pam said softly. She felt like such an asshole. She moved to the side so she was off of Tara and now sitting at the edge of the bed. She was naked but the darkness of the room maintained a sense of modesty.

Tara watched her for a little while, but eventually sat up. She crawled over to her and sat beside her. She shuddered as a draft of cool air met her skin.

Pam was staring vacantly at the wall, but then turned to look at Tara.

"Are you cold?" Pam asked.

"A little," Tara responded.

"You have goose bumps everywhere," Pam observed. She ran her hand up Tara's arm, stopping when she reached her neck. There was blood stained all over her dark skin. Pam then realized that there had literally been blood, sweat, and tears involved in their reunion. She was almost amused that this saying actually had some truth to it.

Pam stood up and reached for Tara's hand, walking away and pulling Tara along with her.

XXX

Pam pushed the door open to the bathroom. She didn't know her way around the place; for all she knew she could have been opening the door to the closet. It was a lucky guess.

"What are we doing in here?" Tara asked with a chuckle.

"Have you seen my face?" Pam retorted as she pointed to herself.

It was true. Pam's face had dried blood all over it and her eye makeup was horribly smudged. They really were a mess, the both of them.

"It's not my fault you're a cry-baby," Tara said teasingly.

"Look who's talking," Pam replied. She walked closer to the shower and turned on the water.

Tara smiled, but Pam's words stung a little as they took her back. To laying curled on her bed sobbing as she recalled the painful, unbearable solitude she had experienced from being away from Pam. She never wanted to feel like that again.

"Come on," Pam said, reaching for Tara's hand again and guiding her into the shower with her.

Water jetted onto Tara's shoulders and it burned her skin. She flinched and backed away slightly, but after a moment she moved forward and found herself adjusting to the temperature. It felt good and uncomfortable at the same time. Her breathing became shallower yet her whole body was relaxing.

They were silent again. Tara stood under the shower-head and Pam was in front of her. Tara tilted her head up, letting hot streams of water cascade down her back. Pam pushed Tara's hair back and gathered it behind her neck, then ran her hands over her clavicle to her shoulders.

Tara took a small step back and pulled Pam closer to her so that the water was now falling onto Pam's face. Tara brought her hands to the sides of Pam's face and brushed her thumbs softly across her cheekbones. The dried blood began to melt away as it joined droplets of water that trickled off her face to the floor. Tara's hands caressed Pam's face, washing away the remaining crimson on her cheeks and the black around her eyes. Tara looked at her, and realized she had never seen Pam like this. So natural. She was absolutely beautiful.

When she was finished, she moved her hands down Pam's neck past her chest to her waist. She held her a little tighter as she moved in to softly kiss her. Pam was still for a moment, simply letting their lips touch. But her hands then automatically moved behind Tara to grab her ass and she tilted her head, pushing her mouth harder onto Tara's and slipping her tongue inside. She had honestly just brought Tara to the shower to get clean, but she couldn't help herself. She always had to be touching Tara, even if it was simply a thumb brushing over her knuckles. But now she needed more.

Tara inhaled hot steam through her nose as her lips overlapped with Pam's. The kiss grew deeper and wetter and hands began to roam. Tara felt herself getting very worked up in a very short amount of time, but she tried to ignore this. She broke away from Pam and cupped her hands together as she brought them closer to the stream of water. She gathered some in her hands and splashed her face. She moved her hands over her eyes and down her cheeks, feeling the salty, dried tears on her skin wash away.

Pam didn't let her stay away for long though. She pulled her back in and picked up right where they left off. She took Tara's lower lip in between her teeth, grazing over it as she slowly pulled her mouth away. She ran her hands down Tara's stomach and down over her thighs. Tara grew frustrated as the ache between her legs intensified.

Pam lifted her arm up to adjust the shower-head, tilting it higher so that the water was now diagonally hitting the opposite wall. She then turned Tara around and gently pushed her backwards so that her back was now pressed up against the wall and water was hitting her chest and stomach.

Pam ran her hands up the sides of Tara's body and kissed her again, but only momentarily. She moved to her neck, running her tongue over her smooth skin and reaching a hand down to find Tara's. She intertwined their fingers and placed her free hand on Tara's stomach. Her fingers traced over her lower abdomen and she got down on her knees.

The hot water that surged onto Tara's chest already made it difficult for her to breathe properly, but when she felt Pam lift one of her legs and place it over her shoulder, she swore that she stopped breathing altogether. Pam dragged her tongue along the inside of her thigh and pushed Tara's knees open wider.

Tara tried to brace herself against the wall, but everything was so slippery. And when she felt Pam's mouth descend upon her, the knee of her standing leg buckled while her other leg gripped Pam's shoulder harder.

Pam pushed Tara's hips back and held them against the wall so she didn't slip and fall. She flicked her tongue and gripped her hips harder. Tara's eyes squeezed shut. Her brow furrowed and her hands slipped against the wall as she tried to hold steady. Pam increased the pressure of her mouth and tongue and Tara's legs began to shake. Her breath was ragged and her body was beginning to become overheated.

Pam let go of one of her hands from Tara's hip. She continued to tease and suck as she brought her free hand under her chin and slid two fingers inside. Tara whimpered and didn't know how much longer she could remain standing. She raised her arms and reached for a metal towel rack that sat high on the wall. Her hands gripped it and she tried to hold herself up as Pam began to work her fingers in and out of her, creating a rhythm with her tongue and lips. Tara's face bunched in frustration and her breath hitched. Pam curled her fingers and Tara's legs felt completely weak, like jello. She gripped the metal bar harder, her biceps straining and tensing as she tried to catch her breath.

Pam added a third finger and Tara pulled the bar above her so hard that it broke and came off. She was about to slide down the wall but Pam removed her fingers and swiftly pulled Tara's other leg over her shoulder, holding her up easily. Tara held the metal bar in one hand, pushing the shower curtain away slightly as she let the bar clang onto the bathroom floor loudly. She was so close, but she felt Pam pull away. Tara was confused but seemed to have no ability to speak.

Pam moved Tara's legs off her shoulders so they were back on the floor. She then stood up and grabbed the back of Tara's thighs, wrapping her legs around her waist as she knelt again and placed her down on the floor onto her back. Pam hovered over her, in between Tara's legs, her knees throbbing in pain as they pressed into the floor. Tara pulled her in closer so that they were flush against each other. Pam nuzzled her nose against Tara's neck and she suddenly plunged three fingers into Tara.

Tara cried out and wrapped her legs tightly around Pam, her heels digging into her lower back. She didn't know what to do with her hands. They moved from covering her face to trying to grip the floor to squeezing Pam's shoulders and digging her nails into her back. She arched her lower back and tilted her hips up as she clung to her harder. Tara loved when Pam touched her in any way, but this was the first time she truly felt like she was being fucked. She completely let go and gave in to it and was completely overwhelmed. She felt all of Pam's warmth and weight over her and she looked up, feeling dizzy and out of focus. Pam slid her thumb higher as she continued thrusting aggressively, and moved her free hand to squeeze Tara's breast, kneading and then pinching her nipple with her thumb and middle finger.

Tara whimpered as she found release, her muscles beginning to clench and contract. Her legs squeezed together and her body tensed. She gripped Pam's shoulders with her life and pushed down on them. Pam let her for a moment, but then pulled her body away slightly to allow Tara more room to breathe. Tara's stomach rose and fell rapidly as she took in deep inhales and exhales. Her breathing eventually began to return to normal. She felt a satisfied pulsation between her legs and she pulled Pam closer to her again, kissing her with any energy she could muster. Pam ran her hands down Tara's arms and intertwined their fingers again. They remained like this for a while as water continued to flow onto the wall and down to the floor.

Pam eventually pulled away, twisting her upper body to shut off the water. She swept her wet hair into her hands, wringing it and causing water to fall onto the floor. She reached down and pulled Tara up to sitting, who released her legs from around Pam's back. Tara used every ounce of strength in her abs to stay upright and she rested her hands on Pam's shoulders. Pam squeezed the water out of Tara's hair and then smoothed away lingering strands of hair on her forehead. Pam paused and looked at Tara, truly taking her in. She was stunning to the point of distraction.

But Pam knew she couldn't stay much longer. She could literally feel dawn encroaching upon her. She guided Tara's hands over her own shoulders and grabbed her by the hips, wrapping her legs around her again as she stood up. She carried her out of the bathroom and back towards her bed. Tara leaned in to brush her lips against Pam's, slowing Pam down, who now couldn't see where she was going. When she eventually arrived, she knelt one leg on the side of the bed and placed Tara down onto the mattress. Tara reluctantly let go. But as soon as her head nestled into her pillow she realized how tired she was. Her eyes wanted to slip shut, but she kept opening them halfway every time they did.

Pam grabbed her various articles of clothing that were lying on the bed and got dressed. She then walked over to Tara's dresser, pulling a drawer open and finding another large t-shirt. She opened a couple other drawers, searching for the right one. She eventually found a pair of underwear and placed it on top of the folded t-shirt. Before moving back to the bed, she tidied up the room. She gathered clothes scattered on the floor into a laundry basket in the corner and arranged various books and objects that lay in disarray on her dresser. When she was finished, she picked up Tara's clean clothes and moved back towards her.

Tara was now practically asleep. Pam struggled herself to stay awake. She pulled the pair of panties up Tara's legs and shimmied them higher. She then reached around to Tara's back, lifting her up and holding her up as she moved to sit behind her. Tara's back then rested against her chest, and Pam lifted her arms and managed to pull the t-shirt over her. She laid Tara gently back down and tugged at the sheets beneath her. She lifted them and placed them over her, tucking her in. She began to walk away, but as she reached the doorway she heard a faint voice call out.

"Where'r you goin'?" Tara murmured, her eyes still closed.

Pam smiled and moved back towards the bed, sitting down beside her.

"I have to go," she replied softly.

Tara was drifting away, but her brow wrinkled slightly.

"Why?" she breathed.

Pam chuckled. "Because I'll die, silly."

Tara didn't say anything for a moment.

"Oh yeah," she whispered finally, in the most innocent and adorable way.

Pam felt like her heart was about to burst. She reached down and stroked the side of Tara's face. If she didn't feel the pull of dawn as heavily as she did, she would have sworn she was human again. She hadn't felt this much love and emotion swelling inside of her since before she was turned.

"You make me happy," Tara sighed, almost imperceptibly.

But Pam heard her. And tried not to start crying again. Instead, she moved her hand down so it was now resting over Tara's heart. She held there for a moment, feeling its beat in the palm of her hand.

"You too," Pam whispered back. She leaned down and softly kissed Tara's nose. She reluctantly stood up and made her way out of her apartment. She gently closed the door behind her and looked up. Hues of amber and vermilion were beginning to bleed into the navy sky.

Pam sighed, and after a moment, she was gone.


	8. Chapter 8

_**** A/N** Spent all day writing this! You better give me love :P And I want to edit it one more time, but I have plans and need to leave. So apologies if there are any typos that I missed; I will fix them soon.**_

Tara woke up the next day in silent bliss. She still didn't feel like getting out of bed, but this time it was so she could lie there and revel in the memories of the previous night. Her bed was a mess; the sheets were rumpled and stained with blood, but Tara could still smell and sense Pam as she lay there and she didn't want to move.

It felt like a dream when Tara looked back on it all. It hadn't completely sunk in that Pam was truly back in her life. Because it almost seemed too good to be true. Tara had not been this happy in a long time, perhaps ever. And for one of the first times in her life, she wasn't running away the moment she began to feel something. Her desire to be with Pam was much too deep-seated to allow any of her insecurities and fears to get in the way.

As Tara lay on her side smiling, she felt her stomach rumble. This was the first time she realized just how hungry she actually was, and how little she had eaten over the past week. She had hardly any food with her in the apartment, and also remembered that she had hardly any money too.

_Ugh_, she thought. She needed a job. And realized she couldn't go to Merlotte's for either work or a meal now. Now that she looked back on her behavior there, she was mad at herself for lashing out at Sam like she did. But she was also too proud to beg for her job back, at least for now.

Tara sat up a little miffed. This was messing up her post-reunion glee. So instead, she got out of bed and grabbed a granola bar, some pretzels, and a book and got back in bed. She decided to procrastinate on the job hunt for now.

XXX

Pam had awoken that evening feeling incredibly content and relaxed. But she was also a little stunned at how well their reconciliation had gone. She didn't know how she predicted Tara would react to seeing her again, but she certainly didn't think it would go the way it did.

She was irritated as well, because she already missed Tara. She wanted her beside her as she slept. She wanted to wake up to that beautiful face every evening. She had wished she could have stayed at her place through dawn; a tiny part of her was even tempted to carry her back to Fangtasia with her.

Pam knew she was being ridiculous. But she could feel herself changing significantly, or at least reconnecting with aspects of herself she had abandoned years ago. She was allowing someone in past her tough, unwavering exterior. She was making love again. She was letting someone truly touch her again. She was allowing her sensitive and nurturing side to resurface.

Pam couldn't even chastise herself at this new behavior because she was too happy. It felt too good and she wanted Tara too much.

She lay in her coffin wondering what they should do the next time she saw her. She figured they needed to actually get out and do something, even though she would be perfectly fine spending all their time together in bed.

And suddenly, she had an idea.

XXX

An hour later. Pam was pushing the door open to Merlotte's, somewhere she hadn't been in a long time. She looked around and was reminded just how far South she was. Rednecks abound. Still, Pam moved past them all to the bar where Sam was working.

He was making a screwdriver as he saw Pam ambling towards him. He cocked his head to the side as she delicately rested her elbows on the counter and smiled at him coyly.

Sam was a little suspicious whenever vampires came to Merlotte's, but perhaps Pam just wanted to promote Fangtasia's business like the last time.

"Well hey there," Sam said. "Haven't seen you in a while. What can I do for ya?"

"Hello," Pam answered. "Could I speak with you in the back?" she asked simply.

"'Fraid I can't leave the bar untended right now," Sam replied.

"It would only take a minute," Pam said furtively as she raised her eyebrows.

Sam's eyes squinted and his lips pressed together, still unconvinced. This time, Pam leaned in and locked eyes with him.

"I'd _really_ appreciate it," she said seductively, as she began to take control of his thoughts.

Sam's eyes widened as he felt her influence enwrap him.

"Sure, of course," he responded. "Right this way."

Pam smiled again, and followed him into his office. They walked inside and Pam shut the door behind them. She looked around briefly.

"Well this is quaint," she said in her sweet and sardonic way.

Sam scratched his head. "Thanks," he responded.

Pam walked towards him and placed her hands on his shoulders.

"Now," she said, and locked eyes with him again. Sam stared back at her and the air grew still as she began to glamor him.

"Why doesn't Tara work here anymore?" she asked calmly, never breaking eye contact with him.

"She quit," Sam said plainly. "She was so upset and angry and she wouldn't tell me why. I didn't want to fire her but I didn't know what to do."

"I see," Pam responded. She held his gaze and continued.

"Here's what you are going to do. You are going to give Tara her job back, and it will be like she never left. You won't remember her quitting, or her absence, and you won't remember me coming here tonight to speak with you about this. Is that clear?"

Sam nodded obediently.

"Good," Pam said. She paused for a moment. "And you'll give her a raise," she added. "A substantial one."

"Yes ma'am," Sam answered.

Pam smiled in amusement. She was about to leave again, but then had another thought and had to concede to her curiosity.

"Are you attracted to Tara?" Pam asked.

"Oh yeah," Sam replied, still in a glamoured stupor. "I have a girlfriend now but she was the best sex I ever had."

Pam felt the tiniest twinge of jealousy, but she was more tickled by Sam's bluntness.

"Well... this was a nice chat," she uttered. "Now remember what I said and get back to work." And with that, she opened the door and walked away.

XXX

It was evening and Tara was still in bed. She had accomplished some things though. She had reluctantly changed her sheets, done some laundry, and showered again, actually washing her hair rather than just lying there and getting off like the last time. She had put on pants for the first time in days and pulled on a green tank top. Of course she was finally getting dressed at seven o'clock at night. She wanted to get back to a normal, diurnal schedule, but she also knew if she did, that she would have fewer hours with Pam.

She moved to her dresser to grab her phone, and as she did she heard a knock at the door. She cautiously walked towards it and pulled it open.

Standing before her was Pam, dressed in a tight black skirt that reached just above her knees, and a pink blouse tucked within it. Her hair was pulled back into a high ponytail and she had a wayward smile on her face.

Tara couldn't help but smile back. "Hey," she said shyly.

"Hey yourself," Pam replied. They looked at each other for a moment, basking in the joy of seeing each other again.

"Come on," Pam continued, taking Tara's hand and pulling her towards her.

"Wait, where are we going?" Tara asked.

"You'll see," Pam replied.

"Okay, just let me put some shoes on!" Tara exclaimed, repressing a "sheesh" because she was too thrilled at seeing Pam again. She scurried into the apartment and slipped on a pair of sneakers. She slid her phone into a pocket in her jeans and then ran her hands through her hair.

"You look fine," Pam replied, as if she was reading Tara's mind.

Tara glared at her. "More than fine," Pam added playfully, and Tara shook her head as she smiled at her. She walked out of the apartment and shut the door.

"Don't forget to lock it," Pam reminded her.

Tara chuckled. "Yeah, wouldn't want anyone _sneaking in_ or nothin' like that."

Pam smiled again. "Oh no, we couldn't have that, could we?" she retorted, giving Tara a wink.

Tara rolled her eyes and started to walk away. "C'mon," she said. "Let's go wherever the hell you're taking me."

XXX

Pam pulled into the lot of Merlotte's and found a spot in the back to park. She got out of the car and began to walk towards the entrance. Tara got out but didn't move for a while, puzzled and unwilling to go inside. She eventually walked over to Pam and stopped by the front door where Pam was waiting for her.

"Uhh..." Tara began. "What are we doing here?" she asked.

"You work here," Pam answered.

"No I don't… Not anymore. I told you that, remember?" Tara replied, staring at Pam with confusion.

Pam was quiet but her eyes gleamed with a hint of mischievousness.

"What's going on?" Tara ordered.

"I took care of it," Pam said frankly, pushing open the door and pulling Tara inside.

"What do you mean you-" Tara began as she stumbled inside Merlotte's.

"Tara, you're late," Sam called from behind the bar as he saw her entering. "I need you back here."

Tara then realized what Pam had done. She turned to her and shook her head, unable to suppress an astonished grin.

"You are unbelievable," Tara uttered, her tongue rubbing against the inside of her cheek. She placed her hands on her hips. "You didn't need to do that," she said as her brow raised.

"I know," Pam retorted, tilting her head to the side and lifting her shoulders in a shrug. But what fun was being a vampire if she couldn't use her powers once in a while?

"Come on," Pam said, urging Tara forward. "You heard the man. Get to work," and she slapped Tara's behind.

Tara rolled her eyes and walked behind the counter, not even caring that people were beginning to stare at the two of them.

_Fuck 'em_, she thought, grinning as she saw Pam ease onto a stool right in front of her.

"Don't you have your own job to get to?" Tara asked teasingly.

"I shut down for the night," Pam replied.

Tara was about to ask her why, but she already knew the answer. And she smiled again. Her cheeks would soon start to ache with the amount she was beaming.

"So you're just gonna watch me work all night?" Tara asked skeptically.

"Why not?" Pam retorted. "I've got the best seat in the house."

Tara chortled. "You're ridiculous."

"You love it," Pam replied.

They were having so much fun. This was strangely enough the first time they ever truly flirted with each other. It was as if they were on a first date, as if they had just met. Tara could feel little bubbles of giddiness and nerves in her stomach as they continued their playful back and forth banter.

Pam sat there all night. On Tara's break, she ordered her a huge breakfast platter, with pancakes, eggs, sausage, grits, and home fries. Tara sat beside her and scarfed it down, her body desperately trying to make up for the past week of malnourishment. Pam chuckled as she watched her; Tara was practically inhaling her food.

When Tara was back on her feet and behind the counter working again, she felt even better than before, now energized not only from Pam's presence but from her meal. She received a few dirty looks from people at the bar, presumably whom she had belittled and told off the week earlier, but she didn't even care. She would serve customers' their drinks in a timely fashion, but then go right back to Pam and continue whatever conversation they were currently having.

The town already knew that Tara dated women, the gossip moving like wild fire when she was seen with Naomi a few weeks ago. But they also knew that Pam was a vampire. Together, Pam and Tara were an interracial human-vampire lesbian couple which was just a little too much for Bon Temps to handle. Especially when Pam leaned forward and grabbed a fistful of Tara's shirt, pulling her in for a kiss. It was light and sweet at first, but gradually the kiss deepened.

They made out, in their own little world, unfazed by the fact that the entire room was staring at them. Arlene had scampered over to the kitchen, hissing at Terry to look. Terry peeked over the ledge and nodded in a sort of "good for them" way, then returned to his cooking. Arlene turned back to him, stunned that he didn't care. Lafayette wasn't in that day, but Tara realized she didn't care if he saw them anyway.

Sam was in his office, and when he walked back out to the bar he saw Pam's tongue slipping inside Tara's mouth. This was the second time he had seen Tara kissing someone from over the counter. He felt a little stab of jealousy, but continued on his business, gingerly walking behind Tara to grab something from the cooler. He needed her to do something though, so he cleared his throat awkwardly and the two of them finally broke apart.

"Tara, um, could you take these boxes out back?" Sam asked, gesturing to a pile of empty cardboard boxes that were sitting in the corner. "Recycling's gonna be picked up first thing in the morning. I gotta leave the bar for a while."

Tara turned to look at him. "Sure," she replied, too content to even mind being interrupted.

"I'll help," Pam added with a smile, staring at Sam who tried not to roll his eyes.

"Oh and, Tara's going to be done for the night after this," she added.

"Her shift isn't over yet," Sam disputed.

"It is now," Pam retorted.

"We still got customers to serve," Sam declared, his voice louder now.

"You're a big boy. You can handle it," she said in her sweet and condescending demeanor. She then pulled out a fifty dollar bill and placed it on the counter. "That's for the excellent service. Please tell your bartender I was _extremel_y pleased with her." And with that, Pam moved behind the counter, patting him on the shoulder before reaching down and gathering a stack of boxes into her arms. She started to walk down the hall and Tara scooped up the other half, quickly following behind her.

They stepped outside and Tara placed the boxes down beside the dumpster and Pam did the same. Tara was about to turn to go back inside, but all of a sudden she was shoved against the side of the building. Pam had used vamp speed and was now pinning her against the wall.

Tara chuckled and she looked to see if anyone else was around. They were alone.

"You do realize everyone was staring at us when we were inside?" Tara asked as she took in Pam's hungry gaze.

"Were they?" Pam replied. "It's probably because you're so fucking hot," she continued, pulling Tara in forcefully by the hips so that they were pressed against each other.

"So I'm 'done for the night?' You tryin' to get me fired again?" Tara teased.

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Pam responded, and she tilted her head and leaned in to kiss her roughly.

Pam pushed Tara back into the wall and momentarily brushed her hand between her legs. The touch made Tara ache and she wanted her right then and there. But she broke away from her, panting lightly.

"We're gonna get arrested for public indecency if we don't stop soon," Tara breathed.

"Not so much the exhibitionist, huh?" Pam teased.

Pam backed off Tara but grabbed her hand as they walked over to Eric's car. Pam opened the door to the driver's seat and sat down without letting go of Tara. She reached under her seat and pulled a lever up, sliding the seat back and hastily pulling Tara inside the car. She eased her head down so she didn't bang it and drew her close until she was sitting on top of her.

Tara was a little caught off guard but she smirked and adjusted her legs to straddle Pam's lap.

"Damn, woman. Can't keep it in your pants, can you?" Tara mumbled.

"No," Pam retorted bluntly. She slammed the door shut and reached to the side of the seat, pulling another lever which lowered the seat down until it was lying 180 degrees flat.

Tara hovered over her and gazed down at Pam, whose lids were heavy with desire. Pam ran her hand down the front of Tara's body, rotating it as she arrived between Tara's legs. She rubbed her over her jeans and Tara closed her eyes, her lips parting slightly. She exhaled through her mouth and tried to stay still as she continued to hold herself up. Pam began to vary the speed and pressure of her fingers, causing Tara's head to drop and strands of hair to fall over her face. She was already so close and Pam knew it.

Pam unbuttoned and unzipped Tara's jeans with one hand, then slid her fingers underneath so she was rubbing Tara over her already damp boy shorts. Tara whined, now wanting Pam inside of her. She felt a slight burning in her arms from holding herself up, and beads of sweat began to form at the back of her neck. Pam watched her, fascinated by every twitch in Tara's face caused by the movements of her fingers. Just when she knew she was building her up to release, she would stop, and continued to do this over and over again, much to Tara's frustration.

When she finally slid two fingers inside of Tara, she smirked and felt her own arousal spike as Tara's mouth dropped open and she moaned. Pam moved her fingers inside of her at a leisurely pace, her palm brushing against her clit. Tara began to grind into Pam's hand, clamping onto her fingers and moving her hips faster.

Pam pushed Tara up with her free hand, sitting up as she reached for the lever again. The seat elevated and met her back. Tara was a little thrown off by the change; she was now sitting directly over Pam. But she continued to move her hips into Pam's hand, and her eyes squeezed shut as sweat began to form by her temples.

"Look at me," Pam ordered.

Tara eventually opened her eyes and looked at Pam, whose fangs promptly clicked.

"Come here," she breathed, and Tara obliged, bringing her face closer to Pam's.

Pam brought her free hand to Tara's jaw, turning her head to the side as she sank her fangs into her neck.

That was all Tara needed. She cried out, gripping Pam's shoulders as her legs quaked and her abs burned. She rocked over Pam's slick palm as Pam continued to work her slender fingers inside of her. Pam swallowed Tara's sweet, rich blood and felt a rush of ecstasy flood through her. She wrapped her free arm around Tara's lower back and held her firmly as she shuddered against her.

Pam swallowed one last mouthful of Tara's blood and moved her mouth away. She licked her lips and kept holding Tara, who was no longer trembling as intensely. Tara pressed her forehead against Pam's, still panting softly. She opened her eyes and Pam slid her wet fingers out of Tara, bringing them instead to her mouth. Pam sucked on them, and Tara watched as she tasted her. Tara felt a rush of dominance course through her, and she reached down to the side of the seat, pulling the lever and pushing Pam back down again.

Tara leaned down and met Pam's lips with her own, kissing her aggressively and reaching under her hips to find her skirt zipper. Pam helped by lifting them, and Tara pulled the article off her body along with the panties. Tara broke away from their kiss to tug at Pam's blouse, and Pam raised her arms as Tara pulled it off her body. Pam slipped her heels off and her bra was also removed swiftly. Pam sighed as she felt Tara's hands run down her naked body. Tara leaned down and pressed her lips to Pam's neck, then dragged her tongue down in between her breasts. She took one of her pink nipples between her teeth, flicking her tongue and then sucking as she took the other between her fingers. Pam moaned softly and hooked her legs around Tara's waist.

Tara didn't waste any more time. She drove three fingers inside of Pam and immediately curled them as she began to thrust up. Pam felt her voice seize in her throat and she squeezed her legs against Tara's waist. Tara fucked her harder and Pam began to spit out a string of expletives as she clung to her tighter. Tara changed the angle of her wrist and flexed her fingers, and Pam's legs extended and she accidentally stepped onto the horn. It blared obnoxiously, barely muting her cries and curses. Tara took one of Pam's hands and dragged it down so it was resting over her pelvis, urging her to touch herself. Pam eventually obliged, separating her pointer and middle finger and rubbing them up and down the sides of her clit.

Tara reached up and kneaded one of Pam's full breasts with her free hand. Pam's fingers were working in rhythm with Tara's, and she was completely focused on finding release. Tara then brought her hand up so it was resting lightly between Pam's shoulder and neck. Pam moved her other hand over Tara's, shifting it slightly so it was directly over her throat. She squeezed down on Tara's hand, giving her a nonverbal signal of what she wanted.

Tara was a little surprised, but she also knew this meant Pam trusted her wholeheartedly. She continued to drive her fingers inside of her, but as she looked into Pam's eyes she clamped down around her throat into a strong, immovable choke. She had no need to breathe, but Tara's grip was almost crushing and it hurt so good.

Tara was feeling a little inspired by this realization that Pam liked it rough. She removed her hand from her throat and slipped another digit inside Pam, who whimpered and accidentally kicked the car horn again. Tara slapped her, not too hard the first time, but then again sharply until Pam released her feet from the steering wheel. Tara then reached around the back of Pam's head, threading her fingers into her hair to grab her ponytail. She yanked Pam's head up and Pam moaned. Tara knew she was almost there, and she began to thrust into her so hard that it rocked Pam's whole body and caused her breasts to bounce.

"Fuck," Pam breathed, the hand between her legs pausing as she tried to get a hold of herself. Tara yanked her head harder.

"Don't you stop," Tara warned.

Pam resumed touching herself and she tried to keep her eyes open. Tara began to pull her fingers out all the way before driving them back in, finally pushing her over the edge. Pam's face contorted as she came, and she brought her free hand to the back of Tara's neck, pulling her in as her body began to shake and convulse. Tara let go of Pam's hair and slid her hand down to rest on her pale stomach. She leaned down and dragged her tongue over Pam's throat, moving it across her clavicle and then back up again. Pam's fingers finally stopped moving between her legs, and she held them steady for a moment before removing her hand. As she did, Tara grabbed her wrist and took two of her fingers into her mouth, staring at Pam as she reciprocated the action from before. Pam let her, but then pulled her fingers out and moved to rest her hand on Tara's cheek.

They gazed at each other for a while, their bodies both humming with pleasure.

"Well that was kinky," Pam finally said teasingly.

"It was _your_ idea," Tara retorted, her voice playful and childish.

"Mhm," Pam answered. "I liked it."

"I like you," Tara stated, giving her a small smile.

"I know you do," Pam replied, running her hand over Tara's hair and down the side of her face.

They shared a sweet, silent moment together, looking at the other with utter ease and bliss.

"Now would you please let me get dressed?" Pam asked. "Unless you want me to drive you home buck naked."

Tara chuckled. "I wouldn't mind that at all, actually."

"Shut up," Pam replied, lightly shoving her shoulder. "I'm serious."

Tara rolled her eyes and reached over to the floor behind them to grab her bra.

Pam eventually got dressed, which proved quite difficult in such a compact space. But there was no way Pam was getting changed outside of the car. The two of them had no idea if anyone had seen them, but thankfully now it was pitch black outside.

Tara helped her, and when she was fully clothed, Tara got out and walked around to the passenger's side. She sat back down again, closed the door, and buckled her seatbelt. Pam was checking her make up in the rear view mirror, and when she was done she looked at Tara.

"You ready?" she asked.

Tara paused. "I don't want to go home."

"What do you want to do then?" Pam inquired.

"I don't know. Wherever you're going," Tara answered.

Pam smiled and lifted an eyebrow. "As you wish."

And with that, she started the engine and the two of them drove off across the dusty, dirt road.


	9. Chapter 9

_**A/N TRIGGER WARNING**__. I mean it. PLEASE do not read this if you are sensitive to non-consensual sexual activity. My mind went to a very dark place and I had to follow through and write this, but I don't want this to negatively affect anyone, so please please please keep this in mind and proceed with caution. xoxo_

They sat in the car for over an hour. At times they spoke, mainly about irrelevant, mundane things, and other times they were quiet. Pam drove and Tara gazed outside into the still, dark night. They were so comfortable with each other now that there was no awkwardness. When a conversation would end they would return to peaceful silence.

Tara had no idea where Pam was taking her, but she was just glad to be in her presence. A warm elation swept through her when she felt Pam's hand clasp her own. They stayed like this for the remainder of the drive.

Pam eventually slowed down the car and parked. Tara realized they were at a beach. As she got out of the car, she looked around. It was past midnight, but there were a handful of lamps emitting dull, amber light from along the pier. A cool breeze moved through the air, rustling strands of her hair across her face. Tara's eyes scanned the entire length of the beach. No one was around. She followed Pam, who was edging closer to the shore. Pam stood right between where grass met sand. She sat down in the grass, but she slipped her shoes off and dug her toes into the cool, dry sand. She leaned back onto her hands and then looked at Tara, who was standing but soon moved to sit beside her.

Tara looked out. The ocean water was embracing the shore and then gradually retreating again. The sound of the current was faint, but coupled with the breeze was peaceful and soothing.

"This is so beautiful," she murmured.

Pam nodded. Tara laid her head against Pam's shoulder and closed her eyes.

"After the hurricane a few years ago, people stopped coming here as often," Pam stated. "The place was so damaged so it's understandable. But I still like to come here. Sometimes I need a break from Fangtasia."

Anyone else would have been shocked learning that Pam had such a sensitive side that felt so connected to nature. But not Tara.

"Thanks for bringing me," Tara said softly.

Pam tilted her head against Tara's. "You're welcome," she whispered.

They sat there in silence. After a while, they laid on their backs, gazing up at the sky. There weren't any stars visible, but a full moon glowed radiantly, illuminating the grey, puffy clouds surrounding it.

Eventually, Pam moved over top Tara. They kissed and touched for a while, fingers tangling through hair, tongues gently caressing lips. They made love, almost in total silence except for soft sighs and pants and moans that filled the air. When it was over, they lay back down again and Tara rested her head over Pam's stomach as her eyes slipped shut. Pam stroked her hair and continued staring into the sky.

This was happiness.

XXX

Pam knew it was almost dawn and that they had to get back. She woke Tara, who groggily stood up and gradually made her way to the car as Pam took her hand and guided her. They drove back to Bon Temps, and Tara's head fell to the side as she slept. Pam felt guilty for having had to disturb her. And she wished she could have brought her here when the sun was actually up, like normal people who go to the beach. Oh well.

Pam escorted Tara back to her apartment. She tucked her in, kissed her forehead, and headed for Shreveport. Tara nestled into her bed and dreamt of nothing but bliss.

XXX

They continued like this for a while. Weeks turned into months. Pam would visit Merlotte's when she could. And Tara would do the same, coming to Fangtasia when she got off work. They would spend the brief couple of hours before dawn together talking, watching movies, making love.

Pam told Tara about her human life. She told her about running the brothel. She told her about how she met Eric, how she was turned. She told her about the places all over the world they travelled to, about the adventures they would go on. She was very open, only omitting some of the more brutal stories out of shame.

Tara did the same. She told Pam about Lettie Mae. About her "exorcism." About her relationship with Sookie, which didn't even bother Pam. She listened intently to everything Tara said. And found herself beginning to understand and relate to the woman more than she could have ever imagined.

Then Tara told her about Franklin. Pam clenched her fists so tightly and her nails dug into her skin so hard that they pierced her skin and drew blood. The level of protectiveness she felt over Tara was so strong that she wanted to scream. Finding out what he had done to Tara filled her with so much rage that she surprised herself.

And then came the guilt. Hearing about Franklin raping Tara and then looking back on her own behavior, she realized that she wasn't any better.

She felt awful. It wasn't until now that she realized just how much she exploited her powers at the expense of humans. She wanted to speak up, to apologize, to do _something_, but she couldn't find the words.

Tara however, felt Pam pull away as she was speaking.

"What's wrong?" Tara asked.

Pam swallowed. _Say something, god dammit._

"Pam?" Tara said again.

"I um…" Pam began. "It's um… hard, hearing about this…" she mumbled.

Tara nodded. "I know. But I wanted to tell you," she explained. "Because I trust you and I wanted you to know."

"Why?" Pam countered. "How am I any different from him?" she declared, turning further away, unable to look at her.

Tara's eyes grew wide. "You are _nothing_ like him," she countered, her voice growing.

"Franklin was a _psychopath_," Tara added. "He didn't respect my needs, my free will, my anything. I had no control. It was the worst time in my life."

"Yes but…" Pam tried to continue. "That night… when I attacked you."

There were a _few_ nights Pam had attacked her, but Tara knew the specific one Pam was referencing now. She crawled over and kneeled in front of Pam, holding her face between her hands.

"Look at me," Tara ordered gently.

Pam was staring up at the ceiling and felt a blood tear slide down her cheek.

"Pam," Tara said again.

Pam eventually met her eyes. Tara's gaze was steady and sober.

"I forgive you," Tara said softly but deliberately. "I forgive you, all right?"

Tears began to fall freely from Pam's eyes.

"You are _nothing_ like him," Tara repeated. "You care about me. Genuinely. And you've changed. But you were angry. I understand. You felt lost without Eric. Your body was falling apart. You needed someone to lash out at."

"You didn't deserve that," Pam sniveled, ignoring the drops of blood falling off her chin and into her lap.

"Don't you see?" Tara retorted. "This right here. You are so much more than what you did. I _know_ you truly care about me. I know you would never do that again. And…" Tara wondered if she should continue. "And a part of me always did want you. Even then."

Pam heard this. It didn't make her feel entirely better, but it helped a tiny amount.

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

"I know," Tara answered. Her heart ached seeing Pam like this. She reached for Pam's hand and brought it to her chest. Her thumb rubbed over her knuckles.

"You mean so much to me," Tara declared. Pam was listening but still didn't seem convinced, her compunction outweighing any sort of rationality. What could Tara do to make her understand? She squeezed her hand firmly over Pam's.

"I love you," Tara said softly.

And she meant it.

Pam's face crumpled and her shoulders began to shake as she sobbed.

"Hey," Tara asserted, cradling Pam's face in her hands. "_I love you_," she said again.

Pam's eyes squeezed shut and another blood tear slid down her cheek.

"I love you too," she finally choked out.

And with that, Tara brought Pam's face against her chest. Pam cried into her, and Tara wrapped her arms around her and rested her cheek over the top of her head.

XXX

As emotional as that night was, it had been important. An invisible weight had been lifted from Pam's conscience. The two of them were closer than ever. And it felt so good to be able to say, "I love you" without fearing the other's reaction. And they were in love. Completely.

They continued their trips to the other's workplace/home. Tara would hang out at Fangtasia, even if it just meant watching Pam deal with budget issues or dissatisfied customers. And Pam would sit at the bar of Merlotte's and watch Tara work, sitting in silence with an adorable smile on her face. Tara knew PDA made some people uncomfortable, but they would sneak in little kisses when they could.

Lafayette found out they were together. He saw them from the kitchen and as shocked as he was, when he saw them beaming at each other he couldn't even protest. Seeing his cousin that happy made him happy too. And he selfishly knew this also meant that Eric and Pam wouldn't mess with him anymore, which was a huge relief.

Lafayette told Sookie, who was completely baffled, but also had so much of her own crap to deal with that she couldn't dwell on it. So for now, no one in Tara's life was giving her shit about them being together.

XXX

Tara was at Merlotte's working. It was late and the place was only half-full. Tara stood by the bar, bored. It had been a lonely few days; Pam had gone out looking for Eric but promised she wouldn't be away for more than a week. Still, she was the best part of Tara's life right now, and not getting to see her for even an hour each night proved to be almost unbearable.

The hours passed and eventually everyone in Merlotte's was gone. Tara was in charge of locking up; Sam liked to visit Luna and Emma as much as he could and wasn't there as often anymore. But Tara didn't mind staying late, because she always ended around the same time that Fangtasia closed.

Tara tied a knot in a trash bag and grabbed another, slinging them over her shoulder and walking down the hallway to the back. She walked outside and threw them into the dumpster, but just as she began to go back inside, someone called out to her.

"HEY!" a man's voice hollered.

Tara turned and saw a young redneck in a plaid shirt and red baseball cap edging towards her. He had scruff around his face and his beer gut was protruding out of the bottom of his shirt. Two of his buddies were walking close behind him.

His expression was threatening, but Tara tried not to expect the worst.

"I'm sorry, Merlotte's is closed," she uttered.

"Where's your girlfriend?" the man asked.

"Yeah!" another of the guys yelled out. "Where's that dead fanger slut of yours? Haven't seen her 'round in a while."

Tara tried to suppress her fear. She looked at the man closest to her.

"What do you want?" she asked, clenching her jaw.

The man walked right up to her, so close that his putrid, alcohol-ridden breath blew in Tara's face. "I wanna know who in the hell you think you are, you fucking nigger bitch," he murmured threateningly.

Tara was beginning to panic. She was alone, it was dark, and she was unarmed and outnumbered.

_Pam, _she thought. _Please, I need you. Now. Please. Hurry._

Tara wished Pam had Sookie's abilities, that she would somehow be able to hear this. But what she didn't realize is that Pam in a way did.

The vampire was in Alabama, having been scouring what felt like the entire country trying to get some answers about where Eric might be. But in that moment, through her blood, she sensed Tara's fear. She paused and stood still, fully tapping into Tara's emotions and carefully trying to gauge if this was just a temporary rush of fear or if Tara was in some trouble.

"Answer me!" the man hollered, shoving Tara back into the wall. Tara responded by punching him in the jaw and kicking him in the stomach. She tried to run away, but his two friends blocked her path.

Pam's eyes suddenly widened. She took off, vamp speeding as fast as she possibly could.

The redneck was keeled over, trying to catch his breath. After a moment, he walked back over to Tara, grabbing her by the throat and pushing her into the wall again. The man tightened his grip around Tara's throat, restricting most of her airflow.

"Do you know how fucking _sick_ it is to watch you over and over again with that dead fucking dyke as she shoves her tongue down your throat in front of everyone? It's _disgusting_," the man spat out, pulling Tara's face forward and slamming her head back into the wall.

Tara knew this was the end.

"Who do you think you are?!" he continued, his voice low and rough. "Huh?!" The man let go of Tara's throat and grabbed her jaw, forcefully yanking her head forward and making her look at him.

"You're going to hell," he snarled. "Ain't that right?" he continued, and waited a moment for an answer.

"I said, AIN'T THAT RIGHT?" he bellowed.

Tara didn't speak. She fought back tears as she felt an overwhelming need to vomit.

"Make her talk," one of his friends behind him demanded.

The man thought about this and smirked. After a moment, he reached down and began to unzip his pants.

Tara panicked and tried to escape from the wall, but his friends were right there and held her in place.

_This is not happening, this is not happening, this is not happening, _Tara repeated in her head as every ounce of everything wonderful she ever felt rushed out of her. She would rather die. She wanted to die. Why couldn't they just kill her?

Pam was sprinting as fast as she could, trying to retain her composure as she felt Tara's fear grow into complete and utter terror.

"How 'bout I show you what you been missin', you nasty fang banging _bitch_," the man growled.

He reached out and unbuttoned Tara's jeans, yanking them down hard with her underwear. Tara screamed for help, but one of his friends covered her mouth while they both kept her pinned against the wall.

Pam was petrified and tried to will her legs to move faster. She had never felt such complete, paralyzing dread inside her before.

The man's two friends reached down and grabbed the inside of each of Tara's legs, lifting her and holding them apart. Tears were streaming down Tara's face now and she squeezed her eyes shut. She was not religious but she began to silently and desperately pray to herself.

And then it happened. She felt a searing pain rip through her as she was held there trapped and completely helpless. The man shoved himself roughly inside of her as one friend grinned and the other waited impatiently for his turn.

The man continued thrusting into her and Tara suddenly felt like she was outside of her body. Perhaps she was in shock. Perhaps one person can only take so much trauma.

And then, it was over. The man backed off and pulled his pants up. His friends let go of Tara, who couldn't find her feet and fell to the ground, landing in a thud onto her tailbone. The man zipped up his pants and spat at her.

"Hope that teaches you a lesson. I don't wanna ever see you with that-"

But the man was interrupted. Pam had ripped out his throat. The man's eyes grew wide as his blood sprayed out, gurgling out of his mouth, and he fell to his knees and then to the ground.

His two friends were completely stunned and began to sprint away. Pam turned to catch them, but then she heard the tiniest of a sigh.

Pam turned and saw Tara crumpled against the wall. She was too late.

An icy dread flooded through her. She felt like a stake had just been sharply stabbed into her heart. She could barely look. Tara was curled up on her side, her pants and underwear down her legs. Her face was damp from tears. She was hardly breathing, only sharp, tiny inhales and exhales emitting from her body.

Pam walked over to her and kneeled. She gently lifted Tara's upper body into her lap. Tara was expressionless. She looked completely empty. She looked like a corpse. Tears began to fall from Pam's eyes, and as she looked down she saw blood between Tara's legs and on the insides of her thighs. Pam screamed and broke down into sobs. She clung to Tara, wailing as her whole body shook.

"I'm sorry," she cried. "I'm sorry."


	10. Chapter 10

_**A/N** Kinda making this up as I go along. Hope I'm doing it justice. xo._

Pam sat there helplessly. She couldn't stop sobbing. But she eventually brought her wrist to her mouth, puncturing the skin with her fangs and moving to Tara's mouth.

Tara was unresponsive, and Pam's blood was beginning to drip down her chin and into Tara's lap.

"Tara, please drink," Pam cried.

Tara didn't move. Pam kept weeping, but she pulled Tara up a little so she was slumped higher against her.

"Tara," Pam blubbered. She pressed her bleeding wrist harder against Tara's lips.

"God dammit Tara, _drink_," Pam bawled. In a final act of desperation, she reached her other hand around and pulled Tara's mouth open and tilted her head back slightly. Drops of blood fell into Tara's mouth, but at a very slow pace. Pam's wrist kept healing, but she would bite the area over and over again. Every time she healed she tore into her skin more viciously and unapologetically.

After a while of this, Pam closed Tara's mouth and saw that she eventually swallowed. Pam exhaled out of relief and she began to calm down. Her body only convulsed periodically now as she held in her cries, whimpering softly. She reached down and slid Tara's underwear up. Her cheek rested against the top of Tara's head and she turned her face to the side, unable to look. She then pulled Tara's pants up but her hands were trembling too much to button them. She could have stayed there crying all night, but she willed herself to stand. She lifted Tara to standing and then reached under her knees with one arm and under her back with the other. She picked her up, not even bothering to do something with the dead body on the ground as she carried Tara and vamp sped to Fangtasia.

XXX

When they arrived, Pam had to set Tara down as she unlocked the door with one hand. She picked Tara up again and pushed the door open. As she walked inside, the door automatically closed behind them.

Pam made her way through the empty club. She opened the door to the bathroom and gently sat Tara down over the covered toilet seat. She moved to the shower and turned on the water. She then walked back to Tara and knelt in front of her. She rested her hands lightly on her thighs and looked at her.

Tara was staring vacantly at the floor. Pam gently brought her hand to Tara's cheek. Tara flinched a little, but her expression remained blank. Pam had never felt so much agony before in her life. But she tried to stay strong, because she knew she had to. She moved her hands to the hem of Tara's shirt, and she slowly drew it up her body. She had to hold Tara's arms in the air as she pulled her shirt off. She reached around and unclasped Tara's bra, dragging the straps down her arms.

Pam wrapped an arm around Tara's lower back. She then slowly lifted Tara to her feet.

"Tara, baby, I need you to stand. Can you do that?" Pam asked tenderly.

Tara didn't say anything, but when Pam let go of her she remained standing. Pam gently pulled Tara's pants and underwear down to the ground. When Pam stood back up again, she saw that tears were slowly falling down Tara's cheeks. She stood there completely exposed, and Pam couldn't help but start crying again too. She set Tara down again, wiping her eyes with the back of her wrist.

"I'll be right back," she sniffed, and walked out the room.

A few moments later she returned, holding a chair. She moved to the shower and set the chair down right under the stream of water. Pam adjusted the temperature, not sure what degree was comfortable for humans but she took her best guess. She slipped off her shoes and then walked back to Tara. She bent down and scooped her up to standing, then gradually guided her over to the shower. They stepped inside, and Pam sat Tara down in the chair and knelt in front of her. The water hit Tara's chest and it startled her.

"Is it too hot?" Pam asked with concern. "Too cold?"

Tara was silent. Pam didn't know what to do. She looked at Tara for a while, whose expression was still empty as she stared ahead at the wall. Pam looked down and shut her eyes for a moment, taking in a few unneeded breaths. She then grabbed a washcloth from the edge of the shower and held it under the water for a moment. She grabbed a bottle from ledge and squeezed some soap onto the washcloth. She brought it to Tara's chest, wiping down her neck and her arms. She ran the cloth down Tara's stomach and the tops of her thighs. She washed her calves and feet and then stood up.

"I need you to stand again," Pam said softly, lifting Tara up again. This time, Tara's legs buckled and Pam reached an arm around her waist to hold her still. Pam was beginning to become soaked as she stood there in her clothes but she didn't care. She pushed the chair closer to the shower's wall with the bottom of her foot and guided Tara closer to the streaming water so it was now falling onto her face. Tara shut her eyes and Pam wiped Tara's face with her hands, washing away her dried tears.

She suddenly had déjà vu, remembering the last time they were in the shower and how completely different it had been. Her heart broke when she picked up the wash cloth and moved to wash in between Tara's legs. What used to be an area of pleasure and trust was now dirty, a place of shame and pain and suffering. Pam tried to be as gentle as possible, but she still had to apply some pressure to clean her. Tara's eyes squeezed shut as Pam washed her. Pam's hand rubbed up and down against her and then moved to the insides of her thighs. The blood on Tara's skin eventually melted away, joining the streams of water that ran down her legs and escaped into the drain. Tara had physically healed down there but even Pam's tender touch was too much. She couldn't take it anymore and slid down Pam's front and onto the seat. She held there for a few moments completely still. But then her face crumpled and she began to cry. Pam knelt down in front of her, grabbing her hands as she watched her, her heart completely shattered. She eventually pulled Tara off the chair and down to the floor. She guided her into her lap and cradled her like a child.

Tara buried her face into the side of Pam's neck and Pam held her tightly as she sobbed into her. Her body was shook intensely and Pam brought her hand to the back of Tara's head, stroking her hair and slowly rocking her back and forth.

They stayed like this for a while. The water from the shower eventually became cold. When Tara finally calmed down, Pam lifted her up again and guided her out of the shower. She pulled a long, soft robe around her and carried her down to the basement. She cursed herself for not having a bed, but she also didn't want to take Tara back to her place and leave her alone. So she laid Tara down into her pink coffin, leaving the lid open. She knew it left no room to move around, and a coffin was not something one would want to wake up in, but Pam had no other option. She went upstairs briefly to change her clothes and clean her face of the dried blood tears that crusted her skin. She then headed to the bar to get a glass of water for Tara and a Tru Blood for herself, but when she walked out she gasped.

There standing before her was her maker. Eric had his hands in his pockets and he took in Pam's completely stunned expression as he stood there in silence.

"Er-Eric," she choked out.

Eric remained quiet but moved towards her.

"You're here," Pam stated dumbly, "Wh-where were you? What were you do-"

But Eric silenced her, bringing his finger over her lips. She was relieved to see they were already back to normal, that their previous falling out was no longer relevant.

"Don't worry about that," he said calmly. "I came to see you. What's happened? I've never felt such pain from you before."

Pam swallowed. "I…"

She didn't know where to begin. But she eventually spoke.

"Tara… you know, um… Sookie's friend?"

Eric nodded. He knew who she was.

"Did she hurt you?" he asked.

"No!" Pam answered quickly. "No," she said softer. "She…"

Eric genuinely didn't know. One of the last times he saw Tara, the girl was about to stake him.

"I'm with her," Pam finally got out. "I have been… since you've been gone."

Eric might have been surprised, but his face didn't show it at all.

"And then tonight," Pam croaked out. "She… I-I was out looking for you, and then she was alone and…"

Pam didn't want to talk anymore. She felt like she had cried out every ounce of blood in her body, but apparently there were still more tears to be shed. She began to weep and tried to continue.

"And there were these men, and they…"

Pam couldn't go on. But Eric understood. He moved to embrace her, and Pam clung to him helplessly. She had longed for the night her maker would return to her, and as comforting as it was being held by him, it didn't relieve her torment.

"You need to rest," Eric said steadily.

"I'm not tired," Pam whimpered.

"Pamela," Eric warned. "She's safe here," he continued. "It's almost dawn. You need to sleep."

Pam held him tighter, silently obeying. Eric bent down and kissed the top of her head. She felt him pull away but she suddenly had a barrage of questions.

"Where were you?" she asked. "Why didn't you call? Why did you just leave without-"

"Not now," Eric answered evenly. "That's not important right now. Go to sleep."

Pam reluctantly nodded. Eric kissed her again and watched her walk away. Pam poured a glass of water and grabbed a bottle of Tru Blood before she descended the stairs. She never drank it though. She dragged a spare coffin next to where Tara slept, and she crawled inside. She stared at her, forcing herself to remain awake. After a while, she felt blood begin to trickle down her ears and nose. Finally, she grew so exhausted that her eyes slipped shut and she fell asleep.

XXX

The next few weeks were very difficult. Pam had called Merlotte's, not giving Sam much of an explanation but just said Tara couldn't work there anymore. Sam was concerned and asked why, but all Pam said was that something happened and repeated that she was not going to work there anymore. Thankfully, Eric had taken care of the dead body and cleaned up the area the night he returned.

Tara hadn't left Fangtasia once. Pam had bought a small mattress and made a makeshift bed for her in the basement. Lafayette and Sookie had no idea where she was; Tara wouldn't pick up her phone. And Pam couldn't bear to tell anyone what happened because she blamed herself. How could she have been so stupid to have shown such obvious affection for Tara out in the open like that? Especially considering where they lived. Pam never worried about herself; she could sense danger a mile away, she was stronger and faster than any human. But Tara… as much of a fighter as she was, Pam looked back on it all and was disgusted at herself for leaving her alone like that. She was not thinking.

In her human life, a number of her girls had gone through what Tara had. Most of the customers she encountered were vile, base people with little respect or regard for women. Pam herself had been through several similar experiences. But nothing compared to this. Nothing had ever devastated her like this before.

Now that Eric was back, he was in charge of Fangtasia again, which allowed Pam to spend most of her time with Tara. Nothing much happened though. In the beginning, Tara was completely silent. She didn't want to be touched by anyone. She eventually began to speak in small phrases, thanking Pam for the food she brought her, or saying things like "good night" or "okay" softly under her breath.

She would sit in the basement and read. That's all she would do. Pam would bring her books, each time wishing Tara would speak a little more, so that they could actually have a conversation.

But she gave Tara her space. Sometimes she would just sit there in silence, watching her. Eventually, Tara let Pam touch her. They would sit upstairs on the couch together, Tara's back against Pam's chest. On really good days, Tara let Pam kiss her softly. After a couple weeks, Tara felt comfortable enough to let Pam's hands move lower than her shoulders.

One night, they tried to make love. Pam moved at a snail's pace, not wanting to do anything wrong, not wanting to touch her in the wrong way. They laid there kissing for a while, and Pam barely moved her hands past Tara's torso. They got undressed very gradually, and everything was fine until it was time for Tara's pants to come off. Tara seized up, almost beginning to hyperventilate as soon as she felt a hand on her pelvis. Pam immediately stopped. Tara covered her face with her hands, and Pam watched her feebly.

They tried again periodically. Pam was more reluctant than Tara; it killed her to think her touch might cause her any pain. But Tara wanted to keep trying. She missed Pam desperately, but as much as she wanted to, a certain touch or moment would bring her back, and she would recoil. Pam realized she could never surprise or sneak up on her again. She wondered if they would ever be able to make love again. If Tara would ever laugh again. If they could ever be like they were before. She tried to have faith, but it was so damn hard.

Eric saw Pam's misery. He didn't like it, but he also didn't bring it up. Pam was in no state to be rational. He let her spend half her nights down in the basement, hopelessly pining away, praying that the old Tara would come back. He would hear her cry herself to sleep in her coffin night after night. One evening though, he grew tired of it.

XXX

Pam was out, having been sent on an errand. Fangtasia had just opened and was not very crowded at the moment. Eric took this opportunity to walk into the office where Tara was sitting on the couch reading.

Tara looked up at him. Things had been better between the two of them. Yes, he had tried to kill her once, but over the past few weeks he had acted like a father to her. He was taking care of her apartment's rent, even though she hadn't been there in months. He brought her tea occasionally, and would engage in brief conversations about the novels she was reading. Tara was polite in the beginning, merely replying so as not to be rude. But she eventually began to enjoy their discussions, and found herself growing to trust the vampire quite a lot.

Eric sat down next to her.

"How are you?" he asked softly.

Tara nodded, although not very convincingly. Eric tapped into his bond with Pam for a moment, ensuring that she was still away. He then brought his hand to Tara's chin, turning her head towards him and making eye contact with her.

"Tara," he said steadily. Tara felt herself unable to look away. Eric held there for a moment, and then began to speak.

"You will remember nothing of that night," Eric said calmly. "Those men never attacked you. You were never harmed. You decided to stay here with us as a way to spend more time with Pam, that is all. Do you understand?"

Tara nodded. Eric rubbed his thumb over her cheek.

"Good," he said, and with that, he stood up, breaking their eye contact.

Tara sat there for a moment, reacquainting herself with her environment. She looked up at Eric, who smiled at her.

"How are you?" Eric asked again.

Tara checked in with herself.

"Good," she said, and she smiled back at him.

XXX

Pam was back at Fangtasia. The club was a little busier now, and Eric sat quietly in his throne. When he saw Pam arrive, he summoned her, and she walked over and stood in front of him.

"What is it?" Pam asked.

"It's Tara..." Eric began, and was about to ask her to go downstairs with him so they could speak in private.

But Pam was already scurrying away, expecting the worst.

"Pamela!" Eric called out. But she ignored him.

Pam walked into the office and saw Tara reading on the couch. She looked fine, and Pam felt a flood of relief rush through her.

Tara looked up and saw her. She smiled.

"Hey," Tara said, grinning wider.

Pam was confused.

"Hi," she replied softly.

Pam held there for a while, immobile.

"Why are you standing over there like that?" Tara finally asked. "Come here."

Pam cautiously walked towards Tara. Her brow was furrowed slightly but she tried not to show her puzzlement.

Tara reached her arm up and grabbed Pam around the waist. She brought her closer and leaned forward to kiss her. She pulled on Pam harder until the vampire was kneeling in between Tara's legs on the couch. Tara's hands moved to the back of her neck, then roamed down her front.

Pam kissed her back with reservation. She was now completely bewildered. Was this just a really, really, _really_ good day for Tara?

But then Tara grabbed Pam's hands and dragged them all the way down her body. Tara sighed and slipped her tongue inside Pam's mouth.

Pam jerked back. Tara was startled, and looked at Pam who seemed entirely disconcerted. Before Tara could say a word, Pam was out the door.

She was about to march over to Eric's throne, but saw he wasn't sitting in it anymore. She looked around the room, frantically searching from him.

"Pam," Eric called.

Pam turned around. Eric was standing by the staircase to the basement. She walked towards him and followed him down the stairs.

As soon as they stopped, Pam exploded.

"What did you do to her?" she demanded.

"I glamored her," Eric answered plainly.

"Why would you do that?!" Pam exclaimed.

"Do I really need to answer that?" Eric replied.

"Don't you think I haven't thought about that?" Pam retorted. "Don't you think I've wanted to do that every single night since it happened?"

It was true. Pam had even asked Tara if she could, but she refused. Tara didn't even know why. She wanted the memories out of her more than anything. But perhaps it was the thought that it was cheating, that it wasn't natural to suddenly have something erased from you permanently. Because she knew no one else who had gone through this had that privilege. Perhaps that was why, because Tara just couldn't bring herself to ask Pam to do it.

And now that it was done, Pam couldn't handle it.

"And how am _I _supposed to feel now?" Pam cried. "_I_ can't be glamored. _I_ can't forget!" she blared, tears forming in her eyes and threatening to spill out.

"Were you really going to let her live her life like she was?" Eric stated calmly. "She was forever changed, you know that."

Pam knew he was right. But she was also so upset at the fact that he didn't even warn or prepare her.

"How am I supposed to be now?" Pam insisted. "I can't pretend like it didn't happen!"

"It will get easier with time," Eric responded. "It'll soon be as if it none of it ever happened. Go back to her. _Go look_. She's smiling for the first time in months."

Pam let this register for a moment. She didn't believe him entirely, that she could eventually forget about what happened, that they could return to how they were. But she remembered the image of Tara beaming at her, and the feeling of her longing touch again after so long. Maybe he was right.

Pam swallowed and Eric moved closer and kissed her on the cheek.

"Go on," he urged.

Pam watched him walk away. She stood there for a while, and then climbed the stairs and walked to the office. She ran the pads of her fingers under her eyes to make sure there was no blood on her face.

Pam pushed the door open. Tara was still sitting there.

"Where did you go?" Tara asked with confusion.

"Nowhere," Pam replied calmly. "I'm here."

She walked over to Tara, kneeling into the cushions like before. She felt Tara's hands slide up the inside of her shirt. Her hands were so warm, and Pam hadn't been touched like this in months. Tara lifted her shirt up slightly and moved closer to place soft kisses on her pale stomach. Pam tried not to cry as she gave in to Tara's touch. She was still in such disbelief. Tara reached up and pulled her down, moving her so that her back was on the couch and Tara was now hovering over her.

"How are you?" Tara asked as she paused for a moment.

Pam stayed quiet for a moment, but then she spoke.

"I'm good," she whispered shakily.

Tara smiled and leaned down, beginning to kiss her neck. Pam then felt a blood tear slide down her cheek. Whether it was from shock or from joy, she did not know.


	11. Chapter 11

_**A/N** Sorry for the wait. Hope you enjoy the chapter; would love to hear your comments. xoxo_

Pam lay there, wanting to touch Tara back, but she was really struggling. She had conditioned herself over the past few months to ignore her impulses and to respect Tara's boundaries; she couldn't bring herself to fully reciprocate. She tentatively brought her hands to Tara's lower back and slowly moved them up her body. Her eyes slipped shut when she felt Tara's tongue drag across her neck. She couldn't believe this was happening. Was this okay? Pam didn't know how to be. They had done this so many times before, but it felt different now. She didn't feel right to carry on as if the past few months had never happened. She had learned not to put her hands on specific areas of Tara's body, to only move at a certain speed, to forget about her own needs and desires. She felt like she needed permission to touch Tara anywhere at all.

Tara sensed this hesitation and stopped to look at Pam. When she did, she saw the scarlet that stained her cheek.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Tara asked with concern.

Pam brought her hand to her face and wiped her cheek with her fingers.

"Nothing," Pam replied unconvincingly, avoiding Tara's gaze. She was quiet for a moment. "I just missed you," she added softly.

Tara smiled. "It's not like I've been away," she chuckled. "I practically live here now. You're not sick of me already?" she teased, raising her eyebrows.

Pam shook her head. "No," she said faintly. "I'll never get sick of you," she mumbled.

Tara rolled her eyes and laughed again. "Yeah, you say that now," and she leaned down and kissed her neck again.

Tara brought her hands to Pam's hips and rubbed her thumbs over the blonde's hipbones. As she did, the realization that the two of them hadn't been intimate in months sunk in. Why was this? They used to make love every other night at least. Tara looked back, but she couldn't even remember them fighting once. What happened? What could have caused this change? But she pushed these thoughts away as she began to play with the seam of Pam's pants.

Pam's desire was skyrocketing and she tried to stop worrying. It felt so good to feel Tara against her; she could even sense her heavy arousal through her blood, which was exhilarating. Tara ran her hands up and down Pam's torso, and then along the insides of her thighs as she gently pushed her legs apart. Tara leaned down and pressed her mouth hard against Pam's, biting her lower lip and then immediately pulling away, letting her teeth drag against her lower lip. She bent down and kissed her again, and Pam felt it was okay to move her hands underneath Tara's shirt. She rested them against Tara's soft, warm skin and she sighed. Oh, how she missed this.

Tara was getting impatient and she began to tug at Pam's shirt. Pam raised her arms and Tara pulled it off. She then bent down and grazed her teeth over the satin of Pam's bra, biting down while she brushed her hand between her legs. Pam was becoming overwhelmed. She gripped Tara harder, tempted to move her hands lower but she resisted.

Tara pulled Pam's bra off and buried her face in between her breasts. Pam smelled so good and Tara nuzzled her nose closer as she pulled at her pants. Pam was so turned on now that she automatically lifted her hips, and Tara yanked them down and sat up for a moment to drag them off completely. She leaned down again and brought her hand in between Pam's legs. She began to rub her over her underwear and it felt so good that Pam's fangs clicked immediately.

Pam had hardly touched herself over the past few months. When she did on occasion- simply out of physical need for release- she would often cry or hate herself when it was over. She felt lonely and pathetic for having to do it, and it just made her miss Tara more.

But now Tara was here, and she was the one pushing her to the edge. Tara slipped her fingers inside Pam's panties and began to move her fingers up and down over her bundle of nerves. After just a few moments Pam was tensing as she came. She moaned softly and wrapped her arms tighter around Tara, pulling her closer and pressing her face into the side of her neck. Tara's fingers paused for a brief moment, but then resumed stroking her. Pam whimpered as she came again, and Tara was almost amused at how easy it was. But she felt her own need throbbing between her legs and she was beginning to feel sweat form on her back and the nape of her neck.

She sat up and pulled off her shirt. Pam watched her and she hesitantly brought her hands to rest on Tara's hips. Pam really did love looking at her. Tara had an athlete's body, and Pam could admire it all night long. She slowly ran her hands up and down the smooth, dark planes of her stomach, wanting to move them lower but finding herself unable to.

Tara grabbed the outsides of Pam's legs and drew them together as she straddled her. She moved up slightly so that she was sitting over Pam's pelvis. She grabbed Pam's hands and brought them to her hips again as she began rocking into her. She lowered her head and closed her eyes. Strands of hair fell across her face as she grinded her hips.

Pam felt guilty as she lay there. She was barely touching her back. Tara looked incredibly sexy but all she could do was passively watch. Tara moaned, both out of pleasure and out of frustration. It wasn't enough. She paused her movements for a moment, reaching down to swiftly unbutton and unzip her jeans.

Pam swallowed as she saw this. Something the two of them struggled to accomplish and move past for months was now nothing for Tara. She should have been proud or relieved, yet she just watched in disbelief. Everything had changed so abruptly and Pam couldn't adjust to it so fast.

Tara continued rocking against her and grabbed Pam's hand, placing it against her stomach. She was silently asking to be touched. Pam clenched her jaw and tried to get a grip. What was her problem? Why couldn't she just get over this? She looked at Tara's hips and then her eyes moved lower. She stared at the apex of her thighs. All she could think about was how someone had violated her there- more than once even- how for the longest time that area was not to be touched. How doing so would send Tara spiraling back to that low, terrible, frightening place.

Pam knew it was okay now, but her hand lingered, refusing to budge any lower. Tara eventually pushed Pam's hand down herself, guiding it inside her damp underwear. She moaned as she felt Pam's slender fingers brush against her, but Pam freaked out and removed her hand.

Tara opened her eyes.

"What is it?" Tara asked as her brow furrowed.

Pam gritted her teeth and tried to act cool. "Nothing," she stammered. "Sorry."

"Do you not want to touch me?" Tara questioned.

"No!" Pam exclaimed. "I mean, yes, I do. I…. I'm sorry," she breathed. She knew she was digging herself a hole. "I want to…"

"Then what's stopping you?" Tara retorted.

"Nothing…" Pam replied, her voice shaking.

Tara didn't believe her. As she sat on top of Pam, who was completely failing to look unflustered, she began to feel insecure. The thought that Pam was no longer attracted to her was beginning to form in her mind. She tried to move off of her, but Pam held her in place.

"No, please stay," Pam urged.

"Why?" Tara said.

"Because I want you to," Pam insisted.

Tara was still skeptical but she didn't move.

"Come here," Pam requested. "_Please_," she implored, and Tara reluctantly brought her face closer to Pam's.

Pam kissed her and ran her hands up and down her back. Tara eventually relaxed and kissed her back. She brought her hands to Pam's face, tilting her head and deepening the kiss. After a while, Pam knew she had to do something. She dragged her hand over Tara's abs and held it there. She told herself that she would move it momentarily, that everything would be fine. But every time she started to slip her hand inside Tara's jeans, she stopped and moved back up. She still didn't feel right about this, no matter how hard she tried. After a while, Tara broke away and stopped moving.

"What the fuck, Pam?"

Tara's tone was biting and it startled Pam. She wanted to speak but didn't know what to say.

"I-I'm sorry," Pam stammered. "Um…"

"Do I repulse you that much?" Tara demanded as she got off of her and stood up.

"No!" Pam protested, sitting up. "Tara, I'm sorry. I just-"

"You just what?" Tara countered.

"I…" Pam had no idea how to explain. How could she? She couldn't even think of a decent lie.

Tara stood there, waiting for an answer, but she never got one. She reached down and grabbed her shirt, pulling it on and starting to walk away.

"Wait! Where are you going?" Pam asked.

"For a walk," Tara responded blankly.

"I'll come with you," Pam said, searching for her bra.

"Don't," Tara uttered.

"It's not safe," Pam warned, trying not to sound paranoid. "To be walking alone at night."

Tara stared at her. She sounded like her mother.

"What is with you?" Tara pressed.

"Nothing," Pam spluttered. "Just stay here, please. Or let me come with you," she pleaded.

"No thanks," Tara rebutted, and she opened the door and walked out.

"Tara!" Pam called out. But she was gone.

Pam looked down at the floor. She felt awful. And she wondered if she should go after her.

_No. She'll be fine. Don't make it worse._

Pam leaned back against the couch, bringing her knees up and hugging them. She had no idea what to do. She couldn't change how she felt, and she couldn't tell Tara the truth. Maybe she just needed time. Maybe she should have stopped Tara at the beginning. Because this was the second time Pam had let Tara touch her without reciprocating, and without offering the slightest of an explanation. It made her seem like a selfish, cryptic asshole.

Pam got dressed. There were too many thoughts racing through her head and she couldn't deal with it. She felt like kicking Eric, whom she wanted to blame for starting all this, but she also knew that where she and Tara were now was significantly better than where they were yesterday, or had been for a while. As crappy as it was to be yelled at by her, anger was better than no emotion at all. Especially because being mad meant that Tara cared. Pam sighed and wondered how she was going to fix all of this.

XXX

Two hours later, Tara was back. Fangtasia was closed now, and the place was eerily quiet. Tara was annoyed that she and Pam slept in the same room, which meant she couldn't avoid her. But she went downstairs anyway, well aware that the vampire was lying there in her coffin.

Pam was awake, and as soon as she heard Tara descending the stairs she had to resist lurching up to sitting to see her.

Tara kneeled onto her bed, then lay on her back and pulled the covers up over her. She stared at the ceiling in silence.

Pam waited for a while, unsure of what to do. But she knew she wouldn't be able to fall asleep until they talked.

"Tara?" Pam said faintly.

Tara didn't speak for a few moments. But she didn't want to be rude.

"Yeah," she replied, her voice low and breathy.

"Can I come over there?" Pam asked tentatively.

Tara couldn't stay mad at her very long.

"Okay," she answered.

Pam got out of her coffin and walked over to her. She lay down beside her and they stayed quiet for a while.

"I'm sorry about earlier," Pam eventually said.

Tara didn't know how to respond. She rubbed her feet together and pushed the covers down a little.

"I don't understand you," Tara finally stated. "Did I do something?" she inquired flatly.

"_No_," Pam refuted, and she turned onto her side so she was facing Tara. "It's just that..."

Pam desperately tried to think of how to convey her feelings without revealing too much. And then she had an idea.

"Do you remember a few months ago, when you told me about that vampire who... who kidnapped you? And who…" Pam couldn't say the word.

Tara was quiet for a moment. "Franklin," she uttered.

"Yeah," Pam responded. "I've been thinking about that a lot lately."

"Why?" Tara asked.

"I don't know," Pam answered. "But sometimes I wonder… if it still affects you. And I… I don't ever want to make it worse."

"How would you make it worse?" Tara queried. "And why are you suddenly thinking about this now?"

Tara then had a thought.

"Is this why we haven't… in so long?" she asked.

As Pam heard this, she realized that Eric hadn't erased everything in Tara's mind from the past few months, just the incident itself.

"Yeah," she replied faintly.

Tara turned on her side so that she was facing Pam.

"Okay. Well I need you to tell me these things earlier, all right? I don't like it when you keep things from me," Tara stated gently, gazing at her from her pillow.

Pam felt a stab of guilt as she heard this. If Tara only knew what else she was keeping from her...

Tara sat up and slid closer to Pam. She gently pushed Pam onto her back and sat over her thighs.

"I'm doing okay," Tara asserted as she looked down at her. She grabbed Pam's hands and intertwined their fingers. "You don't need to worry," she murmured gently, then leaned down to kiss her.

Pam closed her eyes as Tara brushed their lips together. After a few moments, Tara lifted her head and sat up again.

"Sure, I still get nightmares sometimes," she admitted. "But who doesn't?" She squeezed Pam's hands. "But I don't want you ever thinking that you make it worse, okay? You make everything better."

Pam tried to smile. Tara leaned down and pressed their foreheads together. "But we don't have to do anything if you don't feel ready."

Then Tara snorted. "Trust me, I've gone for many, many months without getting laid before," she joked.

Pam smiled. She stroked Tara's knuckles with her thumb.

"Sorry I'm so crazy," she sighed.

Tara chuckled as she lifted her head. "Oh, no. You are not even close to half the shit that has happened to me in my lifetime."

Tara's tone was light and teasing, but her words still rang true to Pam, and in the worst way.

"Yeah," Pam murmured.

Tara moved off of Pam. She lay down on her side and snuggled closer to her. Her back was nestled against Pam's chest, and she reached for Pam's hand and brought it to rest over her stomach. She closed her eyes.

"Go to sleep," Tara mumbled. "And stop worrying."

Pam held Tara tighter, about to say okay. But she didn't want to lie.


	12. Chapter 12

_**A/N** This is the first chapter of three that I all posted today; I just broke it up because I wrote a **lot**. I think this is the longest thing I've ever written, haha. So please leave me some comments because I worked really hard on this :) xoxo_

When Tara woke up it was the middle of the afternoon and Fangtasia was dead quiet. She lay on her side and gazed at Pam for a while. The blonde was sleeping on her back completely still, her hands demurely resting on her stomach as if she was Princess Aurora.

Tara eventually got up. She moved to where a small dresser stood, something Pam had bought for her a couple months back. She opened the top drawer and rummaged through it, pulling out a bra and a pair of underwear. She opened another and found a blue t-shirt. She opened one more, and she dug through it to grab a pair of jeans. As she did, she felt something in the back corner. She lifted up a couple pairs of pants and bent over to see. It was a phone. Her phone.

Tara picked it up and stared at it, somewhat puzzled. She recalled that she put it there, but she couldn't remember why. She pressed some of the buttons and saw that it was out of battery. She searched around the room for a charger, but couldn't find one anywhere. She tried to remember the last time she even checked her phone. It had been weeks, _months._ Why? She knew she hadn't left Bon Temps to get away from anyone; she had just wanted to spend more time with Pam. She got dressed and slipped the phone into her pocket. She headed upstairs as a flurry of questions began to form in her mind.

XXX

The sun had just set and Eric and Pam were now awake. Ginger was upstairs prepping and Eric was in the office going over expenses. Pam was in the club's main bathroom curling her hair. Tara walked inside and sat on the counter.

"Hey," Pam said, giving her a small smile.

"Hey," Tara replied quietly.

"Have you eaten?" Pam asked.

"Not really," Tara answered. "I think I might go out and get something."

Pam swallowed. "Out?" she repeated. She continued to do her hair, trying to appear blasé.

"Yeah," Tara responded. "And um, my car is still in Bon Temps. So I was wondering if I could use Eric's car or something? Or get a ride?"

"We can just order something in, can't we?" Pam inquired hastily, trying to backtrack. She knew it was naïve to think Tara would be content staying at Fangtasia for the rest of her life, but she could feel a panic creeping in at the thought of her venturing into the real world again, and to Bon Temps of all places.

"Well I also want to go to my apartment. Most of my stuff is still there," Tara explained, scratching her head. "And I wanna see if I can get my job back at Merlotte's too," she added.

Pam froze.

"Why?" she asked.

Tara exhaled and looked down at her hands. "Because… it's not right for you to be supporting me like this," she said, her voice softer now. Pam may have been her girlfriend, but Tara always hated feeling like someone's charity case.

"I can pay for my own place and my own meals. It was really nice being here with you for a bit, and I'll definitely still stay over when I can. But…I need to have my own life," Tara stated as sensitively as she could.

"I can easily find you a job here," Pam pressed, willing herself to stay calm.

"Pam…" Tara started, looking up and trying to capture her gaze. "I need to see my friends and family. It's been months. I'm sure they're wondering where I am."

Pam stood there in silence, trying not to show her alarm. She forgot about her hold on the curler, and steam began emitting from her hair along with a sizzling sound.

"Pam!" Tara exclaimed as she saw this.

Pam snapped out of it and pulled the curler out. She placed it down and stared at the counter. She knew that she couldn't stop Tara. But the thought of her returning to _Merlotte's_ of all places, especially without any knowledge of what had happened to her there…she couldn't bear it.

"I don't want you to work at Merlotte's anymore," she asserted loudly.

Tara tilted her head in confusion, a little put off. "Uh… why not?"

"You hate it there," Pam said emphatically.

"It's not that bad," Tara replied, her brow wrinkling. "Why do you care?"

Pam clenched her jaw. "And you don't even get paid very well. Why go back?" she continued.

"Actually, Sam gave me a decent raise a few months ago. Didn't even ask for one," Tara retorted.

Pam gritted her teeth. She was running out of arguments.

"I just… don't like the people there," she remarked pathetically.

Tara shrugged her shoulders. "I don't like most people. But I still need a job. Are you going to help me get home or not?"

"I don't want you to work there!" Pam suddenly shrieked.

Tara slid off the counter and stood up. "Why the fuck do you care so much?" she replied.

"I told you that you can just work here," Pam stammered. "Why are you being so difficult?"

Tara's eyes widened as her head reeled back. "_I'm_ being difficult?" she snapped.

"No, not… you know what I mean," Pam spluttered.

Tara raised her eyebrows. "No, I really don't. What the hell is wrong with you? Why are you being like this?"

"I'm sorry," Pam murmured. "I'm not trying to be anything…"

"I've taken care of myself my entire fucking life," Tara avowed loudly as she pointed to her chest. "I don't need someone coming in and telling me how I'm supposed to live it."

"I'm not trying to tell you how-"

"Of course you are!" Tara returned. "That's exactly what you're doing. I didn't take you for the controlling type, Pam. Do you just want me here all the time, like your fucking prisoner or something?"

Pam bit the inside of her lip so hard that it bled. What the hell was she doing? Was she trying to ruin everything?

"I'm not-I'm not trying to be… I'm sorry…" Pam breathed.

"Whatever. I'm leaving," Tara mumbled, and she began to walk away.

"Wait, how are you getting there?" Pam called out feebly.

Tara shrugged as she left the room. "I'll take the bus."

XXX

Tara waited at the bus stop for over 40 minutes. It was chilly out and she was famished, but she refused to go back to Fangtasia. So she stood there and waited in silence, hugging herself and shifting her feet. When the bus finally came, she inserted her change and sat in the very back. She leaned her face against the window and stared outside for the entirety of the drive.

She got off at the closest stop in Bon Temps, but it was still quite far away from her apartment. She walked the whole way, kicking random pebbles that lay on the sidewalk as she made her journey. When she finally arrived, she unlocked the front door and went inside.

The place was lifeless. It was almost pitch dark and Tara flipped the light switch. She grabbed her car keys that hung against the wall and pushed them into her pocket. She walked into her bedroom and turned on the light. She looked around. It was strange being back, but it was nice to see the place again. She walked over to her dresser and grabbed her phone charger. She plugged one end into the outlet and the other into the side of her phone. She pressed the power button and waited for it to turn on. As soon as it did, it began to buzz nonstop. Text message after text message flooded the screen. Tara's eyes widened as she began to read them.

_hookah, you aight? – _Lafayette

_ Call me when you get this – _Sam

_Tara, where are you?_ _I've called you like twelve times! Call me back – _Sookie

_bitch, where the fuck you at? _–Lafayette

_Hey, I know you're with pam but can you please just let me know you're okay? _– Sam

_Sam told me you're with Pam. Why aren't you picking up your phone? Is everything ok? I need to talk to you_ - Sookie

On and on.

96 missed calls.

Tara was completely bewildered. She looked back but truly could not think of one legitimate reason to have ignored her phone for so long. She began to feel worried. The only other time in her life that she had trouble with her memory was when she blacked out under Maryann's influence. And that couldn't be it.

Tara left her phone to charge as she stood up and walked out of the apartment.

XXX

Tara drove into the parking lot of Merlotte's. She got out and pulled her shirt down over the hem of her jeans. She exhaled and made her way to the entrance.

As she walked inside, her eyes scanned the room. Arlene saw her, and though she looked surprised at first, she then shook her head and walked away, muttering to herself probably about how she was the only reliable employee that the place had. Tara looked for Sam but couldn't find him. She walked towards the kitchen, and Lafayette saw her from over a pot of boiling gumbo.

"Tara!" he exclaimed.

"Hey," she replied, happy to seem him but a little bit too preoccupied to show any enthusiasm.

"Where the hell you been?" he asked from over the counter, wondering if he should walk around to give her a hug. "Sook said you was with yo gurl, but why haven't you been pickin' up yo phone? We've all been worried about chu," he stated.

"Yeah… sorry about that. I'll tell you in a bit. Have you seen Sam?" she inquired.

"He in his office. Wanna come over to my place after I get off work?" he suggested.

"Sure," Tara answered, smiling before turning to walk down the hallway.

She knocked on the door to Sam's office, and after a few moments it was pulled open. Tara smiled shyly as she saw the dazed expression on his face.

"H-hey," he finally said. He rubbed the back of his head as he looked at her, completely caught off guard. "Wow, what a surprise."

"Hey," Tara replied. "I'm back," she said lightly as she lifted her hands and waved them a little.

"Yeah, I can see that," Sam uttered as his brow raised. "Um, come on in," he said as he backed up and cleared the doorway.

Tara walked inside and he closed the door and looked at her. The mood of the room had shifted; the air felt still and tense.

"How are you?" he asked, his voice softer and deeper now. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," Tara responded, nodding her head.

"What um…" Sam paused for a moment. He didn't know if he should ask. "Are you sure? Because before… Pam called me and would barely tell me anything. She just said something had happened to you and then she hung up without saying another word."

Tara's eyes squinted in complete confusion. "What?"

"She called me a few months back to tell me you weren't gonna work here anymore and-"

"Nothing happened to me," Tara insisted. "Why… why would she say that?" she murmured to herself.

"She sounded really upset. I tried calling and texting but I never heard back. We were all really worried, Tara."

Tara was stunned.

"I swear to you, Sam, I have no idea what she was talking about," she mumbled, too baffled to say anything else.

Sam put his hand on her shoulder. "Okay… well, that's good. I'm glad you're OK," he remarked.

"Yeah," Tara breathed, still trying to wrap her head around all of this.

"We missed you 'round here," he said amiably.

"I missed you guys too," Tara replied automatically as she stared at the ground. "Oh um, that's why I came to see you," she said as she came to her senses somewhat. "I was wondering… I know I kind of just took off with no warning, but is there any way I could get my old job back? That is, if it's still available..." Tara asked cautiously.

"Of course," Sam answered. "We'd be happy to have you back."

"Thanks," Tara said with a smile. "I really appreciate it, Sam."

"You're welcome. Do you want a drink or something?"

"Actually, I think I'm going to go see Sookie. But if I could grab some food, that would be great. I'm starving," Tara said, giving a fake chuckle.

"Sure thing, not a problem. I'm sure Lafayette will take care of it," Sam replied. "It's really good to see you, Tara," he added, giving her shoulder a squeeze before walking out of the office.

Tara stood there for a moment, trying to pull herself together. She took a deep breath and then walked out of the room.

XXX

Tara stood on Sookie's porch and knocked at the door. The bubbly blonde peeked through the window and saw it was her best friend. She opened the door swiftly.

"Oh my gosh, Tara!" she exclaimed as she pulled her into a tight embrace.

Tara was a little startled, but she smiled and hugged her back.

"Hey, you," Tara said softly.

Sookie grabbed Tara by the wrist and guided her inside. She closed the door and escorted her into the living room. They sat on the couch, and Sookie's knees bumped the outside of Tara's thigh as she angled herself closer to her.

"How are you? I haven't seen you in ages! I must have called you like a hundred times," Sookie declared.

"Yeah… I'm sorry about that. My phone broke and I never bothered to get a new one," Tara lied.

"Oh, okay… Well how are you? Has everything been okay?" she asked.

"I'm fine. Things are fine," Tara murmured.

"And how is… Pam?" Sookie added, swallowing. It was still very strange for her to imagine the two of them as a couple.

"She's fine." Tara answered unsurely.

"So you guys are doing good?" Sookie queried.

"Yeah, we're okay." Tara replied. She didn't really want to talk about Pam right now. "Anyway, how have _you_ been?" she asked, shifting the conversation to her friend.

"Life has been just plain crazy, but what else is new?" Sookie shrugged as she rolled her eyes, and she proceeded to tell Tara all about the dangers, the men, and the adventures she was currently involved in. Tara tried to listen intently, but every now and then got distracted by her own thoughts and concerns. So when Sookie finally seemed to be winding down her story, Tara spoke up again.

"Hey Sook?" she said quietly.

"Uh huh?"

"Um… what I said earlier, when you asked. About me and Pam and everything… we're…not really okay," Tara began hesitantly.

"Did you guys break up?" Sookie asked quietly.

"No, no," Tara answered, shaking her head. She stayed silent for a moment. "I don't know… I think she is hiding something from me." Tara paused. "I _know_ she's hiding something from me."

"What is she hiding?" Sookie questioned.

"I don't know," Tara replied, shrugging her shoulders. "Well…" she exhaled. "I think… something happened to me? That she's not telling me?" she continued.

Sookie nodded. "Okay. Have you talked to her about it?"

"No. I don't think she wants me to know… I have no fucking idea what it is. But she's… been acting really strange lately. And now I just… I don't know," Tara sighed.

Sookie squeezed Tara's thigh lovingly. "I'm really sorry sweetie. I wish I could help."

Tara nodded reflexively. But as she sat there, she had a new thought.

"Hey Sook…?" Tara began.

"Yeah?" the blonde responded.

Tara knew this was a bit of a soft spot for the two of them. But she continued.

"Do you um… remember when Eggs came to you that one time? You know, before he… And he…you helped him, remember what had happened to him, things he had no recollection of?"

"Yeah…" Sookie replied tentatively.

Tara turned to look at Sookie, her eyes full of vulnerability and desperation.

"Do you think you could, for-"

"I don't think that's a good idea," Sookie interjected, knowing already what Tara was requesting. "You remember what me helping him led to? And you were furious with me; it nearly ended our friendship. I really shouldn't," she concluded.

"Sookie," Tara implored. "_Please_. There is something I need to know and things just won't be right until I find out what it is, I just know it."

Sookie pressed her hands together as she struggled internally. "Tara, just think about what you're asking. What if it's something really terrible…"

"I still have a right to know, don't I?" Tara countered. It's my right to know what's happened to me," she argued.

"I know," Sookie reassured her. "I just don't want this to mess you up or something," she urged.

Sookie saw that her words didn't phase Tara one bit. Tara continued to look at her, silently begging.

"Okay," Sookie murmured finally. "If you're sure you want to do this…"

"I am," Tara said securely. "I'm positive."


	13. Chapter 13

_**A/N** This is the second chapter I've posted today (I split them up for length's sake). Go back to chapter 12 if you haven't yet read that one. Would love your feedback on this story so far. xoxo_

Sookie still wasn't thrilled with the idea, but she nodded. She reached for Tara's hands and held them in her lap.

"I need you to really focus, all right? I need you to let me in," Sookie said. "Okay…do you have any idea what day it was when this something happened to you?"

Tara's brow furrowed. "I don't know…"

"What happened the last night you were in Bon Temps? Before you left town?" Sookie inquired.

"I…" Tara searched through her memories. "I was working at Merlotte's, the night shift. I was closing up, and then… I was at Fangtasia. I think Pam came and picked me up? And then we went there together…"

"Okay, let's start there," Sookie stated. She closed her eyes, focusing all of her energy on permeating Tara's mind. After a moment, the two of them flashed back to Merlotte's. They both were seeing from Tara's point of view, and were looking out into the empty restaurant.

"Do you remember this?" Sookie asked.

"Yeah," Tara breathed. "It's like that every night."

A new image suddenly flashed. The two of them were now in the back throwing a bag of trash into the dumpster. They heard the sound of a man's voice calling out. They both watched as Tara's attacker approached them.

Sookie was going to ask if this was new, but she already knew the answer. Even now, a horrible feeling was forming in the pit of her stomach and she wanted to stop.

The memory now flashed to seeing his two friends edging closer, and then bits of dialogue began to flicker in and out.

_Fucking nigger bitch…_

_Dead fanger slut…_

Tara swallowed and she squeezed Sookie's hands harder.

The image then blinked to Tara punching him. To then being choked and shoved against the wall.

All of a sudden, the memories started moving rapidly from image to image. From the man grabbing her chin and snarling in her face, to her pants being pulled down, to being lifted and trapped against the wall. All of it. Tara watched on in complete shock. Intellectually, she knew it was her. But viscerally she felt very little. It was like watching a movie, but she just happened to be in it. She remembered, but it still didn't feel quite real.

New images kept flashing on. Pam arriving and pulling Tara up against her chest. Her whole body shaking as she sobbed. Trying to give her her blood to heal.

Tara drew in a deep breath. Now she understood.

She was ready to let go of Sookie's hands and stop. But each image brought on more discovery and clarification. The memory flashed to Pam picking her up and speeding to Fangtasia. And then to the shower. To Pam crying blood tears and trying to compose herself. To washing Tara in the shower. To holding her on the floor as Tara sobbed into her. To sleeping in Pam's coffin. Images of the past few months continued to flash quickly in and out of their consciousness. Tara watched on. Memories of reading in Fangtasia's basement inundated her. Of trying to make love with Pam. And then finally… of Eric glamoring her.

Sookie and Tara finally broke apart. Tara was completely silent. After a moment, Sookie wrapped her arms around Tara and squeezed her firmly.

"Oh my gosh, Tara…" she breathed. "I'm so sorry..." She held her so tightly that Tara could barely breathe.

"I had no idea," she continued. "Are you okay? Oh my God…"

When Sookie pulled away Tara remained quiet. This was so much to process. She sat there motionless.

"Tara?" Sookie urged.

Tara finally looked at Sookie. "Yeah," she replied. "I'm okay, Sook."

"Are you sure? I'm so sorry, I had no idea-"

"Don't apologize," Tara countered. "I asked you to do it. Thank you," she added. And with that, she stood up.

"Are you leaving?" Sookie asked in bewilderment.

"Yeah," Tara answered. "There's somewhere I need to be."

"Can you drive?" Sookie insisted. "Are you sure you're okay?" This was such a shock. Even watching it felt traumatizing to Sookie.

"I'm fine, Sook. I promise," Tara vowed. She moved in and gave her a hug. "Don't worry about me, all right? I'll see you later. And if you call, I promise I will pick up this time."

Sookie nodded, still feeling apprehensive. She watched as Tara turned and left the house. After a few moments, she heard a car ignition blare and she knew Tara was gone.

XXX

It was past 1 AM now. Tara was in Shreveport and she pulled into the lot of Fangtasia. The club was open, and the bouncer knew who she was so he let her pass. Tara walked inside and looked around. Eric was in his throne but she couldn't find Pam. She pushed open the office door and then checked the bathroom. Nothing. She look through every room on the first floor and couldn't find her.

But when she walked down into the basement, she saw Pam sitting on her bed. Her eyes were cast downward and her fingers were tracing over the sheets. When she heard Tara descending the steps, she spun her head around to look at her.

Tara walked towards her and stopped when she was standing a few feet away from her. Neither of them spoke for a while. Pam knew every time she opened her mouth to Tara lately she just seemed to make things worse, so she held her tongue. She looked down and lightly scratched the mattress. Tara eventually broke the silence.

"I know what happened," she stated calmly.

Pam looked up, not following her. "What?"

"I know what happened to me," Tara repeated. She paused for a moment. "I know I was glamored."

Pam felt an icy dread swiftly course through every inch of her body.

"Wh-what are you... how?" Pam stuttered.

"I went to Sookie's," Tara replied.

Pam didn't make the connection at first, but after a moment she recalled how the fairy had once restored her maker's memories as well.

"Oh," she said lightly. The gravity of this all was sinking in. Tara knew. Everything.

"Um," Pam said shakily. She had no idea what to say or how to be. She was not prepared for this in the slightest. Did this mean Tara would hate her forever? She now learned that she had been manipulated and lied to for months. Or would she return to her previous state of numbness and misery? Pam sat there paralyzed.

Tara moved closer to her and kneeled in front of her.

"I'm sorry," Pam whispered as she felt Tara's hands come to rest on her knees. She had never felt so guilty in her life. Tears began to brim in her eyes. She almost wanted to be slapped. She deserved it.

"Do you hate me?" she croaked.

"No," Tara answered. She brought her hands to cradle Pam's face. "I don't hate you. Or Eric. I know why you did it."

"It wasn't right," Pam sniffed. "I'm so sorry."

"But I know now, right? We are finally on the same page again," she murmured.

Tears began to slide down Pam's face. She still felt awful. "It was so hard keep it from you," she cried. "I was so mad at Eric. But... when it first happened, I was so scared... I thought you'd never be okay again," she wept.

"But I am," Tara assured her.

"How can you possibly be?" Pam blubbered.

Tara tilted Pam's face higher and locked eyes with her. "Because I'm a fucking survivor, that's why."

Pam sniffled and blinked slowly, causing another blood tear to fall from each eye.

"You are the messiest crier I know," Tara teased.

Pam tried to laugh, but it came out like a whimper instead. Tara pulled her into an embrace and Pam laid her head against her chest. Tara held her soothingly like this for a while. Eventually, she let go and looked at Pam again. The vampire's face was a mess.

"I'll be right back," Tara said gently.

She went upstairs, but was back after a couple minutes. She had a couple baby wipes in her hand, and she proceeded to clean Pam's face of the blood and make up that lay smudged across it. When she was finished, Pam was back to her natural state. Her skin looked clear and fresh and her eye make up was all gone. Tara smiled.

"So beautiful," she said gently.

Pam responded with a small smile. But she was still overwhelmed and conflicted. Why wasn't Tara freaking out? Why wasn't she angry? Why did she still seem to be her usual self even after learning what had happened to her?

Tara leaned in and gave her a small kiss. If she was honest with herself, she was still very rattled from this all. And yet another part of her was so relieved at finally understanding why Pam had been acting so odd. She was happy that they at least were okay, that they would be back to normal. She deepened the kiss but didn't go any further than that. Tonight was not the night for that, and she knew Pam was not yet ready. So she leaned in again and kissed her forehead instead.

Tara stayed over, and they both slept together in bed without touching as the sun began to rise.


	14. Chapter 14

_**A/N**__ This is the third chapter I've posted today (I split them up for length's sake). Go back to chapter 12 if you haven't yet read that one. Would love your feedback on this story so far. xoxo_

Three weeks had gone by. Tara was now back to residing in her apartment. She was also working at Merlotte's again. She refused to let what happened to her affect where she went and what she did. But she now carried a gun with her, and whenever the last remaining patrons left the bar, she would tuck it into her pants and become extra vigilant of her surroundings.

Pam asked her once if she was back to bar tending there, but Tara lied. She figured she would tell her eventually, but she knew right now Pam wouldn't be able to deal with it. Pam had stopped visiting Bon Temps altogether. She didn't want anyone to ever see them together again, and to inadvertently provoke more hatred and bigotry and possible danger for Tara. So Tara would go see Pam. She tried to every night, and they would talk or cuddle or just lay in bed in silence. Pam never made a move, but Tara was patient. In the beginning, they were content with simply holding each other and conversing until the sun came up. They were finally starting to return to how they used to be.

Tara did at times find herself going over the memories of her attack. She would look back in disbelief. Not just at the act itself, but at how she subsequently reacted. She had always been such a fighter, so it was strange thinking that she had become such a shell for so long. She thought about how Pam must have felt. So full of blame and anguish. Pam almost had it harder in a way, having to watch a loved one deteriorate and suffer so.

But they were better now. They were each so relieved that there were no secrets between them anymore, nothing to hide. The love they had for another was finally not causing them hurt, but instead, a beautiful comfort and a feeling of security.

Still, one night as they were lying in bed, Tara felt a heavy desire stirring inside her and this time she wanted to do something about it. She decided that they should be ready for this again. Pam was reading aloud a passage from one of her favorite novels, and Tara listened closely as she lay beside her. She brought her hand to Pam's stomach and ran her fingers delicately over the fabric of her shirt. Pam paid no mind to this and kept reading.

Tara then slipped her fingers beneath Pam's shirt and began to caress her smooth, pale skin. Pam noticed this, but it wasn't much more affectionate and demonstrative than they had been in the past few weeks. So she kept reading, and when she was finished she closed the book and placed it down on the ground. Tara removed her hand and turned on her side to face Pam.

"Come here," she said softly.

Pam eventually turned to face her. Tara ran her fingers down Pam's cheek and then moved in to kiss her. It was a simple peck, but she moved in and brushed their lips together again. Pam's eyes slipped shut. This was nice.

But all of a sudden, she felt Tara pulling her until she was on top of her. Tara spread her legs, causing Pam's knees to sink into the mattress as she hovered over her.

"I want you," Tara breathed.

Pam swallowed. She wanted her too, she realized. She had enjoyed Tara's company so much over the past few weeks that she had forgotten that they hadn't yet been physically intimate again. Now she could feel her body wanting to be, but she was still extremely tentative and unsure. She couldn't help it. She still had a fear that she might take Tara back to that horrible place, no matter how stable she claimed herself to be. And the idea of "fucking" her now seemed so wrong. Even the thought made her feel like a monster. It made her feel like she would be would be dehumanizing and demeaning Tara just like her attackers did. Pam's touches had been so soft and gentle and pure lately; even the idea of making love didn't seem right now.

Tara drew her legs in and slid them underneath Pam. She then lifted her and brought her closer until Pam was sitting over her lap. Their pelvises were pressed against each other, and Tara reached for Pam's hands and intertwined their fingers. Pam couldn't even squeeze them back. She looked down to the side, unable to hide her reluctance and unease.

Tara saw this and exhaled loudly out of frustration. She pushed Pam off of her and got out of bed. Pam saw that she was agitated. And with good reason.

"I'm so sorry, Tara," she whispered.

Tara didn't say anything. She had planted herself a few paces in front of her. She locked eyes with Pam, her expression completely resolute and unwavering. She then began to undress, so deliberately as if she was on a mission.

Pam stared at her in confusion and growing dread. "Tara, I don't…Why are you…" she trailed off. Tara wasn't stopping. She unzipped her jeans and dragged them down her legs along with her underwear. She stepped out them and she stood there completely naked before Pam.

It was very awkward. Pam briefly glanced at her before casting her eyes to the wall.

"Look at me," Tara ordered.

Pam bit her lip. What the fuck was Tara doing? But she eventually turned her head and made eye contact with her.

Tara stood still for a moment. Pam glared at her, feeling incredibly uneasy. Then, she saw Tara bring her hand over her stomach. Tara took in a deep breath, then dragged it lower. She began to touch herself, very slowly.

"What are you doing…" Pam whispered in a panic, turning her head away.

"Look at me," Tara repeated, louder now.

Pam was so uncomfortable she wanted to scream. But she gradually shifted her gaze back to her. She watched her gently stroke herself up and down. Tara's eyes were still locked firmly on Pam.

"Pam," Tara began, her voice low and calm. She brought her other hand to her chest and began to caress her breast.

"Why are you doing this?" Pam said faintly.

"Because I want you to touch me," she responded. "Because I am sexual. Because I love you," Tara affirmed.

Pam took in a deep breath. And this time, she actually let herself see Tara. She took in her rich, dark skin. She moved her eyes over the subtle curves of her body, over her strong, toned limbs. She watched as she slowly slid her fingers inside herself and pulled them out again, causing her abs to tense and her breath to hitch.

The longer Pam observed her, the less uncomfortable she felt and the more turned on she began to feel. The more _she _wanted to be doing that to her, to be touching her. Tara sighed and closed her eyes as she increased the pace of her fingers. Pam watched her for a few moments, but couldn't take it any longer.

"Tara," she rasped.

Tara opened her eyes and looked at her. Pam's expression had changed. There was not an ounce of reservation or discomfort there anymore. Tara walked towards her, and as soon as she was close enough, Pam forcefully pulled her down onto her lap.

They crushed their lips together and kissed each other ravenously. Tara tangled her fingers into Pam's locks and their tongues met eagerly. Pam pulled on the back of her neck and Tara sucked on her full lips with fervor. Pam wanted to touch her everywhere at once. She ran her hands down her back and cupped her ass. Then she palmed her breasts and dragged them over her nipples. She squeezed her hips and moved to kiss her neck.

Tara tugged at Pam's shirt and practically threw it off. She unclasped her bra in a frenzy and tossed it behind her. She reached for the button of her pants and pushed her down onto her back as she pulled them off along with her panties. She crawled on top of her but Pam flipped her and switched their positions. Tara opened her legs and pulled Pam closer to her. They were flush against each other and Pam could feel Tara's arousal rub onto her own skin. All she wanted to do was touch her and it felt so good to finally feel this way again. No doubts, no uncertainties, no fears. She could feel that Tara was growing desperate, and she began to slowly run her hand down her torso. Before she moved any lower, she looked Tara in the eye.

Tara gazed back at her. She wanted to smile, but she was so turned on that all she could do was exhale heavily through her nose. Pam brought her hand lower and then after a moment, she easily slid two fingers inside. Tara's eyes fluttered shut and she moaned. Pam was in ecstasy. This fiery passion she felt for Tara had been quelled for so long from all of the anguish and pain. But now it was in full flames again and Pam had never been more aroused. It felt so good to touch her and Pam could feel how much she wanted her. Tara clung to her and moaned into her ear and Pam drove her fingers harder into her.

_You make everything better_, she remembered. Tara's words comforted her like a thick, warm blanket.

Pam leaned down and kissed Tara's jaw, then moved to suck on her earlobe. Tara was so wet and was clenching her fingers and there was nothing but love and trust flowing from the both of them. As it should be.

Pam was hitting that perfect spot and Tara's hips were lifted so high that her quads ached and burned. She tried to keep her eyes open and she grabbed Pam's waist and pulled her in closer. Her hand slithered down between Pam's legs and she began stroking her, feeling her arousal coat her fingers. Pam's mouth fell open and her fangs popped. Tara's fingers slid up and down her clit and Pam's brow furrowed as she moaned. They were both almost there, but there was something else Pam wanted to do before they got there. She slowly pulled her fingers out of Tara and began to kiss her down her torso. She dragged her tongue down her pelvis and held her legs open. She licked her lips, and Tara whimpered as Pam's mouth met the juncture of her thighs, tongue first. Pam caressed Tara's hips as she sucked and pulled at the sensitive flesh. Tara's legs began to shake and she placed her hands over Pam's as she moved her hips.

Pam never wanted to stop. She loved feeling every twitch and shudder of Tara's vibrate through her own body. She loved tasting her. She loved feeling her warm skin pressed against her own. She circled her tongue and Tara's hips began to jerk. Tara felt breathless and dizzy, and her skin tingled as her thoughts became foggy. Every nerve in her body ignited and she began to spasm. Pam held her firmly and kept flicking her tongue. Tara drew in deep breaths as a rush of blood pulsed between her legs. She managed to sit up halfway and grab Pam's head, gently pushing it away. She was still panting, and instead of pulling Pam up all the way, she guided her head to the inside of her thigh. She held there for a moment, and Pam eventually understood what she was asking for. She lightly grazed her fangs over her skin for a while, and then sunk them into her smooth, dark flesh. Tara gasped and tried to keep her legs still. Pam sucked harder as she felt Tara's sweet blood pool into her mouth. She swallowed it hungrily but made sure she was neat about it, not allowing any to drip down her lips. She eventually pulled away and licked away the remaining blood from her skin. She pushed her forefinger into her fang and healed the two openings, but she then brought her finger to Tara's lips.

Tara didn't need Pam's blood, and she had never before had a desire to try it recreationally. But she trusted her, and as Pam's finger touched her lips, Tara opened her mouth and sucked on it. A few drops greeted Tara's tongue and she swallowed. Pam removed her finger and leaned down to kiss her. As soon as she did, Tara felt an overpowering warmth and electricity generating throughout her whole body. It felt like it was intensely humming, and the throb between her legs had grown exponentially. Her senses were completely awake and invigorated and Pam's touch felt like a dream. She sat up and pulled Pam up to sitting too. She then straddled her lap and wrapped her arms around her upper back. Pam leaned in and kissed her chest and sucked on her skin. Pam then slid her hand down the plane of her stomach and back once again into slick heat. Tara held onto her with crushing force. The effects of her blood were heightening every touch and every movement. Pam twisted her wrist and her fingers flexed and curled before adding another digit. Tara panted and began to grind her hips in rhythm with Pam's fingers. Her abs tensed and shook and her hair stuck to her sweaty temples and forehead. She slid her own hand down Pam's pelvis and pushed three fingers inside of her. Pam cried out and brought her free hand to grip Tara's shoulder. They both feverishly moved against each other like this for a while, their palms occasionally brushing against the other's clit. Tara's eyes squeezed shut and she felt sweat tickling her lower back.

"Tara," Pam husked.

Tara opened her eyes and gazed at her. Pam leaned in and kissed her. Their mouths then opened and they massaged their wet, warm tongues together. Pam's fingers moved into vamp speed and the wet, smacking sound from the friction of her fingers entering Tara quickened. Tara's mouth fell open and she felt her voice seize in her throat. She increased the speed of her own fingers and pressed her palm against Pam's taut bundle of nerves, circling it counter-clockwise.

Tara's hips began to buck and Pam also felt herself tightening around Tara's fingers. Tara wrapped her arm under Pam's and held onto her back as she sucked air into her lungs and felt a growing burning in her abs. Pam clutched Tara's shoulder and groaned as she was pushed over the brink. They touched their foreheads together as their bodies shuddered and quaked. Tara exhaled warm air onto Pam's face as sweat dripped down her neck and back. She kept rocking her hips against Pam's hand and she felt Pam clutch her harder as they rode the intense and heated waves that coursed through them. Their bodies eventually returned to stillness as they continued holding each other. They later made their way to their backs, and Pam pulled the sheets up over them as she brought her head to rest on Tara's stomach. Tara lightly scratched Pam's scalp and her eyes slipped shut. The two of them stayed like this for a while. Neither of them wanted to move. Ever. Tara was still feeling the effects of Pam's blood. Her senses were sharpened, and her favorite part was how it intensified Pam's sweet fragrance, which seemed to waft freely through the air. Even as Pam's blood wore off, a powerful warmth still radiated throughout Tara's entire body.

Tara stayed over, and this time when they slept, it was in each other's arms. They awoke the next evening and stayed in bed for a while, lying there in silence. They could hear a rustling upstairs that was probably Ginger. Pam lightly stroked her fingers over Tara's collarbone and sighed.

Tara eventually felt a need to speak. There was something that had been on her mind every day for almost a month now and she finally felt ready to say it.

"Hey Pam?" she murmured.

"Yeah?" the blonde answered softly.

"I have to tell you something," Tara continued. "Or I guess, ask you something."

"Okay," Pam replied.

"I just want you to promise that you won't immediately judge and say no," Tara warned.

"I'm sure I wouldn't do that," Pam replied.

"Just promise me, okay?" Tara added. "Please."

"I promise," Pam vowed.

"Okay," Tara responded. She drew in a deep breath and paused for a moment before speaking again.

"I want you to turn me," she finally said.


	15. Chapter 15

_**A/N**__ Originally didn't plan on ending the chapter here, but I don't have time to continue tonight and wanted to post it because it's been so long now! Your comments mean everything! xoxo_

Pam didn't speak. She was too caught off guard to even bother trying to. She knew they were just going to have a simple conversation, but for some reason she felt incredibly nervous. Her brow was furrowed and she chewed on the inside of her lip as she stared at the floor.

"_Pam_," Tara urged, breaking the prolonged silence.

Pam blinked and remembered that Tara was waiting. She looked at her but still didn't speak.

"Helloo?" Tara sang.

"Why are you bringing this up right now?" Pam finally asked.

"Can you answer my question first?" Tara pressed.

"You didn't ask a question," Pam replied quietly.

"Don't be a smartass," Tara retorted.

Pam cleared her throat, suddenly thrown by her attitude. "Fine," she said. "No."

"You just fucking promised you wouldn't do that," Tara snapped.

"Where is this coming from?" Pam queried. This felt so random and out of the blue.

"I've been thinking about it for a long time, actually," Tara answered.

"You don't even like vampires," Pam argued.

"Uh, I like you, don't I?" Tara countered. "So much that I want to spend an eternity with you."

Pam closed her eyes and sighed. "Tara…"

This conversation was making her uncomfortable. Yes, the subject had crossed her mind, and often at that. But she never thought Tara would be the one to bring it up. She knew Tara loved her, but she always figured this was _despite_ the fact that she was a vampire.

"Can you at least give me a reason? Instead of shutting me down without even thinking about it?" Tara demanded.

"I have thought about it," Pam responded softly. "Many times."

"Okay then," Tara replied. "Me too. I've thought really long and hard about this-"

"No, you haven't," Pam refuted.

"What is your problem?" Tara insisted. Why was Pam being such an asshole?

"You don't know what you're asking," Pam murmured.

"Yes I do," Tara avowed loudly. "I'm not an idiot. Do I need to slice my wrists open for you to actually take me seriously?"

Pam turned to glare at Tara, who in that moment realized she had gone too far. Pam was fuming, so much so that she was speechless. She stood up and began to walk away.

Tara let out a heavy exhale. "Pam, I'm sorry. I didn't mean that... Don't go, okay?"

Pam didn't turn around, but she stopped.

"I'm sorry," Tara breathed, truly meaning it.

Pam walked back towards her. She sat down on the bed and remained there for a while in silence. She looked down at the dark burgundy sheets, smoothing out the wrinkles with the palm of her hand. Her expression and whole demeanor had softened.

"Tara," she began quietly, gazing intently into her eyes. "I am not going to take your life. It's the most selfish thing I could do."

"Not if it's what I want," Tara responded.

Pam's eyes slipped shut for a moment. "I can't do it. I'm sorry."

"How is this any different than how Eric turned you? You knew what you wanted, and so do I," Tara asserted.

"That was over a hundred years ago, Tara. You can live so much more of a life than I ever could have," Pam explained.

"I want to live it with you," Tara replied.

"And you are!" Pam exclaimed. "I don't understand what the problem is."

"The problem is that one day, I'm gonna fucking die," Tara uttered plainly.

Pam shook her head and stared at the ceiling. Apparently this conversation was turning morbid.

"Yes," Pam agreed. "That happens."

Tara exhaled in frustration. This was not going well.

"I kind of hate you right now," Tara remarked.

"What happens when you get fed up or bored and don't want to be with me anymore? You expect me to just take that risk and kill you anyway?" Pam inquired.

"Why do you assume I wouldn't want to be with you anymore?" Tara probed.

"What's the longest relationship you've really been in, Tara?" Pam murmured. "8 months? 10? What makes you think you can commit to over a millennium with someone?"

"What the fuck, Pam?" Tara stood up and moved away from the bed, crossing her arms.

Pam knew she was coming off as a bitch, but she was trying to convey to Tara the full reality of the situation. What she didn't fully realize, though, was that part of the reason she seemed to be so against this was because deep down, she wanted it desperately. She was overcompensating because of her guilt. This was new to her. She had never been so attached to a human before; the fear of losing Tara in what was like a blink of an eye to a vampire was frankly terrifying.

"And even if we weren't together anymore, I'd still be your maker." Pam continued. "Do you understand how complicated that would make things?"

"Oh, are we making a pro and con list right now? Is that what we're doing?" Tara replied sarcastically. "Well do you know that if I was a vampire you could finally stop worrying about me? About my safety? Which I know you're always fucking doing. Do you ever relax when I'm not here? Because I don't think you do. I really don't. You think something is going to happen to me again."

Pam bit her lip. She couldn't deny this.

"I thought you said you can take care of yourself," she mumbled.

"I can," Tara confirmed. "And I also know how to make my own decisions. I know what I want."

Pam stared at the wall and shook her head. She could feel herself getting worked up, but not out of anger. It was out of a growing need to communicate her point, something Tara was still failing to truly grasp. She waited a moment, then turned and unapologetically locked eyes with her.

"Are you ready to never see the sun again? To live the rest of your life in darkness?" Pam demanded. "Do you want kids? Do you want to watch every one of your friends and family die until they're all gone?" Her voice was so loud that it was filling the entire basement, echoing and bouncing off the walls.

"Do you want to spend an eternity fighting almost every instinct and urge that comes naturally to you? To become something you have desperately hated, and understandably so? To become something that eats, rapes, and kills with no misgivings or hesitation? To become what you viewed for the longest time, as a monster?"

Tara swallowed and cast her eyes towards the floor. She knew all of this, but hearing Pam say it out loud so bluntly was a different thing. Pam knew she was being harsh, but she had to be. As much as she loved being a vampire, she wasn't ignorant to the sacrifices and the hardships that came with being one. This was a decision they could never take back.

"You're not a monster," Tara murmured.

"I was," Pam acknowledged. "Don't deny it."

Tara couldn't. Even now, she could remember the vile, putrefied smell of Pam's rotting flesh. She remembered the utter terror she had felt when Pam swiped her gun in the cemetery and pushed her to the ground, ready to kill in an instant with absolutely no qualms.

But then she remembered the new Pam. The real Pam. _Her_ Pam. The nurturing, sensitive, compassionate one who loved her deeply and endlessly. The one who had reconnected with parts of herself so much that she was practically human now. _That_ was who she really was.

"I know what I want," Tara repeated, her voice low and subdued.

"No you don't," Pam insisted. Tara wasn't thinking. Pam knew her better than almost anyone, and she knew that no matter whom Tara fell for or what changed in her life, that she would always cling to her humanity. Tara might not hate all vampires anymore, but that certainly didn't mean she truly wanted to _be _one.

"Can you name one reason to be turned other than wanting to be with me?" Pam queried.

"Yeah," Tara responded. "To better protect myself from all the crazy shit that's out there. I don't know if you've noticed, but I have the worst fucking luck ever."

"Turning you isn't the only solution, Tara. You'd be much safer if we weren't together."

"Oh, so is that what you'd prefer? The amount you keep talking about us breakin' up, I'm starting to think that that's what you want."

"You're not listening to me," Pam stated.

"I _am_ fucking listening," Tara returned.

"Why don't you just… think about this some more and we'll talk about it later, okay?" Pam suggested.

"Can you stop patronizing me? I'm not five," Tara blurted.

"Actually, relative to me, you are," Pam maintained.

Tara let out a sneer of disgust. "I can't deal with you right now," she uttered as she walked away.

Pam pursed her lips and watched her leave. "Where are you going?" she finally muttered.

"Merlotte's," Tara declared as she began to climb the stairs.

It took a moment for this to register with Pam. But when it did…

"Wh-what? Why?" Pam exclaimed.

"Because I work there," Tara called out, almost completely out of sight.

Pam was absolutely stunned.

"Tara!" she hollered.

Tara rolled her eyes and turned around, reluctantly walking back down. "What," she said flatly.

"Why the hell are you working there again?" Pam asked incredulously. "What the fuck?" she breathed. "How long have you…Why… why would you possibly…" She brought a hand to her furrowed forehead. "Jesus, Tara. It's like… it's like you're asking-"

"Asking for what?" Tara suddenly demanded. Her expression instantly became icy and hostile.

Pam was so disoriented from the rapid influx of emotions that she didn't even realize what she had said. She looked up and saw Tara, who looked like a provoked predator ready to attack.

"Asking for what?" Tara repeated, her voice low and threatening.

"Um... I don't…what did I…" Pam began. She genuinely couldn't remember what she said. She brushed it off and continued. "Can we talk about this? Please don't leave. I'm sorry... Please, Tara."

Tara exhaled. "I gotta go," she murmured, and she turned to walk up the flight of stairs again. The door closed with a thud and Pam sat there paralyzed.

XXX

Tara slumped into Merlotte's. Sam was standing by the bar pouring a few shots of rum when he saw her come in. Tara slid onto a stool in front of him and rested her elbows on the counter.

"Hey," Sam said. "You're early."

"Yeah," Tara replied. "That's new, right?" she mumbled, failing to deliver the joke very well.

Tara looked visibly unhappy. Sam was about to ask what was up, but she didn't seem to be in the mood to talk.

"You want one of these?" he asked as his eyebrow arched, glancing down at the shot glasses that stood in a neat array on the counter.

Tara nodded. "More like I_ need_ one," she replied, grabbing one and shooting it back in an instant. She felt the alcohol burn as it slid down her throat and suddenly she felt just a tiny bit lighter.

"Keep 'em coming," she added.

XXX

Pam let Tara leave. She needed a minute anyway. She was trying to wrap her head around what felt like four hundred different things. Why Tara would keep working at Merlotte's, Pam didn't have the slightest clue. Did the place really mean that much to her?

She then reflected on their conversation about turning her. Perhaps she had been too condescending and dismissive with her. But it was so difficult to believe that Tara truly wanted this. Did Tara really love her that much? And could it ever work? The idea of being a maker, and seriously this time, was as enthralling as it was terrifying.

But Pam refused to let herself continue to fantasize about this. She held onto the notion that this was just an ephemeral desire Tara had, a fleeting request that emerged from their blissful, post-coital haze. She told herself they would move on from this in enough time.

Her mind then traveled to Merlotte's again. The idea of Tara working there again was sickening, but Pam knew there was no stopping her. And she certainly was not going to glamor the desire out of her. She had made an unconscious promise with herself that she would never resort to glamoring Tara, for anything. Ever.

Pam battled with herself about whether she should go see her. She hadn't been to Bon Temps in months. She didn't want to spark any more controversy or hate by returning there, by being seen with Tara again. And she knew if there was an emergency she could sprint over and be there in a matter of minutes. But this still didn't comfort her. She should be there.

XXX

Tara was on her feet working now. And she was drunk. But she held her liquor pretty well; she hadn't messed up any orders yet or driven away any customers. She was louder and a little clumsier though, and to Sam's surprise, was laughing a lot. Sam knew Tara had a tendency to get angry or emotional when she drank, so he was glad he didn't have to deal with this. He kept an eye on her though, because she seemed to keep reaching for a new bottle every time he turned around.

Pam arrived in Bon Temps and parked in the lot. Even before she walked inside, she knew something was up. Through her blood, she could sense Tara was in a good mood, oddly enough. But she could also feel a dizziness and an instability and realized that she had been drinking. Pam felt like she needed another minute to prepare herself before going inside, but she was standing just a feet away from where Tara was attacked and she couldn't remain there any longer. She pushed open the front doors and did her best to ignore the several heads that simultaneously turned and looked her way.

Tara was leaning against the counter chatting with an older man when she looked up and saw her walk in. Pam walked to one of the empty booths and sat down, naively trying to disassociate herself with Tara. She was just here to make sure Tara was safe. Everyone knew who Pam was though, and they knew that they were together.

Tara was clearly intoxicated, because as soon as she saw Pam she blurted out, "Hey everyone! Look, it's my _girlfriend_. Oh, and she's a vampire, did you know that?" Tara snorted, and a newly mortified Pam turned to glare at her. Tara waved enthusiastically and then rolled her eyes. She ended the facade and proceeded to pretend like she wasn't there.

They carried on like this for a while. Holly asked if Pam wanted anything to drink, but she politely declined. Pam knew this was all so stupid, that they were both being ridiculous. And through Tara's blood now she could sense nausea and fatigue. It was time to go.

When Sam passed her table, Pam gently grabbed his forearm. He turned to look at her.

"Sam, I know she isn't done working yet but…"

"Take her home," Sam replied, knowing where she was going with this.

Pam nodded. "Thank you."

Sam wasn't thrilled, but he nodded back. "I hope y'all can work out whatever is going on because I can't have her like this every night…"

"I know. Sorry, Sam," Pam murmured.

Sam was a little taken aback by Pam's tone and demeanor. She had never been so civil and subdued with him before. It made her much more likeable though, so he wasn't complaining. He glanced over at Tara, who was slapping someone's shoulder as she cracked up hysterically.

"Good luck," Sam muttered, and with that he walked away.

Pam slid out of the booth and cautiously moved towards the bar. Tara knew she was there but she ignored her. Pam sat on a stool and waited for her to finish talking to the man. When she realized Tara wasn't going to stop until Pam was gone, she had to say something.

"Tara…" she began.

Tara didn't answer her. She turned around and went to grab something from the cooler. When she turned around, she resumed her conversation with the man.

"Tara," Pam repeated, louder now.

The man stopped talking and looked at her. Tara realized she didn't have a choice now, so she reluctantly turned her head to meet Pam's eyes.

"What," she uttered.

"Let's go," Pam murmured.

"I'm not going anywhere," Tara slurred. She began to turn around again, but Pam grabbed her wrist.

"Get the fuck off me," Tara blurted as she pulled her arm away.

Pam clenched her jaw. "Sam told me to take you home," she explained.

"I'm not going anywhere with you," Tara declared.

It was times like these that Pam really hated Tara's stubbornness. Thank God Sam heard the two of them and walked over.

"You're all set, Tara," he said as he patted her on the shoulder. "I can take it from here. Why don't you take the rest of the night off?"

Tara pressed her lips together. "Whatever," she said, and she turned to grab her wallet and keys before exiting the bar.

Pam followed right behind her.

"You're not driving," she asserted as they walked outside.

"Go away," Tara grumbled.

"No," Pam returned. She picked up the pace of her steps and grabbed Tara's hand. She pulled her towards her own car, and Tara reluctantly followed.

XXX

When they got to Tara's place, it was half past one in the morning. Tara plopped herself onto her bed and kicked her shoes off. She was by the edge of the bed, lying on her back while her feet rested on the floor. She felt a little woozy but was still fully conscious.

Pam closed the front door and locked it. She looked around, and as she did, she saw something she never would have imagined.

"Tara, the place… did you…?"

Even in her drunken fog Tara knew what Pam was noticing.

"Yep."

The place was now light-tight. Pam could see black shutters hanging against every window. She could see that the cracks from the front door were sealed from the inside.

"When did you…" Pam trailed off. She was shocked.

"A few weeks ago," Tara responded.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Pam queried.

"Because you never fucking come here. What's the point?" Tara replied. She shut her eyes and put her hands over her stomach.

"Tara, this must have been so expensive…"

"Yep," Tara agreed.

Pam walked over towards her. When she reached the bed, she kneeled and placed her hands on Tara's thighs.

"Thank you," she whispered.

"Whatever," Tara mumbled.

Pam lightly rubbed her hands over Tara's thighs. She didn't speak for a while. When she sensed Tara wasn't feeling so sick, she began to.

"I'm sorry about before. I was being a bitch."

Tara didn't say anything, but she opened her eyes.

"I didn't mean to talk to you like that. The conversation just caught me off guard. I just don't want you to make this decision just because of me. I'm scared… that I'll fuck it all up somehow. Or that you'll regret it. That we both will," Pam explained.

Tara was quiet, but her walls were now down.

"I'm sorry too," she murmured eventually. "You were right."

She couldn't go on, but Pam understood.

"We can be happy just how we are," Pam assured her.

Tara wasn't convinced. The image of growing old and withering away beside an unchanged and devastated Pam would not go away.

Pam wasn't convinced either, but right now, all she was focused on was apologizing to Tara and assuaging her doubts and concerns.

Pam scooted in between Tara's legs and stood up slightly, pressing her knees against the edge of the mattress and leaning down so her upper body hovered over Tara's. She reached for her hands and intertwined their fingers.

"Are you still mad at me?" Pam said with a smile.

"Are you still being a butthead?" Tara muttered.

Pam cracked up. "What did you just call me?"

Tara couldn't help but smile too. Pam released her hands and moved them to the sides of Tara's waist. She held them there for a minute, but then moved them under Tara's shirt as she began to tickle her.

"Ahh!" Tara yelped as she broke into a grin and tried to push her hands away. "Pam, stop!"

Tara was terribly ticklish and Pam didn't want to torture her, so she eventually removed her hands.

"Sorry," Pam giggled as she watched Tara tug her shirt back down again. "It's just so funny."

"Yeah," Tara breathed. "To _you_."

"I'm sorry," she laughed, and she bent down and kissed her bellybutton.

No less than a moment later, a huge growl resounded from Tara's stomach. Tara was embarrassed and quickly covered her stomach with her hands. Pam smiled again and pulled Tara up to sitting. She grabbed her hand and guided her into the kitchen.


	16. Chapter 16

_**A/N**__ I don't know if I like this chapter, lol. I almost didn't post it. But here it is._

Tara had hardly any food in the house, like usual. But there was a half empty jar of tomato sauce they put onto the stove to warm, and they boiled a pot of water for some pasta from the pantry. Tara was still a little drunk and Pam seemed to be feeding off of her energy, because she felt giddy and girly herself. They messed around in the kitchen, laughing and teasing each other. Tara on a whim smeared sauce down Pam's cheek and jaw. Pam flipped out, completely disgusted. She retaliated by slipping a few ice cubes down the back of Tara's shirt. Tara shrieked and tried to shake them out, then dragged more sauce down Pam's neck.

Pam hated being around human food, and a few drops of sauce had landed on her shirt, staining it. If it had been anyone else, they'd be dead in an instant. Instead, she brought her palm to her face, pushing away the sauce and flicking it to the side.

"Ugh," she breathed, much to Tara's amusement. Tara pulled Pam down so that they were kneeling on the floor and she moved closer to her neck. She licked where there were still red tinges lingering against her pale skin, and Pam's eyes slipped shut. When Tara pulled away, she muttered, "You ruined my shirt."

Tara chuckled. "You have too many clothes anyway."

"No such thing," Pam mumbled back.

Tara also apparently got horny when she drank, because she pushed Pam down and straddled her against the kitchen floor. She pulled Pam's shirt up over her head and tossed it away. She nuzzled her nose into her chest and inhaled.

"Why do you always smell so fucking good?" Tara murmured.

"All I can smell is fucking Ragu," Pam retorted bitterly.

Tara was too busy kissing and licking her way down Pam's stomach to respond. She massaged the insides of her legs and Pam soon felt desire replace her aggravation. She arched her back slightly and sighed when she felt Tara's hands slowly journey to the apex of her thighs.

But they were soon interrupted. The water was now boiling, and it bubbled over the pot as the sauce began to burn. Moments later, Tara's phone beeped as it received a text message. Tara pulled away and Pam exhaled out of frustration. Tara stood up and turned the stove off, and then pulled her phone out of her pocket.

The text was from Lafayette. He was on his way home and was wondering if she was around. They had yet to hang out, and the two of them had a habit of showing up at the other's place at all hours of the night, so this wasn't unusual for them.

"Who is it?" Pam queried.

"Lafayette," Tara replied. "He was wondering if I was around. I think he's gonna stop by."

"Oh," Pam responded. She stood up and went to pick up her shirt. "I'll get going then."

"No," Tara returned. "Stay. He probably just wants to say hi. Is that okay?" she asked.

"Yeah," Pam replied quietly, trying to mask her hesitation. She didn't know how she was supposed to act around him now.

"Let me get you another shirt," Tara said, walking away to the bedroom.

Pam moved to the sink, wetting a paper towel with water and wiping her neck and the side of her face with it. She threw it away and Tara returned and handed her a t-shirt. It was forest green, one of her cotton, XXL large ones. Pam glared at it.

"You're staying over, right?" Tara confirmed. "It's comfortable to sleep in… Don't make that face."

Pam still didn't budge. Tara rolled her eyes. "Jesus, just put it on. It won't kill you."

Pam grumbled and pulled the shirt over her head. It was huge. The hem almost reached her mid-thigh and it was the loosest thing she had ever worn. Tara couldn't help but crack up as she saw Pam's expression.

"I look like a hobo," Pam uttered.

"A sexy one," Tara replied, still smiling. She stepped in closer and kissed away her bratty pout. She moved her hands under her shirt and ran them up her abdomen and down the sides of her waist. Just as Pam was finally relaxing into it, there was a knock at the door.

Pam groaned and pushed Tara away.

Tara was amused at how quickly Pam changed from mood to mood. Just an hour ago she was on her knees, utterly apologetic and soft spoken, and now she was an interesting combination of grouchy and turned on. And as she moved to sit on the bed, waiting for the door to be answered, she became tentative and somewhat anxious. Why did Tara have to have any friends and family anyway? Without them, she wouldn't be obligated to interact with people, especially in a kind and civil manner.

Pam heard the door open. She sat at the edge of the bed with her feet resting against the floor. She looked down and decided to slip her shoes off, which looked ridiculous when coupled with Tara's shirt. She then heard the two of them conversing by the front door.

"Bitch, why the fuck have I still not seen you yet?"

"I've been at work! You haven't been there."

"I ain't been working nights lately."

"That's not my fault."

"Well can I come in or is you gonna keep blocking the doorway while my sexy black ass freezes out here?"

They smiled and Lafayette walked inside. He looked around, noticing the dark shutters around the room. He turned his head some more, and there was Pam. She sat on the bed with one ankle crossed over the other.

Lafayette was visibly taken aback, not realizing she was going to be there. As they made eye contact, he couldn't help but feel apprehensive.

"Hello," he said cautiously.

"Hi," Pam replied. She tugged at the corners of her lips and managed to present small, strained smile. They stood there awkwardly, but Pam finally spoke again.

"Those are nice earrings."

"Thanks," Lafayette returned, still hesitant but starting to relax. "Them pumps is sexy too," he added, glancing at her heels on the floor.

Pam smiled, genuinely this time.

"You want a beer?" Tara hollered from the kitchen.

"Nah, I ain't staying long," he called back.

"You sure?"

Lafayette paused for a moment. "Aight, maybe just one…" He swiveled around and walked into the kitchen.

Pam dug her palms into the mattress and leaned back slightly. She didn't know if she should follow him. She decided to remain where she was, figuring she would let them catch up with each other.

As she heard them from the kitchen, she realized this was the first time she was truly witnessing them together. The only other time she had been around the two of them was during the necromancy debacle where both of them were terrified for their lives, mostly due to Pam herself. She looked back on that whole period with a sense of wonder. It seemed so long ago. She had been so livid, on such a rampage. Pam never apologized for what she did and how she acted, but now as she reflected, she knew she had been acting like a complete psychopath. A stranger objectively hearing about everything that had happened would be utterly baffled to learn that Tara not only ended up forgiving Pam, but also falling in love with her.

Pam sat there feeling twinges of guilt, but as she heard the two of them laughing in the kitchen, she realized that she was not on their minds in the slightest. She also noticed a distinct change in Tara's demeanor and voice as she interacted with him. It was fascinating and a little jarring. It didn't sink in until this moment just how different she and Tara were, how completely different their backgrounds were. And yet how easily and how well they seemed to fit together.

"Shut the fuck up!" one of them blurted, cracking up hysterically.

"Nah, I ain't lyin'. It's the fuckin' truth."

"That's fucked up."

"I know right? Love it."

Pam still felt out of place, but she started to enjoy listening to their lively back and forth banter. She couldn't help but smile as she heard Tara snort, even though she had no idea what the hell they were talking about. She only grew nervous when she heard them coming her way. Tara had a beer in her hand and plopped down beside Pam on the bed. Lafayette walked over and leaned against the door frame as he took a sip from his bottle.

"I'm still gon' take you out soon," he warned, narrowing his eyes as he pointed at Tara.

"Yeah, yeah," Tara replied.

"You know who still asks about you?" he added.

"Please don't say Jelani; I can't stand him."

"Mm, you know he still got a thang for you," Lafayette teased.

"Well I ain't lookin' to get with someone right now, especially not with his sorry ass," Tara countered, bringing her free hand to rest on the inside of Pam's thigh. Pam shifted slightly. This was all so strange.

Lafayette chuckled and took another sip of beer. "You know I'd hit that if he wadn't so skinny."

Tara scoffed. "Bullshit. You'd do him now if you could."

"Well _I_ thinks he's pretty," he countered.

"That's cuz you don't mind _perverts_," Tara responded.

"Sweetie, we's all perverts," he returned with a wink.

Tara rolled her eyes and unconsciously squeezed Pam's thigh. She knew Pam wouldn't join their conversation, but she still wanted her to feel included. She watched Lafayette turn around to set his empty beer on a table.

"You want another?" Tara asked.

"I'm good. Gotta get up early for work," he replied.

"Merlotte's?" Tara inquired.

"Nah, got some business to do."

Tara shook her head. "Yeah, we all know what that means…"

Lafayette was about to make a witty comeback, but the reminder that Pam was in the room suddenly slapped him in the face.

"Uh, nothing like… you know… just some… pills and shit… that's all…" he murmured self-consciously.

Pam looked at him briefly, and when she saw a glimmer of fear in his eyes, she understood the reason for his anxiety.

Lafayette had never told Tara about Pam's visits to him in the walk-in refrigerator at Merlotte's. Where Pam had forced him to resume dealing V, something that had originally gotten him chained and imprisoned in the dungeon of Fangtasia for weeks. Even hinting at the idea of V brought back awkward memories for the two of them, reminding them of what their interactions used to be like.

"Anyway, it was good seeing you, LaLa," Tara commented.

"Yeah…" Lafayette breathed, pulling himself together. "You too, cuz. Don't be a fuckin' stranger, aight? Call a bitch once in a while."

"I will," Tara answered. She stood up and walked him to the door. Before he left, Lafayette turned to look at Pam.

"Good seeing you," he said warily.

Pam lifted her arm and waved briefly. "Bye."

Tara closed the door and walked back to the bedroom. "He's crazy, isn't he?" she chuckled.

"Yeah," Pam said automatically.

"I'll be right back," Tara stated, and walked to the kitchen.

XXX

Tara had eaten, and the two of them were now lying on her bed.

"Are you hungry?" Tara asked as she gazed up at the ceiling.

"I'm fine," Pam replied. She hadn't fed in a while, but she didn't want to leave. Still, she was grateful that Tara didn't mind that she fed on other humans. She only really drank from Tara when they were fucking.

"I have a couple Tru Bloods if you want," Tara suggested.

"I don't think I'll ever be hungry enough to drink those again," Pam commented.

"What does it taste like?" Tara inquired.

"Terrible," Pam replied flatly.

Tara chuckled. "Well obviously." She took a pause. "What do I taste like?"

Pam felt a wicked smile creep onto her face. "I'm not quite sure I know what you're referring to."

"_Oh my God,_ Pam. You know what I mean," Tara retorted, half amused and half grossed out.

Pam smiled again. "Your blood... it's… sweet, but not excessively. And it also has a spice to it, like cinnamon almost."

"Does it always taste the same?" Tara asked.

"No, I can taste subtle differences," Pam answered. "Like right now I wouldn't feed on you, because you've been drinking."

"Huh," Tara mulled. "Didn't think about that. You can taste that in my blood?"

Pam nodded. "It's frustrating at Fangtasia because almost all the humans are consuming alcohol. So if I need to feed, I try and find one earlier in the night."

This was fascinating to Tara. Pam was appreciative that Tara didn't mind talking about this, because judging from Hoyt and Jessica, the only other human-vampire couple she was aware of, feeding could sometimes be interpreted as cheating.

"Do you remember the feeling of drinking alcohol?" Tara queried.

"Yes," Pam replied.

"Do you miss it?" Tara inquired.

"Not particularly," she remarked. "And drinking blood gives me a similar rush."

Topics from their previous conversation about being turned began to cross Tara's mind, piquing her curiosity.

"Do you ever miss being human?" Tara asked softly.

"No," Pam remarked.

"Do you miss the sun?"

"Of course I do."

Tara realized it was a bit of a stupid question. But Pam was answering with nothing but patience.

"Did you ever want kids?"

"No," Pam answered. "I didn't want that life. To marry and live a confined life doing nothing but cooking and cleaning and serving some man I probably didn't even love."

Tara listened on, surprised that she had never asked her about this before.

"I did feel protective over my girls though," Pam continued. "I cared about them very much. And they needed me."

Tara nodded. She knew Pam had a maternal side in there; she experienced it herself many a time.

"I almost had one," Pam eventually admitted.

Tara turned to look at her. "A kid?"

"Yeah," Pam replied quietly. "When I was younger… I became pregnant. I didn't know whose... I… with many men…" she tried to explain. She didn't realize it would be so difficult to talk about this.

"And what happened?" Tara asked.

"I had to take care of it," Pam responded.

"But at that time, how could…" Tara then realized. "Jesus, Pam… Were you okay?"

"I was, luckily. A few of my girls weren't."

Pam was silent for a while. "I've never told anyone that before," she eventually murmured.

Tara scooted closer to Pam so that the sides of their bodies were pressed right against each other. She took Pam's hand into her own. They laid there until the sun came up, and for the first time, they were sleeping together in a real bed, and in a real home.


	17. Chapter 17

_**A/N**__ This was the hardest thing I've ever written._

Pam awoke the next evening in an empty bed. Tara had already been up for a few hours, and was in the kitchen cleaning. Pam walked over to her, looking adorably sleepy and still in Tara's enormous t-shirt. She kissed her on the cheek and headed back to Fangtasia.

Pam would go to Merlotte's every night that Tara was working, sometimes if only to meet her at the end of her shift and ensure she got home safely. She never stated out loud why she did this, but Tara knew anyway. Tara didn't mind, because it gave them a chance to see each other almost every night of the week. She let Pam take the trash out, who was always insisting on doing all the outdoor tasks herself that were required before locking up. She saw how Pam became hyper-aware when they walked to the car, always gripping her tighter and scanning the lot vigilantly. But as the weeks went by, Pam began to relax. She felt her paranoia slowly begin to fade away.

XXX

It was a Monday night, a slow day for Fangtasia, so Pam was able to hang out at Merlotte's for Tara's entire shift. Lafayette was in the kitchen, having recently resumed some of his night shifts. He and Pam were beginning to grow closer, and they really were quite a pair when they got going. Pam was sitting on a stool by the bar, and on his break Lafayette came out of the kitchen to grab a drink.

"Well hello, Miss Thang," he announced saucily, snapping as he examined her outfit.

Pam was in public, so she was always going to present herself as coolly and as unemotionally as possible. But her lips curled as she glanced at him.

"Hey yourself," she replied casually.

"You do know you is waaay too dressed up for this joint, right?" he uttered, looking her up and down. She was wearing a black and magenta Milly Stella floral-lace dress and black wedge heels.

"Or, everyone else is simply under-dressed," Pam murmured evenly.

Lafayette cocked his head to the side and smiled. "That's my kind of _gurl_!" he exclaimed. He nudged Tara's shoulder before walking away with some sort of fruit cocktail. "You betta hold onto this one. Gurl after my own heart…" he mumbled as he returned to the kitchen. Pam's lips stayed pressed together, but she couldn't help but reveal a wider smile.

Pam really was connecting with the people in Tara's life. She would never admit to actually_ caring_ about them, but people like Lafayette and Sam were gradually becoming a part of her own life too. She wouldn't dare tell anyone this, but she had begun to enjoy being around them. It was almost like… they were her friends. Pam never felt like she needed those "things" before, that she needed anyone other than Eric, and now Tara. But the feeling of being greeted warmly whenever she entered Merlotte's, or understanding an inside joke or two, all those little things did feel… nice. Pam was happy. Perhaps the happiest she'd ever been in her life.

XXX

It was a full moon that night and Sam needed to shift. Tara said she'd be fine closing up. Eventually it was just she and Pam left as people slowly made their way out of the bar. Tara was rinsing out glasses while Pam watched on, resting her chin over her hand. After a while, she stood up and walked over to Tara. She moved right behind her and snaked her hand up her torso while using her other arm to pull their hips flush against each other.

"Pam…" Tara began, unable to resist smirking.

"What?" Pam replied innocently.

"I'm not finished yet!" Tara answered.

"But I'm bored," Pam pouted.

"That's not my problem," Tara chuckled.

"You're right," she confirmed. "But you are my solution," she whispered seductively, flipping her around. She lifted her up and put her on the counter. She scooted her closer and pushed her thighs open.

Tara started muttering, knowing that Pam wasn't listening to her. Pam leaned in and sucked on her neck as she reached for Tara's arms and placed them over her back. Tara's eyes slipped shut and she cursed herself for already feeling so needy and turned on. But when she felt Pam's fingers slip beneath the seam of her pants, she pulled away.

"Wait…" she began.

"Why?" Pam murmured as she continued to tend fervently to her neck.

"I umm… you know, can't right now," Tara mumbled.

"Hmm?"

"You know, _for a few days…_" Tara insinuated.

Pam brought her hand to Tara's pelvis again, but Tara was stubborn.

"Pam, you know what I mean!" she breathed. Pam still wasn't stopping.

"Ugh… I'm on my period!" Tara finally blurted.

Pam pulled away for a moment and stared at her, puzzled.

"You think I care?" she said as she raised her eyebrows. She pulled Tara in a little closer and was this time successful at unzipping and unbuttoning her pants.

"Ughhh," Tara returned, but she didn't really want Pam to stop. Pam shimmied her pants and underwear off and dropped them to the floor. She pulled Tara almost completely off the counter and reached her hand between her legs. She removed what needed to be removed, and ignored what she knew was a mortified expression on Tara's face. She briefly visited the bathroom but returned moments later. She picked Tara up, who reluctantly wrapped her legs around her as she was carried her to the poolroom. Pam pressed her against the wall and kissed her. Pam massaged her tongue against Tara's and removed her right hand from Tara's hip. Tara had given in a while ago and was already panting, gripping Pam's shoulders in anticipation. Pam sucked on Tara's tongue as she slid her fingers inside. Tara's mouth fell open and her brow furrowed as she gripped Pam harder. Pam began to move her fingers in and out at an achingly slow pace and she felt Tara's legs squeeze firmly against her. Pam gradually sped up the pace and pressure of her fingers, relishing in how Tara felt against them.

Tara was going insane. The extra lubrication felt fucking amazing, indescribably so. Her breath hitched with every thrust of Pam's hand, and when Pam easily added a third digit she banged the back of her head against the wall. Pam pushed harder and curled her fingers, causing Tara's moans to become high-pitched. She finally used the barest hint of pressure with her thumb and Tara began to shift her hips against her. A sheen of sweat was building at the back of her neck and her lower back. Pam's shoulder muscles burned but she continued, twisting her wrist slightly. Tara was now wrapped so tightly around her that she could let go of her other hand. She pulled up Tara's shirt, scrunching it near her collarbone as she used her teeth to tug at her nipple over the fabric of her bra. Tara was clenching Pam's fingers now and she tangled her own into Pam's golden locks. Pam's fangs dropped and Tara pulled at her scalp. Pam knew she was close, and she moved her head up slightly until her mouth was just over the fleshy area above her breast. She sank her fangs into her and Tara cried out. Pam sucked and Tara's blood flooded into her mouth, sliding over her tongue and down her throat as she swallowed. She continued working her fingers inside of her as she drank, and the muscles along Tara's abdomen tensed as she was brought to the edge. She tensed and quivered, wrapping her arms tightly around Pam, which went loose and then tight again. She panted and felt sweat begin to drip down her temples and back. Pam returned to moving her fingers in slow and steady manner, and Tara panted softly.

Pam eventually removed her fingers. She brought them to her lips and sucked on them. Tara's senses were too overloaded for her to even care. She closed her eyes and soon felt Pam's fingers brush against her chest, healing the two cuts in her skin. She was then pulled off the wall and expected Pam to put her down. Instead, Pam knelt on the floor and laid her down on her back. She dragged Tara's shirt off and then swiftly removed her bra, freeing her breasts and allowing her heated skin to meet the cool air.

Tara was in too much of an foggy, pleasurable haze to do anything at all. She managed to unbutton half of Pam's shirt and slip her hands inside, resting them over her swollen breasts. They couldn't stay there for long though, because Pam was working her way down Tara's body, dragging a warm trail down her abdomen with her tongue. When she reached just below her bellybutton, Tara realized what was happening.

"Inghf," was all she managed to verbalize. And as soon as she felt Pam's tongue greet the juncture of her thighs, all orders of protest flew out the window.

Pam devoured her. She used her tongue in broad, generous strokes, then moved higher, alternating between flicking and pressing. Tara clawed at her back and her hips jerked. Her toes pointed and her legs extended, squeezing so hard they almost cramped. Pam caressed Tara's hips and her tensing abs, then moved her hands up and down her body as she nipped, sucked, and lapped her up. Tara wailed softly and bent her legs so her heels were now digging into the floor. She squeezed her eyes shut, and as soon as Pam slipped her fingers inside her again, Tara was there. Pam worked her tongue, lips, and fingers into a rhythm and Tara was shuddering against her mere moments later. Her mind blanked and her vision clouded. Her hips arched and she tried to stop writhing and shaking. Pam waited for a while, then licked her lips and wiped her nose with the back of her hand. When Tara eventually calmed, she opened her eyes, blearily peering at Pam and meeting her eyes in an unfocused gaze. Pam kissed Tara's neck, nuzzling her nose into her as she continued running her hands up and down her smooth torso.

Tara lay there simply breathing for a while. Her stomach expanded and receded with each deep inhale and exhale. When Pam stroked Tara's cheek, she finally spoke.

"Why do we always end up fucking on the floor," she mumbled.

"I don't know," Pam giggled. "To break conventionality, perhaps," she teased.

"You are nasty," Tara murmured breathily.

"I'm a vampire," Pam returned with a smile and a wink.

Tara was too spent to even roll her eyes. Pam pulled her up to sitting and handed her bra and shirt to her.

"Look at you, lying there naked after having sex at your workplace. So inappropriate," Pam mocked.

"You're the one who-!" Tara began, but Pam interrupted her with a brief kiss.

"Calm down, crazy. Go get dressed," she ordered. Pam stood up and walked back to the bar where she gathered the rest of her clothes. Tara got changed and went to the bathroom to take care of everything else. She spent a little too long trying to fix her hair, which had become a tangled mess. When she emerged, she saw that Pam had taken care of the rest of the dishes and had cleaned whatever else was left.

"Thanks," Tara said with a small smile as she looked around.

"Mhm," Pam replied. "Come on," she said, walking down the hallway and pulling Tara along with her.

They pushed open the back door and Tara searched through her ring of keys for the right one. Right as she grabbed the edge of the door to close it, however, a gunshot blared loudly. A bullet whizzed past Pam's ear, barely missing.

Pam instinctively held an arm out in front of Tara, pushing her back and standing in front of her.

"Go inside," she urged.

Tara didn't move. Her eyes were scanning the lot, trying to figure out where the shot came from. Her pupils had dilated and her heart was pounding.

"Tara, I said _go_," and Pam pushed her so hard that Tara stumbled back. Tara went inside, but not for long.

Pam closed the door and used her keen sense of smell to determine where the shooter was. She vamp sped towards her car and her fangs protracted. There she saw a man crouched behind the car, a gun propped between his hands. Pam remembered him all too well. His face, his smell, it had all been branded into her mind the night Tara was attacked. He wore a sleeveless, camouflage military shirt and he didn't have a lick of fear on his face. Pam knew he was prepared, that the bullets in his gun were far from ordinary. He slowly stood up and walked around the car, arms extended completely as he aimed directly at her heart.

Tara had scurried to the bar and reached under the counter for her gun. She held it against the side of her thigh and cautiously walked back down the hallway.

There was a green jeep parked on the other side of the lot, and another male eventually emerged and walked closer to Pam. He held a gun as well, but his hands were shaking. He looked desperate, flustered, and terrified as he edged closer to the two of them. He looked very young, barely a teenager. He had dirty blonde hair in a buzz cut and wore a stained red t-shirt and loose jeans. Pam didn't recognize him, but she was beginning to panic. She didn't know how many others there were. She prayed that no one was seeking Tara as well, because there was absolutely nothing she could do to help her right now.

The boy planted himself directly in front of Pam, his arms trembling harder and his lips quivering as he looked her in the eye.

"You killed my brother," he whimpered, hot tears forming in the corners of his eyes. The man in the army tee watched on, wishing the boy would get a hold of himself, but he stayed quiet.

Pam swallowed. A third man emerged from across the lot, and this one she recognized as the second friend who had fled that night. He too had a gun cocked and at the ready. He had a wide frame and wore a white wife beater that revealed his thick, muscular shoulders and forearms. He moved away from the jeep but stopped after just a few steps, keeping his distance. His job was to scour the area and ensure no one was around, and he was ready to fire if necessary. But he stared down Pam first, delighting in the satisfaction of seeing her stand there utterly trapped and powerless, about to meet her fate.

Tara was crouched behind the back door. She was listening intently, waiting for the right moment to act. Her breaths were quick and shallow and her mouth was completely dry. Her heart thumped almost painfully against her chest and she prayed that Pam was okay.

All of a sudden, she heard another gunshot. Then she heard Pam's muffled scream. One of the men had fired a silver bullet into her stomach, which lodged itself into her flesh, burning and corroding it. He fired another two and Pam's voice seized in her throat from the incinerating pain.

The fear and complete dread that flooded Tara's veins in that moment was almost paralyzing. She reached up and turned the knob, pushing it open as little as possible. She aimed her gun at the first body she saw, firing and lingering long enough to see the boy fall to the ground as the bullet penetrated his skull. He was dead in an instant, and blood began to trickle down the side of his face as he lay on the dirt, his limbs in a tangled mess.

The man in the white tank roared and turned to fire at the door Tara was stooped behind. She slammed the door and backed up, hugging the wall and gripping her gun tighter in her clammy hands.

"I said no killing that one!" the one in the camo shirt declared authoritatively. Murdering a human was a much more heinous, punishable offense. They were just there to make Pam suffer as much as possible, to finish her off until all that was left of her was a melted, bloody puddle lying on the filthy ground.

The man's bullets were wooden with a silver core, and he fired two, one in each kneecap. Pam cried out, and the pain spiked as she fell onto her knees, unable to remain standing.

The man in the wife beater was charging towards Tara, and he fired his gun again.

"LEROY!" the other man bellowed.

The man snarled but he didn't fire again. Both men moved closer to Tara, and the one by Pam grabbed her by her collar and dragged her across the dirt. They both pointed their guns at the door and the one holding onto Pam began to speak.

"Give us your gun," he commanded.

Tara remained pressed against the wall inside, petrified.

"Give us your gun!" the man said louder now. When she still didn't come out, he aimed his gun down and shot Pam in each thigh. Pam cried out and Tara stood up in an instant. She opened the door and walked outside, trying with all her might to not appear afraid. She saw Pam on her knees, covered in blood, her shoulders slumped and her head hung low.

Tara took a few steps forward and placed her gun on the ground, then backed up slowly with her hands up in the air. The man in white tucked his gun into his pants and marched towards her. He couldn't kill her, but he could still fuck her up. The other man dragged Pam back towards the car, away from where the street lights were shining down harshly on them.

Tara didn't run. She held her ground as the man edged closer to her, seeing him flex his fingers and curl them into fists. He closed the remaining distance between them and swung at her with a hay maker. Tara ducked and shot back up again as she smacked his nose up with the heel of her hand, breaking it. He howled as blood began to gush down his face. He charged her again and brought his hands around her neck. Tara used her forearms to push his hands up and away from her throat, and then kneed him in the groin. He groaned and staggered back, and Tara turned to reach for her gun on the ground. He saw this and grabbed her by the back of the head, ripping her hair so hard that her head snapped back. He shoved her to the ground and tried to hold her down on her back. He dug his knees into her thighs and grabbed her hands as she struggled. Being on her feet was one thing, but he was much heavier and stronger and Tara didn't know how to get out of this one.

He backed up his upper body slightly so he was out of her arm's length. He then let go of one of her hands and moved to the seam of her jeans. He knew the second he did this Tara would bring her hands to cover herself and push him away, and he took this opportunity to punch her uncovered face. He hit her in the jaw, then in the eye, and then hard in the throat. Tara gasped, unable to breathe, and then felt his hands once again wrap around her throat. She couldn't take in any air, and for a while lay there suffocating. But with everything she had, she lifted her arms and brought her hands to his face. She clawed at his eyes with as much might as she could muster, and he shrieked so loudly that his friend looked towards the two of them. He had been taking his time torturing Pam, who now had so much silver embedded in her flesh that her body was barely able to heal itself. He watched as Tara managed to push the blinded, bloody man off of her, and she began to crawl towards her gun.

"Oh for fuck's sake," the man by Pam muttered. He fired two more bullets into Pam to be safe before marching towards Tara.

Just as Tara was inches from reaching her gun, the man planted himself in front of her and pointed his gun. After a split second, a gunshot blasted. Tara crumpled to the ground. Pam screamed. It was the most heart wrenching and devastated sound that she had ever made.

He pulled the trigger once more, then pushed Tara's hip with his foot until she was lying on her back. He then moved to his friend who was curled on his side in agony. His hands and face were bloodied and a strained whimper exited his lips as he shook and trembled. The man knelt down and pulled his friend's hands off of his face, and even he recoiled at the ghastly sight.

Pam wanted to die. She lay there sobbing, barely able to move. But in that moment, she pulled something out of herself she didn't even know was there. From somewhere so deep and so potent, out of sheer, vicious rage and out of consuming, boundless love for Tara, she garnered the strength to move. She slowly scooted closer to the boy's corpse and reached for his gun. Her hand shook as she held it and let it rest behind her back. She then hung her head and waited, blood tears still leaking down her cheeks and soaking the strands of hair that fell across her face.

The man's friend was a complete mess. He decided to drag him over to Pam and try and give him some of her blood to hopefully heal him. He picked him up under his armpits until he was standing. The friend staggered and almost fell. The man held him steady, and they slowly made their way over to Pam.

When they were close enough, he set his friend down on the ground and tucked his gun into his pants momentarily as he reached into his pocket for his Swiss army knife.

Pam clenched the gun in her hand a little tighter, and when she felt the man kneel in front of her, she knew it was time. She lifted her arm and pressed the gun right against his throat. She pulled the trigger, and the bullet went clean through the back of his neck. He fell backwards and blood began to stream out of the gaping hole. Pam released her fingers and the gun fell to the ground.

She crawled and crawled, fighting against the excruciating pain in every limb and expanse of her body as she moved. Her body shook as she sobbed, and she finally reached Tara. She collapsed on top of her and she pressed her ear over Tara's heart. But she already knew. She was gone.


	18. Chapter 18

_***** A/N**__ So guys, there is another fic I really want to get started on. I haven't decided if that means I will be taking a break from this one for a little while, but I just wanted to let you know anyway. I think you will like that one a lot too, so don't be disappointed :) ***_

* * *

_5 minutes earlier_

"Russell's escaped?" Sookie asked in disbelief.

Nan Flanagan sat at her desk, looking grimaced and irritated as usual.

"You can thank your both of your lovely boyfriends for that. I can't decide which one of you is more of a complete and utter fuck up," she voiced bitterly.

Eric was so over Nan and the stick up her ass that he didn't even react. Bill, on the other hand, clenched his jaw tightly as he sat beside them.

"Why did you bring me here and tell me this?" Sookie inquired.

"Because Russell is on the loose and is going to wreak as much havoc as he can. He is going to destroy every ounce of progress the American Vampire League has made in the past thirty years. But we know one thing: he would do almost anything to taste you again. If you agree to help us, we can track him down and give him the true fucking death he was supposed to have received over a year ago."

Bill sat up in his chair. "There is no way I will allow Sookie to risk her life to be used simply as _bait_ for Russell. As if we are not capable of finding and killing him on our own," he objected.

"Oh, are you Bill?" Nan retorted. "Please tell me all about your past success with taking care of Russell Edgington," she muttered.

"Bill, I can speak for myself," Sookie urged.

All of a sudden, Eric's head snapped up as a sharp spike of fear and pain flashed through him. It was from his bond, but it was so palpable and potent that it was hard to distinguish the difference. He held steady, gauging if it was just passing.

Another flash of agonizing pain ripped through him. No, this was most certainly not passing.

Sookie turned and saw Eric's face had changed. His eyes had grown wide and he looked even paler than usual.

"Nan, I need to go-" he began.

"We're not finished yet," she snapped matter-of-factly.

"_I need to go_. I beg of you. It's an emergency," Eric warned.

"Jesus Christ, Eric. What the hell could be more important than finding out that Russell Edgington is back? That it's your heads on the table if he isn't found?" she demanded impatiently.

Sookie looked at him with concern. "Eric, what is it?"

He swallowed. "It's Pam. She's in danger."

"Where is she?" Sookie asked.

Eric checked in, trying to specifically locate where his progeny was. "Bon Temps," he replied. He paused for another moment. "Merlotte's," he added.

Sookie suddenly grew fearful. "Is Tara there? Is she okay?" she pushed.

"I don't know," Eric responded. Another flood of fear and agony suddenly seared through him. With that, he turned to leave the office. Sookie promptly turned and followed him.

"Eric!" Nan called out.

"I'm coming with you," Sookie told him.

"Sookie!" Bill exclaimed. "It is not safe for you to-"

But Eric had already picked Sookie up and vamp sped out of the building.

XXX

What they saw when they arrived confirmed all of their worst fears imaginable. Eric put Sookie down, and the two of them saw a bloodied, devastated Pam clinging to a battered, lifeless Tara. Everything had transpired in a mere matter of minutes, and now it was over. They were too late.

Sookie's face immediately crumpled and she raced over to Tara. Eric looked around, noting the cadavers of two bloodstained men sprawled on the ground. He then saw that one of the men was still alive. He was groaning on his side as his face lay in the dirt. Eric sped over to him, pulling him up in the air by his throat, snarling as his fangs popped. The man placed his hand feebly over Eric's, completely failing to pull it away. Eric squeezed tighter, then placed his feet back on the ground only to then immediately snap his neck. The man fell back down with a thud, and Eric raced over to his progeny.

Pam was sobbing, despite each convulsion seeming to push the silver bullets deeper into her stomach. Her dress was torn and pushed almost all the way up her thighs, but she didn't care. Sookie knelt down on the opposite side of Tara, gripping her shoulder as tears began to fall freely from her eyes. She bent down and pressed her forehead against Tara's, and Pam stopped crying. She almost wanted to shove Sookie away. She didn't want to share her. She wanted to be alone with her.

Pam then felt Eric's hand on her back. He knelt down beside her and looked at her. Her body was a complete mess. She looked utterly destroyed. It was the lowest and most heartbroken he had ever seen her.

He knew that before anything else, she needed to heal. She was so weak that she couldn't even protract her own fangs. Eric turned to look at Sookie, who was still crying hopelessly.

"Sookie…" he said softly.

Sookie didn't hear him over the sound of her own sobs.

"Sookie," he repeated, louder now.

She sat up and looked at him, trying to control her breathing as she wiped her eyes with the back of her wrist.

"Pam is weak. She needs blood," Eric explained quietly.

Sookie looked over at Pam, whose eyes were now closed as she held one of Tara's hands securely between her own. Tears still slowly fell down her cheeks.

Sookie wanted to ask "What about Tara?" but she resisted. Instead, she nodded slightly and swallowed. She held out her wrist as she gazed down at her best friend.

Eric's fangs clicked and he gently bit into Sookie's skin. She flinched, and then felt him pull away. He then cupped Pam's cheek, and she opened her eyes.

"Drink," he commanded mildly as he brought Sookie's punctured wrist to her mouth.

Pam didn't want to heal. The silver lodged grotesquely in her flesh was a physical manifestation of the agonizing heartache she felt. It was better that it was there.

"Pamela," Eric continued. "You need to hurry."

Pam looked at him. It was only then that she realized he was right, that she understood what he was referring to. She had been too caught up in her grief to think clearly.

She leaned down and pressed her lips to Sookie's wrist and she began to suck. As she did, she could feel her body healing as it gradually pushed the bullets out. She could feel herself gaining strength. She drank and drank, and eventually Eric pulled her head away gently. He stood up and took Sookie with him. He dug his thumb into his fang and rubbed it against her wrist.

"I'm taking you home," he murmured.

Sookie backed away. "No," she asserted. "I'm staying."

"Sookie," he stressed. "There is nothing more to do."

Sookie looked over at Tara. She never thought she would have ever seen that image, of seeing her best friend lying dead on the ground, murdered before her 30th birthday. She had always believed she and Tara would grow old together, that they would get though whatever chaos and suffering they were going through at the moment and eventually find peace. They they would live the rest of their lives out together in bliss, without much outside disturbance or upset. But there Tara lay, absent a pulse, a breath, or any ounce of consciousness.

Eric took Sookie's hand, then picked her up and sped away. He dropped her off at her home and then returned with a shovel. He took care of the dead bodies, and once he was finished, he walked into the woods and began digging in an isolated spot.

Eric's reminder to hurry propelled a sense of haste in Pam. The minute she stopped feeding, she protracted her fangs. Tara had lost so much blood that there was no need to drain her. Pam pulled Tara up against her chest and tilted her head back. She then tore the skin on her wrist and held the dripping appendage over Tara's mouth. This was the worst kind of déjà vu. But she tried to stay calm. And she prayed, with everything she had, that she wasn't too late.

When she had finished giving Tara her blood, Eric walked over. He picked Tara up, and they both moved to where he had dug a deep hole in the ground. He laid her inside, and then turned to Pam. He cradled her face between his hands and kissed her forehead.

"I am so sorry I couldn't get to you sooner," he said gently.

A tear slid down Pam's cheek. She couldn't speak, but she nodded.

"She will be fine," Eric assured her.

Pam wasn't convinced. But she tried to have faith.

"I have to go now. I'll be back tomorrow night," he stated. He leaned down and kissed her again.

"I love you," he added.

Pam still couldn't speak, but she nodded again and felt another tear fall down her cheek. Eric watched her climb in next to Tara, and he grabbed the shovel. She snuggled as closely as she could to her and wrapped an arm around her. She held her tightly and closed her eyes. Eric buried them, and just as he finished, the morning sun was beginning its ascent. He sped off, leaving Tara in the arms of his hopeful yet terrified progeny.

XXX

It was very difficult for Pam to try and sleep. She couldn't stop worrying. She was worried that she would screw this up; it had been over a hundred years since she had last turned someone. She was worried it had been too late to try this last resort for life for her. She was worried that she would never hear her speak again, never see her smile again, never feel her touch again. She couldn't bear it. She clung tighter to Tara and tried to think of the good memories.

She remembered the first time they kissed. Where hate turned to need in an instant. She remembered waking up to the feeling of Tara's lips against her skin, feeling her place gentle kisses on her tummy. She remembered the first time they made love. How nothing had ever felt more right. How she never knew until then just how much someone's touch could make her feel, make her melt, make her want to withdraw every wall she had ever put up.

She remembered the little things. Brushing their teeth together. Intertwining their fingers. Hearing each other giggle. Fighting but knowing that it was out of nothing but care. Watching Tara sleep, the way she curled up on her side like a puppy. The way her skin positively glowed. The way they could just lie in bed for hours, never growing bored. The feeling of falling in love, harder and faster than she ever had before.

Pam tried not to cry again. She didn't want to say good-bye to this. She couldn't. She needed it. She needed her. Tara could not be taken from her so soon, so unexpectedly. It would be nothing short of cruel. Pam didn't think she would ever be able to move on from this completely. Tara had only been in her life for a short while, but she just couldn't imagine living without her anymore. She had never fully understood people who killed themselves after losing their loved ones until now.

The only reason Pam eventually fell asleep was from the paranoia that not getting enough rest would inhibit the process. That it would somehow affect the transformation. So she held Tara close and gradually let herself drift off into slumber.

XXX

The next evening, Pam awoke and suddenly a surge of what felt exactly like adrenaline coursed swiftly through her body. She squeezed Tara, hoping to feel some movement from her. Nothing.

She crawled out of the ground, dirt spilling down her body as she pulled herself out. She pinched her dress and shook it, and more dirt escaped down her stomach and legs. She knelt and began to dig with her hands, carelessly tossing dirt aside to get closer to Tara. When she was finally uncovered, Pam pulled her up and sat on the ground, placing Tara's head in her lap. She pushed all the dirt off her face, gazing at her serene expression. She sat there stroking her face, desperately praying that it had worked.

But nothing happened. The minutes rolled by to no avail. Pam slowly felt her hope slip away. She felt a dread growing inside her, which soon turned into an outright panic.

Tara was dead. Forever. She was gone.

Tears brimmed in her eyes with this realization. Pam choked back a sob.

"No," she cried, She placed her hands around Tara's chest as her body began to shake.

"Tara," she blubbered. She tilted her head back and felt her blood tears slide down her cheek and off her chin. "No," she wept.

How could this happen? How could she just be taken away so quickly from her?

Pam wept and wept. Her voice grated harshly against her throat. She stopped speaking words and simply voiced incomprehensible, guttural sounds of complete heartache and agony.

After a while, she reached up and wiped her face. She looked down and saw that Tara's face was covered in her tears. She cleaned them away, and swallowed as she looked at her again. She never wanted to let go. She held there for a while, stroking her cheek with the pad of her thumb.

_I loved you more than I've ever loved anyone_, she thought.

And then, Tara's eyes opened.


	19. Chapter 19

Pam's eyes widened and her mouth fell open.

"Tara?" she exclaimed.

Tara gazed up at her and blinked.

"Oh my God, Tara," Pam cried. She moved her arms under her back and picked her up, pulling her into her lap. She clung desperately to her, never having felt more relieved in her life.

Tara was quiet. Her senses were overwhelming her. Her vision, her hearing, her sense of smell… they all consumed her. But nothing compared to the overpowering hunger that plagued her. It was almost debilitating. She could smell human blood in the air and it made her mouth water. She sat there, enwrapped in Pam's arms in confusion and awe. She attempted to overcome these new overloaded sensations to recall everything that had just happened.

_I'm a vampire…_ _I died…_

Pam squeezed Tara tighter, then pulled away so they were looking at each other. Pam's face was covered in tears, dried and fresh ones. What was most startling to Tara is that she didn't even need to see this to know what Pam was feeling. She felt it at her very core. She could feel an abundance of love, joy, and relief flowing from Pam straight into her.

Pam brought her hand to Tara's face, caressing it as she continued to cry.

"I can never lose you," she choked out.

Tara stared at Pam in wonder. The reality of this all was still sinking in. But as she looked into her eyes, she brought her own hand to Pam's cheek.

"I'm here," she said softly.

Pam's face crumpled and she moved to embrace her again. She held her as tightly as she could. Pam could feel Tara's presence within her again, her every emotion again. They were connected.

Pam never wanted to let go. Those few minutes of thinking Tara was gone forever were still mercilessly haunting her. She had to continuously remind herself that they were false, that it was all okay now.

She buried her face into Tara's neck as tears continued to fall. Tara reached her arms around Pam's back, gently rubbing in a soothing manner. She was very happy to be in Pam's arms again, but this was all so much to adjust to.

Tara could still breathe, but only when she consciously decided to. She looked around and could clearly see the beady black eyes of an opossum from hundreds of feet away. She could hear the faint rustling of leaves from the very tops of the trees. And she could smell. Everything.

But she wanted to taste. She was starving. She had never felt so famished before in her life.

Pam knew that they would have to move eventually. They were covered in dirt and blood, and she knew Tara needed to feed. She just needed time to calm down. She needed to feel Tara's embrace a little longer. She needed to gaze into those eyes that were now so full of life again. She was no longer alone.

Pam wiped her eyes with the back of her hand and stood up. She set Tara down and tugged her dress down her thighs.

"Are you okay?" she asked.

"Yeah," Tara answered softly.

Pam nodded. She then used vamp speed to sprint a hundred yards away, and immediately sped back.

Tara watched and realized that this was an ability she had now. That Pam was demonstrating it for her.

"Try it," Pam urged.

"How?" Tara answered.

"You'll know," Pam replied.

Tara looked at her for a moment, unconvinced. But sure enough, the instant she took off, her body naturally propelled in a flash to the other side of the lot.

Pam smiled. "Come on," she affirmed, and the two of them took off into the distance.

XXX

They arrived at Fangtasia, and Pam gave Tara a handful of bottles of Tru Blood before doing anything else. Tara was so hungry she didn't even mind the unpleasant taste. She swallowed each bottle in three or four gulps and was ready for the next one. Pam watched in marvel. It was a radical change, seeing this vehement thirst for blood within Tara. It was unusual, but it just took some getting used to.

Tara set down another empty bottle and Pam grabbed her hand. She guided her to the bathroom, then handed her a towel and a clean pair of clothes.

"Go on," Pam pressed.

"Aren't you coming in?" Tara asked.

"I'll be back in a little while. Go get clean." She leaned forward and pecked her on the lips. She couldn't help but move in and kiss her again, this time allowing their lips to overlap. She would never get tired of this.

Tara closed the door and began to get undressed. Pam walked into the office where Eric was sitting. The moment they saw each other, they smiled.

"I told you," Eric said as he raised his eyebrows.

Pam's eyes teared up again. She nodded.

"I didn't come to you at sundown because I could feel your excitement. I wanted to let you two have your time together," he explained.

Pam nodded again. Eric stood up and moved to pull her into an embrace. She rubbed dirt all over his shirt but he didn't mind. He bent down and kissed the top of her head. Pam then had a thought, chuckling as she looked up at him.

"You're a grandfather now," she giggled.

Eric's lips turned in a wry smile. "Indeed. And you're a mother," he added.

Pam let this realization sink in. She was, she supposed. An idea that for so long filled her with disgust and dread now brought her a warmth and elation. She was whole-heartedly ready to accept this role. It simply meant she and Tara were connected in one more way. Tara was her child, her lover, her best friend, her everything.

XXX

Tara showered and drank what felt like 100 more Tru Bloods. Her hunger still not satisfied. Her hormones were in a frenzy. She was a _vampire_. It was so strange. It was one thing to hypothetically ponder being turned, or to witness other vampires feeding and fighting. But to now literally embody one was a huge transition. She had fangs. Her heart no longer beat. Silver and the sun were her worst enemies. She was now a creature of the night. And she was immortal. That one was still hard to fully grasp. She could live forever if she wanted. Tara didn't even understand what that truly meant.

Pam had bathed soon afterwards and came out to see her again. Eric had left to comfort Sookie and tell her the news. Tara knew that her transformation would come as a huge shock to Bon Temps, but that was the least of her concerns.

An hour passed, and soon Fangtasia was open. Pam sat in Eric's throne, searching through the crowd of fang bangers for someone she deemed acceptable. She picked a short, curvy blonde in a royal blue, strapless dress and brought her into the basement. She beckoned Tara, who followed them down the stairs.

Pam taught her how to feed, and more importantly how to stop. She even glamored the woman to give Tara a brief introduction on it. Pam sent the woman on her way when they were done with her, and Tara proceeded to ask question after question as they sat on her bed. Pam answered patiently, despite the fact that she knew that Tara would have just as many questions the next night. When Tara's curiosity was satiated for the time being, they fell silent for a while.

"I'm going to have to buy you your own coffin," Pam said with a smile.

"Can it be purple?" Tara grinned.

Pam laughed. "Pink and purple coffins. We are such girls."

She leaned her head against Tara's shoulder and placed her hand on her thigh. She caressed her lovingly and her eyes slipped shut. She was then surprised to feel a rush of arousal course through her, coming straight from Tara. Feeling Tara's emotions wasn't new for Pam, but she decided to send her own heavy wave of desire straight through their bond to Tara.

Tara's jaw fell open as she did. She had never experienced something like that before. Feeling someone else's arousal literally inside her. It turned her on so much that her fangs clicked in an instant.

Pam chuckled. Tara growled and moved to sit over Pam, pushing her down hard on her back. Pam knew Tara was about to go crazy on her, so she swept her hand lightly down Tara's cheek. Her movements were lulling and romantic, and Tara felt herself calm as she met Pam's eyes.

Pam was now projecting so much love towards her that it made Tara swell, warming every inch of her. Tara leaned down and kissed her gently. When she broke away, Pam ran her thumb across Tara's fangs. Tara suddenly became self-conscious of them, but Pam shook her head.

"They're hot," she murmured. "Especially on you."

Tara kissed her again, slipping her tongue inside Pam's mouth. Pam reciprocated, and they kissed like this for a while, hands roaming everywhere. Tara gripped Pam's thighs firmly, and just from this Pam could feel Tara's new immense strength.

Tara suddenly grew impatient, and she unbuttoned Pam's pants and pulled them off hastily along with her underwear. Tara felt another rush of arousal flow through her from Pam's end. Tara wanted her so fucking badly. She ran her hands up and down the insides of her milky thighs and groaned into her mouth. She pulled away only to tend to the rest of her clothes, and Pam looked up admiringly at her. She was turned on, but she was happy simply with the fact that Tara was here with her. She would have been content holding Tara, or watching her doing anything. But when she felt Tara push her shirt up and pull down the cup of her bra to suck on her breasts, she realized that this right here was very much what she wanted to be doing.

Tara ripped Pam's shirt down the middle and tore it off. She moved her hands to the clasp of Pam's bra that sat right above her sternum and unhooked it, dragging it down her arms. She kissed, licked, and nipped everywhere and Pam ran her hands down Tara's toned back and arms. She wanted retribution, so she swiftly ripped Tara's shirt and pulled it off with a smirk. She palmed her abs and felt a tiny twinge of regret with the realization that Tara was no longer ticklish.

They were both soon free of all clothes and resumed their kisses and touches. This was a very different experience, yet it was familiar and comforting at the same time. They felt both safe and free in each other's arms.

They made love, then they fucked, then they made love again. In one instance when Pam was climaxing, Tara followed her impulse and bit her. She sank her fangs into her neck, right where her pulse point would have been. Pam cried out and gripped Tara harder. She eventually reciprocated, aware that Tara didn't taste the same anymore, but as they drank from each other they only grew closer. They were one.

Tara had always been in shape, but she had a new stamina that would have allowed her to keep going for another several hours at the minimum. But eventually they had a desire to rest, to simply lay there in silent bliss.

And that's exactly what Pam felt. Bliss. Purely and utterly. They turned on their sides to gaze at each other, and Tara's lips curved into a small smile. She reached for Pam's hand and clasped it gently inside her own. Love, trust, and joy flowed freely between the two of them, radiating through every expanse of their bodies.

Tara was Pam's and Pam was Tara's. Forever.

_** A/N**__ That's all, folks! It's been a hell of a ride. Thank you for taking it with me. And I just posted chapter 1 of a new fic today, so check that out if you are sad that this one is ending! Don't worry, I am far from done writing about these two :) Love you all! xoxo_


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